Haruka's Duty and Haruka's Heart
Silas C.
The Faithful Series
One Shot - Usagi is just a friend.
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Disclaimer: Apparently the tabloids were wrong - I'm not the owner of Sailor Moon! In fact, Naoko Takeuchi is the owner of Sailor Moon.
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Summary: One shot. Sometimes it's a hard choice between duty and matters of the heart.
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Author's Note: This was simply sitting on my computer for a while, like everything else, only this one was pretty much set out to be a one-shot and I never published it. I'm not a big fan of Usagi x Haruka fics but recently I received a SM comic for x-mas and inside was a scene of Haruka & Usagi in the park. It was a bit scandalous if ya ask me. Anyways, this is my interpretation of what happened before it.
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Second A/N: This is the dialogue that happens in the comic. The rest is my interpretation of it. If anyone REALLY wants to see this comic I suppose I can scan the scene in which this happens. From Sailor Moon Comic #24. English Text © Mixx Entertainment Inc. Original Japanese version © 1994 Kodansha Ltd. And Naoko Takeuchi -
(Usagi is sitting on a bench thinking "Darien's late", about the weather and about Sailor Neptune and Uranus when she feels hands around her eyes. She is surprised to see that it's Haruka.)
Haruka - Quit hanging around my way home. I'll eat you up. (starts to walk away)
Usagi - Wait! Sailor Uranus! (Haruka turns around) You're Uranus, aren't you, Haruka? You both smell like the wind. You're our allies, aren't you? You're Sailor Scouts, just like us, right? Why won't you tell us anything? (Haruka is thinking "If I could… I would have like to have seen you like this without you knowing…")
Haruka - As Bunny… (Haruka tilts Usagi's head upwards and leans in)
Usagi - And Haruka … (pause) Haruka… are you a guy… or a girl? (Usagi is thinking "guy or girl…" as the two touch noses, almost about to kiss, Usagi is thinking "Is that so important?")
Mamoru - "Bun!" (As he comes out of nowhere to meet her)
Haruka - And the Prince arrives. (Haruka takes off, Usagi stands up)
Mamoru - "Bun?!" (pulls Usagi into an embrace) What's wrong? Did he do something to you?
Usagi - No… (starts crying)… that's not it … that's not… (Usagi is thinking " Why am I crying? It hurts…)
End of Scene
So anyways, what I've written here is sort of like what could of happened before that. And if anyone else is concerned about my mistakes, that's fine, only give me a way to contact you. I don't consider critique a flame but if I am confused about what parts you see 'terribly written' then I would ask that you kindly PM or something along those lines. You don't have to though. The next part is the start of my fic, sorry for keeping you.
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Michiru had been watching Haruka intently, though she concealed her attentiveness well as she pretended to read an article from the newspaper. It had been twenty minutes since Haruka had received a call from their Princess, twenty, long painful minutes. Normally, calls for the tall blonde never bothered her until lately. She had suspected that the regularity of Usagi's calls wasn't simply friendship based; there was more to it than met the eye.
What first led Michiru to this conclusion was the strange behavior that Haruka possessed after receiving a call each day. Michiru wasn't blind but Haruka must have thought she was. It was hard for anyone to miss the peculiarity that the blonde demonstrated. Often times she would be quiet for hours on end, refusing to have a decent conversation. Or, she would fall into deep thought constantly, seemingly ignoring her partner for the time that she was in a daze. It was impossible to reach Haruka after one of Usagi's calls. It got to the point that Michiru would think of ways for the two to not speak over the phone but, Michiru could never deny Usagi the right to speak to her guardian. Never. Usagi was their Princess and both of them held obligations to her.
There was always the mystery of why. Up until a month ago, the two rarely spoke. In fact, Haruka and Usagi never spoke. If anything it was Michiru that maintained the bond between the Inners and the Outers; it was Michiru who contacted Usagi and vice versa. There were quite a few things that could be said about the current situation. Michiru didn't like the fact that she was being shafted as the peacemaker between the two. She also didn't like the special attention Usagi had been giving Haruka. The thought of the two made her cringe in ways that she didn't know were possible. Granted, Haruka had already professed her love to Michiru but with one hand, Usagi could make all of that disappear. Usagi had ultimate control over their lives as senshi. As if that didn't make Michiru completely powerless against her Princess, Usagi was now invading their personal lives by calling Haruka without need.
Sometimes Michiru would come up with a brilliant idea to speak with Haruka about it, but the idea was immediately shut down in the depths of her own mind; Usagi was never the kind of person to intentionally hurt anyone. That's why Michiru didn't understand every angle of the story that was now unraveling. If Usagi was as innocent as she had always been, then why was Michiru's instincts making themselves more and more known as the days passed by? It alarmed her to think that she could lose Haruka to Usagi and be utterly helpless. This possibility was becoming more and more realistic every time Haruka picked up the phone.
"Nani kangaeten-no?" (What's on your mind?) Haruka asked, softly.
Michiru was brought out of her thoughts as she felt the blonde kneel before her, resting her arms in her lap. It surprised Michiru to see Haruka had come out of her daily daze but it irritated her knowing that she shouldn't have been in one to begin with. It was almost as if an attentive Haruka was a luxury these days: a luxury that she was no longer being spared.
"Nani-mo." (Nothing) Michiru replied as softly as her lover had. Haruka looked at her skeptically, obviously not believing a word she had said. Had it been that evident that Michiru was lying? "Kangae-goto shiteta." (I was just thinking) Haruka wanted to delve further into the topic but the way in which Michiru responded meant that she had no intentions of explaining what she had been so deep in thought about.
"You don't have any plans tonight, do you?" Haruka had been worried about Michiru lately. There seemed to be a growing gap between them, one that she was reluctant to submit to but, was powerless to control. It was on a desperate note that Haruka felt the should two spend some time together. Michiru shook her head, indicating that her schedule was free. "Then, would you go on a date with me?" Michiru smiled warmly and nodded. "Perfect. Tonight we'll spend some time together."
Michiru was relieved to hear that Haruka was at least attempting to maintain their relationship. It could only mean that the blonde truly did care for her as she had stated so many times. Haruka stood up and kissed Michiru on the forehead as a sign of affection and then walked into the other room. It didn't solve any of her problems but it sure alleviated some of the pressure of Michiru's shoulders; the aqua-haired girl didn't want to be reminded of how fast she could lose the blonde - it was a thought that she couldn't fathom comprehending.
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Haruka glanced at her watch as she heard the phone started ringing. 'Who could be calling now?' The blonde had been waiting for Michiru to come out of the bathroom for a half an hour already. She didn't mind waiting though, it only intensified her desire to hold her lover even more. Haruka picked up the phone in a rather rough manner, not caring as to who the caller actually was.
"Yeah?"
"Uh-"
"Usagi-san?" Haruka swallowed hard. Why was the Princess calling her yet again, for the second time in today? These calls only meant trouble for her and it was a trouble that wasn't worth the risk. "What's going on?" Haruka asked quietly. The blonde heard sobs on the other line and dreaded what was coming next. "Usagi-san, what's wrong?"
"I have to see you." Usagi whispered, trying to contain her blubber to a minimum. "Please, meet me at the park. I'll be sitting at a bench."
"Usagi-san, I can't do this right now. I have a date with Michiru." Haruka rested her head on the wall, torn between what was her duty as Usagi's guardian and what was her duty as Michiru's girlfriend; only one of them was vital to her existence though. The blonde heard more sobbing on the other line. Why couldn't Usagi call someone else? Why did she insist on continuously calling her? "Usagi-san, please stop crying."
"I'll be at the park. If you come, then you will see me. If you don't, then I suppose you won't." Usagi hung up the phone abruptly, leaving Haruka in sticky situation.
"Ruka, who was on the phone?" Michiru came out of the bathroom, drying her hair with a towel. Haruka glanced over at her lover, feeling a welcomed desire build within her heart. She whisked Michiru off of her feet and planted kisses all over her sweet smelling skin. Michiru giggled as they twirled for a few moments before Haruka set her down.
"You don't know how much I love you." Haruka admitted to Michiru, running a hand down her cheek. The blonde felt a sharp pang of guilt wash over her and she briefly looked at the phone. Thoughts of Usagi helpless and alone in a dark park at night were starting to gnaw at her. Why did Usagi choose her of all people? Knowing the klutz, she was probably the only one she called before she took off running out of her house. Haruka was probably her only chance of safety in the cruel world they lived in. The blonde felt Michiru pull away suddenly and she averted her eyes back to her girlfriend. "Are you okay?" Haruka asked, not sure of what had caused Michiru's break of their intimate moment.
"Who called?" Michiru had seen Haruka glance over at the phone and the way she had been looking at it, tore Michiru up on the inside. She didn't need to ask, she already knew. Their Princess had called, only this time, Michiru's instincts told her that she didn't call to chat.
Haruka lowered her head in defeat. "Buns head." The blonde hated the way Michiru was looking at her as she was now. It made her feel like they were having a secret affair, only it was not-so-secret in Michiru's eyes. "She called me crying." Haruka explained with a hint of hope in her eyes. "She wanted me to meet her-"
"Then go to her." Michiru cut Haruka off and headed back into the bathroom. "You have an obligation. She called you." Haruka went to stop Michiru from locking the door but it was too late. She didn't want to go. But what if she was responsible for not coming to Usagi's aid? Then surely the other scouts would blame her if anything were to happen, although she cared very little for what they had to say. What she cared most about was Michiru and now it seemed like she was pushing the woman away.
"Michiru, I'll be back." Haruka muttered, very, very, bitterly. If Usagi wasn't in danger, she was going to put her Princess in danger for making her come all the way out to the park to meet her.
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It was cold and windy, but more than that, it was dark. The moon light shone down upon the park; it was a light that illuminated most everything, eliminating any shrouds of darkness in its way. Haruka briefly looked over what she had been wearing when she felt her tie trying to break away from her suit. She had still been wearing her school uniform; her jacket had been fully unbuttoned, revealing a pressed, collared shirt and a very unruly tie.
The wind was stronger than it normally was and it brought an inexplicable interest to the blonde. Only when new enemies made themselves present did she feel a wind such as now. Did this mean a new enemy? It sure didn't feel like it but, she knew the wind was trying to tell her something. This much was evident in its behavior over the past twenty minutes: it went from being calm before she had left her apartment to practically trying to sweep her off her feet when she arrived at the park. Haruka sighed as she spotted a young woman sitting at a bench with her back to her.
As much as the blonde had wanted to be angry with her Princess, she simply couldn't hold a grudge for very long. Usagi was too sweet, too innocent and much too cute for her to be able to maintain her anger for the girl. Haruka approached Usagi from behind and hesitated. This could all end now, she could turn around and walk home; there was no need for her to be here, there was no point. Usagi looked to be fine. Haruka noticed the younger girl had been shivering and suddenly disregarded all negative thoughts for the Princess. It bothered her to see Usagi quivering due to the chilliness; it was strange how Haruka's instincts immediately wanted her to put something over the girl, to shield her from the cold. But instead, Haruka opted to do something less chivalric; the blonde quietly placed her hands over Usagi's eyes and waited.
Usagi wasn't surprised, nor did she jump in freight. She was almost positive the hands over her eyes belonged to none other than Haruka. With a gentle touch, Usagi pulled the hands from her face and turned around to see Haruka. The blonde said very little and in fact, she seemed to be questioning her with those studious green eyes.
"Arigato." Usagi whispered. "Haruka-san, I wasn't sure if you would come." A certain fear arose with the smaller girl's eyes. "I was afraid that you would ignore me."
"I wanted to." Haruka admitted, a bit angry at the whole situation. Usagi didn't seem to be phased by the taller woman's words. "There's no reason for me coming, is there?" Haruka asked as she noticed Usagi hadn't offered an explanation to the questions she hadn't verbalized. "Usagi-san, you have to stop calling me. You brought me here for nothing and now Michiru…" Haruka took a deep breath and decided that it was time to leave. All of this effort to meet Usagi was for nothing which was something she had already presumed.
"Haruka, wait."
The sandy-haired blonde turned around, surprised to hear that Usagi had dropped the honorifics. Haruka was infuriated more than anything else but the way in which buns-head had said it had brought shivers to her back. It wasn't an honest mistake. Usagi had meant to drop the honorifics; she had meant to sound intimate. Haruka wanted to scream. A part of her wanted so bad to walk away. She wanted to be with Michiru right now. She didn't want to be with Usagi. And, another part of her, fueled by the desire to serve her Princess, wanted to stay. What was so drawing about Usagi that Haruka couldn't turn away? What was in Usagi's tone that had caught her off-guard and caused her heart beat to skip a few? Haruka gritted her teeth; she felt like she had been taken along for a joy ride that was painfully turning into a misery ride. The blonde headed back to Usagi but trudged her feet in doing so. It was like Usagi had a leash around her neck and all she had to do was tug it.
"Do you love Michiru?"
Out of sheer anger, the sandy haired blonde stood and leaned over Usagi attempting to intimidate her. Instead of being frightened as she had hoped, Usagi tilted her head up and stared into Haruka's eyes. For a moment, the taller girl was unsettled by the Princess' behavior but the tension was soon replaced by intrigue as Usagi looked at her with a longing expression. Haruka felt herself being drawn into suspense as she gradually leaned further in to meet Usagi at a mark. The two stopped when their noses nearly touched. Haruka didn't wish to go any further, as much as she was intrigued.
"Haruka, I wish I would have known you before… as Haruka."
"…and as Usagi." Haruka finished her sentence for she too, found herself pondering what it would have been like if neither of them had met their respective partners. What would their relationship be like now? Both of them remained frozen as if time had stopped solely for them, for this moment when they were close enough to reach out and satiate their desires.
"Usako?"
Haruka heard the familiar voice of Mamoru, Usagi's love. A small smile formed upon her lips and she was suddenly very grateful that he had shown up. "Ah, the Prince has arrived." Haruka pulled away, leaving Usagi with tears in her eyes. It was time for her to leave. It was time for her to stop making these stupid trips. Seeing Usagi was a waste of time and effort, even if it sparked a strange desire within her. If she wasn't careful, she would some decisions that she didn't particularly want to make. Haruka took off running towards her bike: the one place she could think with clarity.
"Did she hurt you?" Mamoru took Usagi into his arms, watching the blonde run off in a rather hasty manner. A part of him was seething with jealously; all he wanted to do was to confront Haruka and settle whatever it was she was trying to do with his girlfriend. There was no one that could take his place and there was no one that could take his love.
"No…" Usagi sobbed quietly as she rested her head in Mamoru's shoulder. "I don't know why I'm crying." Mamoru was astonished to find that it wasn't something that Haruka had done directly to hurt her… it was more of something she had done indirectly, something that would be harder for him to understand. But it didn't matter to him as to how she hurt Usagi, all that really remained on his mind were feelings of jealousy. If he had been seeing correctly, the two of them had almost kissed.
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