Written in one sitting. There wasn't a pre-writing meditation, or even the glimmer of an idea, I just started typing, and off it went on its own little lonesome. Title came post-conception, as did this Author's note. The end? Well, it's meant to be ambiguous.
God, I hate new format. Well, you were going to get a witty and explanatory author's note at the end, but then was all, "what? no! you can't have SPACE or FORMATTING iin your writing! That's just not on." So now you get a complaint from a slightly bitter author, and also a tidbit that I forgot until now (god I've been out of the game): I don't own Harry Potter.
Interjection
Once upon a time, it wouldn't have mattered, he knows. Once upon a time, Harry would have been able to look at Hermione and say, "oh." And that would be all. But it's different now, so much so, and he doesn't quite know how to handle it.
Hermione feels none of this. For her, the "oh" has come and gone, even though Harry has said nothing. It was so expected it is almost as though it has already been uttered, though he is sure that he didn't. He thinks he didn't. It's hard to tell sometimes, because his brain and body parts are so used to doing what people expect that sometimes they function on their own.
Hermione is talking about something else, now. He isn't really listening, but that's okay, because she doesn't expect him to (that word again, expect, maybe he should listen just to surprise her), and if he did it would probably (ironically) make her think that something was wrong.
She looks different, like she did that one time when she cut her hair and it took him and Ron two weeks to figure it out. Ron. Ron was the one who figured it out in the end, and how would Harry manage now?
"Oh."
Hermione looks at him strangely. The "oh." It came too late. What was it about? What was it for, what is supposed to mean?
"Harry?"
"Oh."
His eyes hurt. Or not hurt, perhaps, they just sting. He remembers this feeling, and how it happened, and what it led to, but since that sort of thing just doesn't happen anymore naturally it can't be happening now.
"Oh."
"Harry?"
He looks at her. Ah, of course. How could he not have seen it before? It's her eyebrow, she's pierced it, yet another thing shot through her body as an apology for all the others that missed. It doesn't become her, but then again, none of the others have either, so he's not surprised. He's actually crying now, no denying it, there's water all over the place.
"Oh."
"Harry! Harry, can you - "
The water is so deep. It's not red, which is a novel experience these days. It's been a while since there's been an abundance of liquid that is not red. For that matter, it's been a while since he could look at water and not imagine it to be red. How long has he been here?
" - hear me? Harry, look at me, really at me, it's Hermione, do you know me?"
"Oh."
Why does he keep saying that? There was a reason. If he backs up enough he'll know why, but even as his mind starts backtracking (you have to know where it started to know how it'll go, because history repeats itself and you don't want to fight the same battles twice you understand) he realizes that maybe he doesn't want to know why his mouth keeps saying that, and why his eyes are stinging, and why the water is everywhere. But the water isn't red. That's important isn't it? He should find out why. So he backs up.
"Harry! Harry, no, what are you doing, oh, Harry, what on earth are you doing? Get away from there, Harry!"
As he backs up, he remembers. He remembers, first, why he should be saying "oh" (because enough people have died that he has gotten used to it and it just doesn't phase him anymore, just when Ron died and only for a minute, which isn't healthy because that was his best friend and life shouldn't keep going after that, except that it did). Then, as he backs up even further -
"Harry!"
- he
remembers why he shouldn't be saying oh (because this was so much
more monumental than an oh, it deserves an oh god and a couple of
whys and maybe even a please no). The water is everywhere, now, even
on Hermione who is just far away enough. He feels a distant, familiar
tingle but it is removed from him, and besides magic never did
anybody any good it
don't be stupid, Potter, magic is
everything.
and now he remembers why this "oh" is so
special, and who is so special, and as he backs up even more, he
remembers blonde hair and happier times when the water wasn't red and
when there were five fingers on each hand and the sun rose every day
like it was supposed to, rather than hiding behind the dust and dirt
and ash of a war that should never have existed. And he remembers
kisses, even under the ash and dirt, even without five fingers, and
once when the water was red.
We've managed to round up most of
them, did I tell you that, Harry? There was one last group that put
up a pretty good fight, Malfoy and Dennison got killed, but
And
suddenly, there's nothing behind him to put his foot on. He falls,
the magic that he fought for and against and with tingles against the
water that is suddenly only on his face. He falls, and as he falls he
remembers.
"Oh."
