Chapter 1: No Words

When he picked up the phone I got more nervous. I suddenly regretted even calling and his response just made it worse. He covered the receiver so that I didn't have to hear him talking to his girlfriend. Regardless of the effort I could still here him.

"Baby, I'll be right back it's Justin," he lied.

"Okay, hurry love," she replied.

He walked to where she couldn't hear either of us.

"Hey, Katie I'm kind of busy. Can we make this fast?" he said.

"It's really important," I answered.

"What is it? Are you okay?"

"I just need to talk to you about something."

"Okay, go ahead."

"Kyle, it's an in person talk. I need you to come over whenever you get a chance. It's an emergency."

"Alright, I'll text you when I'm on my way. I have to say bye and stuff."

"Okay, thanks," I said.

"Bye Katie."

"Bye Kyle."

We hung up. I waited what seemed like forever, wishing that this were over with. Finally, he texted, "I'm leaving and will be there soon." I went over the words in my head again. I thought about what and how to tell him. After what seemed like hours, the moment I dreaded and feared most arrived. He knocked three times like he did three weeks earlier. I took a deep breath before opening the door. The door opened with a screech which irritated my head that was already aching.

"Are you okay?"

I didn't look okay. My eyes were red, and I felt sick. I just wanted to go away far, far away.

"No," I answered.

"What happened?"

"Can we sit down?" I said hoping I wouldn't faint.

"Yeah, of course."

We sat down. I began to cry again.

"Katie, don't cry. Tell me what happened."

I had lost all words. In the time I needed words most, they escaped me.

"Calm down," Kyle said.

"I'm trying."

"I'm going to get you some water," he said walking into the kitchen.

I followed him.

"Kyle, I don't know how to say this."

"Just do it, Katie. I have to leave in ten minutes."

"Okay," I paused, "I'm…well I…" I still couldn't say it. I pulled out the stick with the little pink plus sign. "I'm pregnant."

"What?" he asked.

I started crying again. "I'm pregnant."

"Oh my God," Kyle said sitting down.

"Yeah."

"And I'm the only one?"

This question was a dumb one. He knew that was my first time. He also knew I wasn't a slut.

"You are the only one I've ever slept with."

We both got quiet. At that moment, I wished I could read his thoughts. Just then my brother Rob walked in.

"Hey sis, oh God what's he doing here?"

"I asked him to come over."

"Why?"

"Cause I needed to talk to him."

"Can we head up to your room?" Kyle asked.

"Katlyn, we need to talk," Robbie said.

"Go ahead, Kyle. I'll be up in a minute."

He walked upstairs.

"What?" I asked.

"You're not dating him again, right?"

"No, I'm not."

"Good. Katie, I hated the way he just left you. You were so depressed then he didn't even talk to you when he got with that slut, Megan."

"It just didn't work out. It's all good now," I said trying to get away.

"You don't act like its okay."

"It is I'm fine."

"Just be careful, sis."

"Okay," I said running upstairs.

"Sorry," I said walking in my room.

"It's okay," Kyle said.

"So, what are we going to do?"

"I have no clue."

"I think I have to keep it," I said hoping he'd understand.

"I figured. Can we not tell anyone yet?"

"Yeah, I think we need to figure out a plan before we go and tell everyone."

"Yeah."

There was a weird silence between us.

"I'm here for both of you. You know that, right?" he said.

I nodded. I started tearing up again. He had a girlfriend. He couldn't be there for us all the time. He had his own life to live, and I was in no way a part of it.

"Hey, it's okay. We can handle this. I've got you," he said hugging me.

I realized that even if he was lying, I would have to handle this. I had to make the best of the mess I had made. I would have to deal with all the criticism and ridicule at school, even if I was doing it alone. I wanted to trust him, but I knew I had to be careful. He had hurt me once, and I figured he was fully capable of doing it again.