*Renesmee POV*
I'm surrounded by so many people who love me. And, I love them too. So much. My Dad, Edward, who looks out for me, and cherishes me like I'm the most wonderful thing in the world. My Aunts Alice, and Rosalie, who spoil me tremendously to an extent I would believe not legal. Both my uncles, Emmett and Jasper, pick on me. Like a big brotherly way. Its fun, trust me, and I know they would knock the heck out of anyone who tried to hurt me. My Grandparents, Carlisle and Esme, who love me like no tomorrow. And then theres Jacob. Jake. My Jacob. My world. And he thinks it of me too. He's my all time protector. I know my Father despises it- the thought of us sharing a love that is beyond sibling like- but theres nothing anyone can say or do to make me feel any less towards Jake. I love him. Heck, I'm IN love with him.
The atmosphere in our home is just ecstatic. To an extent, anyway.
I'm sure you found one little glitch in the above statements. I didn't once mention my Mom. The one who gave birth to me.
You see, me and my family aren't like the others in our town. We're vampires. Well, except me and Jake. Jakes a werewolf. Me, I'm half vampire, half human. Crazy, I know. But my Mom, she was human when she carried and had me. I developed just mere weeks after she found out she was pregnant, and I was just to strong for her fragile human body.
I destroyed her. My own Mother, died because of me. My Father doesn't like me to think that way, and he hears it everytime I do, because he can read minds. He could read every thought from anyone, except my Mother. Some vampires carry there strongest trait over from their human lives when their turned. Alice can see the future, and Jasper can manipulate peoples emotions and make them feel what he wants them to.
Back to my Mother. As I said, she didn't make it. I tore her up trying to get out. I didn't mean to, honestly! I feel like the biggest monster on Earth! More than a vampire. And thats saying something! I'll never be able to get over the fact that I am the reason my Mother is no longer here. So, when I said my Father doesn't like me thinking of it that way, he doesn't. He never has blamed me for the death of her, but I know his heart is broken forever. Literally. I see the pain he's in everyday. And that just makes it all the more worse.
He tried so hard to save her. Biting her in every place possible to get as much venom in her system as fast he could. But it was too late. Her heart had already stopped. The end.
He's torn apart inside. I just cant stand it. I really don't try to think about when he's near, but sometimes I just cant help it. And I bawl. Regular vampires cant cry. But I'm sure not the norm. My family all comforts me, and tells me its not my fault, but I can see the loss in their eyes. Every one of them miss my Mom just as much as I do. Even Rosalie, who I heard wasn't very fond of my Mom in her human state, misses her. She regrets not getting to know her while she had the chance.
Everyone talks about her in such a loving manner, that I'm actually jealous. I've never even seen my Mom! Except in the few pictures still kept around the house. She was absolutely beautiful! I see a lot of her in myself. I have her eyes. Her big, doe brown eyes. I have my dads bronze hair. But its curly like my Moms. I wish I had just one memory of her. Its all my fault, that everyones suffering. I deserve the guilt for the rest of my life. Sometimes I just wish that I was never born.
"Renesmee!" My Father yelled, pain clear in his voice. "Please, PLEASE, don't EVER think that. I'm just as blessed as everyone else that you're hear today. I cant imagine not having you here!"
"Dad, I know. But I cant shake the thought that its all my fault! You and everyone know that she would still be here if it weren't for me!" I said back, harsher than I meant.
"Baby girl, I love you with my whole existence. We just all have to accept the fact that things aren't all perfect as we'd like. But thats life. You get things important, and you lose things important. You just have to learn to take whatever life throws, and make it the best you can. Theres nothing we can do to bring your Mom back. Is it hard? Yes. We'll all never be able to fully accept that. But it's not gonna get any better if you keep putting yourself to blame for it."
"Dad, I'll never be able to stop blaming my self." I said through tear filled eyes.
"Nessie, thats enough. I don't want to hear you say that ever again!"
"But Daddy-" I started, tears starting to hit my cheeks, but he cut me off.
"I said that enough!" He yelled.
Tears flowing fast now, "Fine." and I stalked off to my room to take a much needed nap. I can sleep, but full vampires cant. They don't need to.
I buried my head in my pillow, letting the sobs come as they may. I don't care what my Dad or anyone tells me. I'll always think that.
I fell asleep right away.
I didn't wake till i heard a soft knock at my door..
"Nessie? Its me. Can I come in?" ...
Its only the first chapter. It'll get better. (: I'm sure some people have done this idea before, but I'll make it my own. I really hope yall like it. (:
Tell me watcha think and review please! Thanks3
