August 14th 2014
This is the beginning of my story. I have been advised from my Uncle Jasper to write down what goes on in my day to day life, that way I can better control my emotions on my own. So my dear friends that is what I am doing. This will be a diary that I will write everything that goes on in a day, no secrets will be hidden. I write this for another reason, a more important reason. I am half vampire and half human and wanted by the Volturi. My family assures me I shall not have any trouble with them, but you never know So I write this for if some reason I pass away, or am killed, before I wish, this will exist for my family and for the love of my life, Jacob Black, to read.
For as long as I can remember there has always been a handful of people that I love dearly in my life. Four faces I know better than the others, my Aunt Rosalie, my father Edward, my mother Bella and Jacob. Yes just Jacob. He's not related to me in anyway but he has been there since the day I was born, I know that for a fact. You see I remember everything since the day I was brought into this world, every emotion, every experience. I have the ability to replay memories in my head as well into other peoples minds. But the most clear memories I have are the ones with Jacob in them. I love my parents unconditionally, more than any daughter could possibly love their parents, but Jacob has more of my heart, another side of it so to speak. I know its wrong, he's practically family, but I cant control these feelings for him. As time went on my feelings for him only grew more, and now they are just barely controllable to the point I cant stand being around him alone.
There are only two people in my family, to my knowledge, that know of my feelings for him, Jasper and Edward. When I try discussing them with them they ignore me and tell me its just a teenage obsession that will pass. But I know they are wrong and that they are hiding something from me.
Well I ranted enough and must go, I can hear my mother calling me from the cottage. Until later.
Ness
Later on August 14th
So when my mother called me in she explained to me that she would be going on a hunting trip with my father and a handful of the rest of the family, and that Jacob would be watching over me. Yes JACOB! I mean I know Im technically only six years old, but Im as mature and I can pass for a seventeen year old. I don't need a babysitter!Well okay, I wouldn't want anyone other than Jacob with me, but I cant handle being alone with him for a day, possibly two! This was a day doomed for failure and humiliation from the very beginning.
So Jacob showed up at the mansion and the family left, Jasper being the last in the house winked at me before leaving. I wish I could read minds, I really don't know why he did that. I was sitting on the couch watching TV, hoping that it would distract me from Jacob, but of course it didn't. As soon as he knew the family was far enough away he sat next to me, closer than normal. My heart began to race faster than a hummingbirds and my body began to tremble. Keep focused Ness I thought over and over in my head.
We sat in silence for a few minutes when all of the sudden The Notebook began to play. Just what I needed! Its not like I wasn't already having enough difficulty just sitting there but then the biggest, sappiest romance movie ever happened to come on! I felt Jacob tense a bit, his hands clenched into fists like he was having difficulty too! But Im positive it was for other reasons. I discreetly looked around for the remote but remembered that I was in the kitchen where Emmett had left it. I then sighed deeply.The movie played on and then it got to the rain scene, where they are kissing. A blast of emotion hit me as I imagined Jacob and I doing that, then snapped out of it. I looked over at him and found he was looking at me too, his eyes filled with want and difficulty, like he was barely hanging onto something.
Our faces were just inches apart and I couldn't hold it any longer. I reached in and kissed him with a little too much want on the lips, not once but twice! Im an idiot! As soon as I released him, I looked at him with shock in my eyes and I jumped up off the couch and ran upstairs to the guest bedroom.I ran into the corner and began to sob. I thought I probably ruined my friendship with him, and I would most likely get my wish of not having a babysitter any more.
It was only a half a minute when Jacob walked into the room, his face saddened. I watched as he slowly walked over to me and sat beside me. I hid my face in my hands, not wanting to look at him any longer, when I felt his warm arm wrap around me and he began to comfort me.
"Ness.." He started, his voice sounded like it was extremely hard for him to get my name out. "please…please don't be sad. You did nothing wrong-"
I cut in, not wanting his comfort, I just wanted the truth! I lifted my head up and stared into his eyes. "I did nothing wrong?!" I hissed. "I kissed you! Twice!" I said a little louder than I wanted. He tightened his arm around me more and smiled.
"Yes exactly, you did nothing wrong." He said softly, I was about to argue but he put his index finger over my lips. "Shh. Don't, just listen." He began, he took a deep breath and took his hand that was currently on my lips and intertwined his fingers with mine "I was going to wait until your birthday in a month to explain things to you but I think now is the perfect time. Ness, I love you…" At those last words he caught my attention and I felt a grin form upon my face, which he mirrored. "Since the second I laid eyes on you, I have loved you. Ive been hiding it from you since then. As the months went by and you became older it became more of a challenge to hide it. It literally drove me mad, but I promised your parents I wouldn't tell you-" I looked at him with horror and didn't let him finish his sentence.
"My parents knew?" I said angrily.
"Everyone knows" He said softly, waiting for me to blow up, which I did.
"What?!" I shouted in disbelief, then got lost for words. "but-how-huh?" Was all I managed to say.Jacob chuckled, he thought I was cute when I was upset
"We've been hiding it from you until we knew you were old enough and mature enough to handle it. Making your own decision on what you wanted." He explained.
I looked up at him and smiled, "What I want is you" I said softly. "Since the moment I laid eyes on you." I explained and Jacobs face radiated with happiness. I can't recall ever seeing him as happy as he was then.
"Your wish is my command" he said softly reaching down and kissed me lightly on the lips, his hand now on the side of my neck. He released slightly but I reached in and kissed him again, this time more patiently. He seemed to like this and deepened the kiss, his tongue lightly touching my bottom lip, asking to be let in. I gladly let him in as he explored my mouth. The feelings I was experiencing were like no other, I could even feel his heart in his chest rapidly beating.
We kissed for what seemed for an eternity. When we were both out of breath he picked me up and placed me on the bed and I instantly cuddled against his body as I slowly drifted off to sleep.
