It was a bright and shiny day in Kuzcotopia. The beloved and often impersonated Emperor Kuzco was eating dinner. Suddenly, a girl burst into the room.

"Your highness!" she gasped, dropping to her knees in a bow. "I have come from far to warn you---there is a plan to lay siege to the castle tonight!"

"Boo-yeah!" Kuzco cried out happily, throwing his fork out of his hand and poking out his cook's left eye. "Attack!"

"But sir~" the girl trailed off. "We have limited troops!"

"I know." Kuzco grinned.

"But why are you grinning!? This is cause for alarm!"

"Follow me." The Emperor motioned for the young and beautiful maid to follow him into the Royal chamber.

"I don't understand-" she began, but Kuzco silenced her by throwing his royal robe in her face.

"Let's make an army!" he cried out gleefully, jumping on his bed.

"But sir!" The girl watched the God-Like Emperor fling off his golden crown. She shrugged. "Well alright."

Three hours later, they had made an army large enough to overthrow any opposing force against the castle. The opposing team was beaten quite badly, and Kuzco was allowed to dance his triumph dance before nightfall.

"I love you!" the maid said happily, hugging her Emperor.

"NO TOUCHY!" Kuzco yelled.

"But… I thought… after this morning…"

"You were simply a tool of war for me, Maid! Back to the kitchen for you! BACK!" he kicked her. "The Emperor does not need a woman!"

"But…" her lip trembled. "But I thought you loved me!"
"LOVE!? HA! I only love myself!" he hugged himself happily. "Now go away before I have to kick you again!"

The girl silently did as she had been ordered by her Almighty Emperor.

A/N: ENG belongs to Disney. The maid belongs to me. ME! MEEEEEEEEEEE!