Disclaimer: I do NOT own Elimidate, or Naruto. This would explain why this is a FAN fiction.

Note: I did not put Sasuke, because the bachelorette will be the one to vote out the candidates, therefore giving him an automatic win.

Italics after statements mean thinking.

Elimidate: Konoha Edition!

A masked emcee stepped up to the camera.

"Yo! Hatake Kakashi here, your official host for the Konoha edition of Elimidate!" he said. "Welcome to the show!"

(audience claps)

"For starters, here are the rules! The bachelorette will have to choose which guy to eliminate after each event. That simple!"

"And now, to introduce our (ehem) esteemed bachelorette. . . ."

(drumroll, please!)

"Haruno Sakura-chan!"

(audience claps)

A pretty pink-haired girl stepped into the line of view.

"Now, Sakura-chan," said Kakashi. "Please introduce yourself."

"Hi, I'm Haruno Sakura. I'm thirteen, and I'm in ninja cell team seven, under Hatake Kakashi-sensei over there with the microphone. My hobbies include practicing jutsus, hanging out with my friends, scolding Naruto-"

There was much laughter backstage as a certain blue-eyed, orange-clad shinobi fought himself to keep quiet.

"And. . . . Um, joining a certain fanclub. . ." continued Sakura.

Several dozen Sasuke fans and Sakura supporters cheered.

"Now, we're done with the introductions!" said Kakashi. "Today's Elimidate will take place at Konoha's annual carnival. And now, for the suitors!"

"Introdicing bachelor number one. . ."

"Please be Sasuke, please be Sasuke, please be Sasuke. . ." said inner Sakura.

"Nara Shikamaru!'"

"What!" said Inner Sakura.

Shikamaru POV one week ago

"Mendokuse. . ." I thought, when I heard of that Elimidate thing.

"Oi, Shikamaru, don't you think this has been going on for too long?" said Chouji.

"What, your eating?"

"No, your unrequited love for Ino."

I spat out the tea I was drinking.

"Who the heck told you that!"

Chouji looked at his lost cause of a friend.

"Don't forget, I'm a ninja too. I notice that whenever she smiles at you, you get a funny look on your face. When you two spar together you always let her win. You always help her on her Sasuke stalking schemes and you go to her family's flower shop often even though your mom tells you that once a week is enough to go buy the garden fertilizer."

"I THOUGHT I was being too obvious." I replied.

"Speaking of which, Sakura-san is joining that Elimidate thing, and you know how close she is to Ino. You think that maybe Ino'd get jealous seeing you with another guy?" said Chouji.

"Leave the genius thinking to me, Chouji." I said, resuming my cloud watching.

Later. . . . . .

"Taku, why am I even doing this. . ." I said, who had stepped out of the TV broadcasting station's office to register for Elimidate. I was really surprised to find Chouji outside, waiting for me.

"For Ino. And you'd better make sure you do your best, Neji says he saw Sasuke hanging around the area earlier."

I raised my eyebrows in surprise.

"Sasuke? I thought he wasn't interested in that sort of thing. . ."

"That's what Neji said." said Chouji. "Well, good luck, Shikamaru-kun." He patted me on the back.

Sometimes, I remember that under several layers of fat lies my best friend.

Shikamaru stepped to the stage, in the designated area where the bachelors were supposed to stand.

"Meh. . . . ." thought Sakura. "Why HIM of all people? At least it's not-"

"Next bachelor! Rock Lee!" said Kakashi into the mike.

"Me and my big mouth. . . ." thought Sakura.

Lee smiled to the audience and posed.

(Cue audience sweatdrop.)

Lee POV three days before

"Gai-sensei!" said Lee, showing his beloved sensei an Elimidate flyer.

"What's this? A dating show?" read the sensei. "How YOUTHFUL!"

"And Sakura-san's joined it!" said Lee. "What should I do, Gai-sensei?"

"Follow your heart, Lee! You must do all possible to achieve your goal!"

"So I should join?"

"Do your best in the name of youth, Lee! You must, while you are in the springtime of youth!'

"Gai-sensei!"

"Lee!"

(Cue instant sunset background)

Across the training area. . . .

"Those two are at it again. . ." said Tenten.

"Must be destiny." said Neji. Tenten, of course, was unaware of what Neji had done several days before. . . .

"Lee AND Shikamaru? I just hope Sasuke's here. . . . ." thought Sakura.

"Next bachelor! Hyuuga Neji!"

Now it wasn't just Sakura that was shocked.

"NEJI! My eternal rival?" said Lee.

"Hmph. Lee. So you're here as well?" said Neji.

"Are you here to win Sakura-san over?" said Shikamaru. So that's why Chouji saw him. . .

"NO WAY AM I LETTING YOU HAVE SAKURA-CHAN!" shouted Naruto, running into view.

"Oh well, fourth bachelor, Uzumaki Naruto." said Kakashi. Only in Konoha. . . .

"So that's four bachelors in total. . . And no Sasuke in sight. . ." said Sakura to herself. "This is bad. . ."

"All of you, you'd better show up at the carnival tomorrow ok? That's when the official date will begin." said Kakashi backstage.

Sakura felt slightly nauseous.

"This is DEFINITELY not my idea of a dream date. . ."

Should I continue? Well? Tell me if you have any ideas! –chuunin alchemist