It had been about a week since the accident, and my mood was at the lowest it had ever been. I kept myself hidden away in my Hive, declining all offers and reasons for going outside as much as I could. Until one day, when Gamzee showed up and refused to take no for an answer and made me come with him to his Hive.
"No more sittin' around feelin' sorry for yourself, Tav bro. We're going to celebrate!" Gamzee, in his normal happy-go-lucky tone said as he brought me into his room.
"C-celebrate...? But why, what for?"
"For you being alive, it being a great day, and for you not being entirely broken. I mean...you aren't completely broken down there...are you?" His eyes flicked down to my waist, and I immediately turned bright red.
"N-no, I'm not uh...completely broken...down there..." ...why did he have to say things like that, let alone think them?
"See? That's perfect reason to be happy! Now come take a seat in the horn pile and get your mother fucking chill on" Without warning he picked me up and placed me in the middle of a huge pile of horns that had been constructed near the middle of his room. A few of them honked loudly as I adjusted myself into a more comfortable position, making me jump.
"I do that to myself all the time man" Gamzee chuckled lightly as he looked down at me "now hang tight, I'm gunna grab some pie and a bottle of the Wicked Elixir and we'll get this mother fucking party on the road"
"O-okay" He shot me a smile before leaving the room to grab the snacks. I felt a little bit uneasy being left alone in Gamzee's room. Posters of insane looking clowns hung on almost every inch of his walls, making it feel like I was being watched in every direction. How he could sleep in here with those things I would never understand.
"Alright best friend; prepare to get your mother fucking party on!" Gamzee walked in with a green pie in one hand and a bottle of bright green Faygo in the other hand. He set the two items down in front of me and sat down, crossing his legs as he did so.
"Uh, Gamzee...that pie...that really isn't made out of Sopor...is it?" I grew nervous as I looked down at the pie, the contents of which were made out of poisonous slime that filled the cocoons we slept in.
"Hey man, don't diss it til you try it! Just one bite, if you don't like then you don't have to eat it" He dipped a finger into the middle of the pie and lifted it to my mouth. I hesitated, but not wanting to disappoint my friend I opened my mouth wide and ate what was offered to me.
"So...? How's it taste?"
"It's...weirdly...delicious" My eyes went wide almost uncontrollably, making the world around me slowly begin to dance.
"The first bite usually is; just wait til about the fifth or sixth"
The next thing I remember, I was waking up to the morning sunlight and a bit of a headache. Gamzee was nowhere to be seen, but I smelled something like breakfast cooking in the kitchen and decided to go out and see if it was him. Gamzee was standing in front of the counter next to the oven mixing something in a large bowl. He stood there in nothing but his black and gray polka dotted pants, hanging just low enough to show off his favorite pair of purple boxers. He had pulled his hair back into a ponytail, surprisingly looking really nice on him.
"Hey, morning bro" he greeted in a rather pleasant mood "you hungry? I'm making pancakes"
"Uh, yeah. Pancakes sound really good" I returned a smile, though my head felt like it had split in two from the simple act.
"Hey Gamzee...do you remember what happened last night...?" He looked up at me briefly before turning his attention back to cooking.
"Sorry bro. Memory's kinda shot due to the slime" I frowned and looked away.
"I can't seem to remember anything either..."
"Well, if we can't remember anything, then it must not have been too important. Why don't you go sit at the table? Grub's done" I figured he was right, and made my way to the table where a chair had already been removed for me.
"I hope you like Blueberries. I kinda went wild with them and put a lot in"
"It's fine, I actually really like fruit in my pancakes" The food smelled and looked wonderful, which was a pleasant surprise. I knew he could cook pies, but I never knew he could cook anything else...and make it look so good!
We ate in silence for a few minutes, until Gamzee set his fork down on his plate with a loud clank.
"Hey Tav...I have a confession to make" I stopped eating as well and looked to him curiously.
"Something did happen last night, and I remember it all"
"Wh-what...do you mean? What happened?" His expression turned serious as he looked away from me. With that, I began to get scared; I never see him serious unless something awful is about to or has already happened.
"Tav...we..." he paused to take a breath "we sort of...made out"
"Uh, you mean like...we kissed...?" He shook his head.
"No Tav; it was more than just kissing" This time he looked up at me, and almost all at once I began to see snippets of last night play out in my head at a quick succession. He was right...we did a lot more than just kiss...so much more than that...
"Oh...oh GOG" I couldn't look at him at anymore, let alone stay there "I...I have to go..." I turned to begin to leave, but Gamzee was right in front of me within seconds.
"No wait, hang on Tav"
"W-why should I? This is all your fault!"
"My fault?"
"It was your stupid idea to eat that poisoned pie, and look where that got us. You drugged me! You drugged me, and then we...we..."
"It's as much your fault as it is mine. You were the one who agreed to eat it; you could have said no. Besides, things like this happen all the time. You know how many people start making out with others and blame it on something like that, but in actuality one of them secretly liked the other or they both liked each other but were too afraid to admit it and find it easier to blame it on something?"
"What...are you trying to say...?"
"That, maybe...somewhere deep down we could feel red for each other. I don't think it was all the Sopor's fault, maybe it just gave us the courage to go and do something like that"
"R-red? You think I feel red for you...?" For some reason, my heart started beating faster against my chest.
"Well...it's a possibility. I'm not saying you do, but...have you ever thought about it?"
"G-Gamzee...I like you as a friend, as a best friend, but...I don't know...I've never thought about that before..."
"Alright, I have an idea; close your eyes"
"Uh...why?" I sat helplessly as Gamzee placed his hands on the armrests of my wheelchair and leaned closer to me.
"Just, trust me. If this doesn't work, then we'll never talk about this or what happened last night again, okay?"
"Um...okay" I took a deep breath to steady my nerves as I closed my eyes. Not even a moment later I felt his lips on mine, felt this weird electricity shoot throughout my body. He tasted like Blueberry Pancakes and Grape Faygo. It was kind of...intoxicating. I couldn't help but press my lips closer to his, like I needed the kiss to be deeper, to be able to be closer to him.
He broke the kiss a few seconds later, practically leaving me breathless. We could only look at each other for some time; neither of us had the breath or words to say anything.
"So...what did you feel? Anythin' red...?" Gamzee asked in a soft tone.
"W-well...I...I...um..." I was stuttering more then usual, and it was embarrassing me.
"Yeah, I think I do. I think you're right! Gamzee, I DO feel red for you! I was just too shy to say anything, but now I can! Gamzee, I love-" That thought screamed itself in my mind, and I was quick to shut it up before it finished. Luckily I didn't say anything, just sat there and looked at Gamzee with a heavy blush on my cheeks.
"I...dunno" I quickly said, turning my head away from him a moment later.
"Okay buddy. I'll give you time and space, won't bring this up again til you're ready" He sighed softly as he put his hand on my head, gently ruffling my hair.
"Alright...th-thanks Gamz"
A few months had gone by since that day, and I couldn't stop thinking about what had happened, or what we had talked about. He said he wouldn't bring it up again til I was ready, which he had kept his word and never mentioned anything about. Since I haven't been able to stop thinking about it, maybe...maybe it's time I tell him what I really think and feel.
My mind was made up; in just a few hours I would go to his house, talk to him about it, and maybe...well, I don't know what will happen after that, but I sort of can't wait to find out. I took some time to calm my nerves, practice what I would say, and made sure I looked my best. Oddly, doing all of this was helping me to gain confidence, and by the time I left my Hive I felt like I could take on the world.
I took a few deep breaths as I approached the front door to Gamzee's Hive, quickly knocking on the door and immediately began to re-practice everything I had thought out early that day. The door opened a minute later, but it wasn't Gamzee standing in front of me.
"What the hell do you want?" It was...Karkat? What was he doing here? And way was he wearing nothing but a towel around his waist...?
"Um...is Gamzee home...?"
"Yeah, he's upstairs probably getting dressed"
"C-can...I come in...? I need to...uh...talk to him about, something"
"Sure, I guess" Karkat opened the door, glaring at me as though I had done something wrong "wait here, I'll go get him" I nodded and watched Karkat run up the stairs.
My nerves were beginning to falter the longer I sat there, trying to remember what all I wanted to say, trying to figure out why Karkat was in Gamzee's hive practically naked...
"Hey Tav bro, what's up?" Gamzee greeted me as he came downstairs, drying his hair while he walked.
"Hey Gamzee, I just wanted to tell you something"
"Tell me something?" He sat down on the couch in front of me, a soft look on his face like usual.
"Um, well...can we talk in private?" I looked to the stairs, making sure Karkat wasn't standing there.
"Oh, yeah. Don't worry bout him, he can't hear us.
"Oh...okay. W-well, you see...I wanted to tell you...that I...um...feel r-red...for...you" I barely managed to choke out the words, feeling nervous and embarrassed to the point of almost passing out. Gamzee took a deep breath and let it out slowly as he reached for my hand.
"Tav...look bro, I'm really sorry, but-"
"Oh Gog...please don't tell me..." I squeezed his hand and looked at him with pleading eyes. I didn't want to hear what he had to say; there were clues slapping me in the face the moment I saw the door opening.
"I didn't know if you'd ever return my feelings, and I didn't want to make you feel uncomfortable or hate me, so...I figured I'd drop it, and just stay your friend" He smiled lightly at me, which made things worse.
"Gamzee, you inconsiderate jerk!" I looked away from him, desperately trying to choke back the tears that were threatening to come "I haven't been able to stop thinking about you and what happened that night for the past two months! Then, when I finally have the courage to come and tell you about my feelings, you shoot me down!"
"Tav, it's not like I wanted any of this to happen. You should have...spoken up sooner" He sighed and pulled away from me, the smile on his face turning into a frown.
"So, it's my fault?"
"No Tav, that's not what I meant"
"That's what it sounded like. You've always been like this Gamzee; so absent-minded and indecisive about practically everything. It's...getting really tiring being around you" My eyes were burning with tears, but I didn't care if they fell.
"Tavros, look-"
"No Gamzee, we're done...it's over. You and Karkat...take care" I smiled faintly as I looked up at him, trying my best to show him I was fine and happy with everything. Gamzee walked me to the door in an awkward silence, hesitating to open the door.
"Are we...still friends at least?" He asked in a small yet hopeful tone.
"I...I dunno. Look, just give me sometime alone, okay?" He nodded and opened the door for me.
"You take care Tav bro. Don't you all up and disappear on me, you hear?"
"Yeah Gamz, don't worry, I won't" I waved at him before leaving as a sign of a friendly gesture, but I never bothered to look back after that.
During the trip back to my Hive, I couldn't help but to get angry. I couldn't believe the outcome of this day. I wanted to scream and cry and curse out everything for how hurt it had all made me, but instead I bit my lip and tried to be brave and strong. Gamzee was the one person I didn't ever want to lose as a friend, but after everything that's happened I'm not sure if I can be around him anymore.
Just thinking about him made me want to yell and cry. I think I was starting to hate him, to be honest. Maybe...I'm even beginning to feel...black for him...
