"Right, okay, no. I can't do this." Haru sheathed her sword and began pacing back and forth in front of her horse.

"We both already knew that," Muta groused as he ignored Haru's pacing. "But uh… if you head home now what's gonna happen when no one from your family shows up to join the army?"

Haru's frantic pacing halted, her shoulders slumped in defeat. "My father gets dragged off to trial for insubordination."

"So wouldn't it be better if you just finished what you started?"

"Ugh," Haru groaned as she put her fingers to the bridge of her nose, "you're right."

"Say it again," Muta purred.

"C'mon, we better hurry up." Haru picked Muta up by the scruff of his neck before swinging up onto her Taro's back, the horse placidly waiting for her to get settled and give him a command.

Haru couldn't help feeling nervous as Taro plodded into camp, it seemed like all the other recruits were just so… manly. Then again, they were all men and not some girl just pretending to be a man so she could join the army. Well, Haru was pretty sure none of them were. She'd never seen any girls pick their toes with a knife before. Finding the sign up wasn't hard, in the very center of camp stood a thin, dour looking man holding a clipboard with several papers attached to it.

"Uh, hello?" Haru called nervously.

"You will get down from that horse before speaking to your superior."

"Oh, right!" Haru scrambled down from Taro's back and stood nervously holding his reins while Muta smirked from Taro's back.

"Summons," the thin man said while holding out an equally thin hand.

"Right, of course, I've got it right here!" Haru reached into her tunic and felt around until she found the conscript her father had brought home but three days ago. She plopped it into the man's hand, who opened it up, flipped through his papers, then marked his paper with a quill that Haru hadn't noticed tucked behind his ear earlier.

"Name?"

"Haru…" her eyes widened as she trailed off. There was a brief moment of sheer panic as the man raising an eyebrow at her. "-ka!" Haru tacked on hurriedly. "Yoshioka Haruka."

"Mmm..." the man responded as he wrote something down. "Go stable your horse and collect a uniform, no need to flout your father's status with that armor, boy."

"Right, sorry..." Haru gently tugged Taro in the direction of the stables. Once out of sight of the thin man, whose name Haru still didn't know, she groaned and slumped against Taro's shoulder. "Well that went spectacularly."

"Better than I expected," Muta said.

"If you're not going to be any help, you can shut your face."

"Wow, he really got to you, Chicky. No need to be so rude, maybe I'll just leave."

"I'm not even sure why you came along."

"To watch the show, of course!"

Haru stuck her tongue out at Muta, then squared her shoulders and marched determinedly towards the stables.


"Hey, Kiddo, wake up!"

"Jus' fi' mo' minuds..." Haru mumbled as she tried to roll over and pull the covers up.

"All the other recruits are all lined up, I think you're late."

"What?" It took less than a minute for Haru to hop out of her tent, still trying to pull her boots on, but it was plain to see she really was late. All the other recruits were lined up as someone walked down the line with the skinny guy from yesterday at their elbow. "Oh no oh no oh no!" She raced to the other recruits, slipping onto the tail end of the line and standing at attention. It seemed to have worked, the group making its way down the line was only halfway to them. Haru peeaked at them and squinted to try and get a better look. "Who is that, anyway?"

"Some noble who's supposed to be in charge of training us," the recruit next to Haru answered.

"A noble?"

"Well, he was introduced with a title."

Haru peeked again, the group only a few soldiers closer, but now she could make out the crisp, pale suit he was wearing and… "Is that a crow on his shoulder?"

"Yeah, either it's a pet or his familiar."

"I vote for familiar," the next guy down said in a low voice.

"Can't be," the first guy responded. "No one would be brave or stupid enough to publicly have a familiar, especially not one of those hoity toity nobles."

"Who better to get away with publicly flaunting a familiar than a noble?"

"Shut up," someone further down the line hissed at them. Everyone immediately stood to attention.

Haru listened as a familiar, if grating, voice called out names one by one. There was no reply from the noble, why were they taking so long if he wasn't saying anything? Eventually they arrived.

"And lastly, Yoshioka Haruka."

"Ah yes," the nobleman said. "Since you missed the introduction: my name is Baron Humbert von Gikkingen, and tardiness will not be tolerated."

"Y-yes sir!" Haru snapped, unsure if she should salute or what. The warmth growing on her face made her sure she was blushing horribly, the titters from her left weren't helping either. What a way to start her training.

"And to help drive the lesson home, you've just volunteered yourself for a little demonstration. Come with me."

"Yes sir," Haru sighed as she followed the nobleman and his flunky to the other end of the line of recruits. Strangely enough the crow on his shoulder took off and flew away. Haru tried to watch it leave but decided it was better to watch where she was going. She didn't need any more mishaps today. The group stopped a few yards from a tall, wooden pillar in the very center of the camp. That's when the crow came back carrying a bow and arrow in his claws.

"Ah, thank you Toto," the baron said with outstretched hands to catch the objects. The crow, Toto she supposed, landed on the baron's shoulder to offer a string held in his beak before moving over to the flunky's shoulder. Neither seemed happy with the arrangement.

With practiced ease the baron quickly strung his bow, notched his arrow, aimed for the top of the pillar, and shot it. The arrow stuck fast right at the top. "Now then, Mr. Yoshioka, climb up there and fetch me that arrow."

Haru swallowed nervously as she looked up and up and up. "All the way up there?"

"I do not believe I misspoke earlier."

Haru took a tentative step up to the pillar and looked up again. "Right, I can do this."

"Not quite yet, you're forgetting the most important part." The baron grabbed Haru's wrist and slipped a sash with a heavy weight dangling from it onto her wrist. Haru barely had time to brace for the weight before he let go and repeated the process with her other wrist. "These represent discipline and determination, without both you can't reach the top."

"I don't think I could reach it either way," Haru muttered. The weights were quite heavy, just carrying them would be a chore.

"Well, get climbing Mr. Yoshioka, we don't have all day."

Haru took a deep breath, then released it slowly. She stepped up to the pillar and put her arms as far around as they could go. Then she drew her legs up and clung to the tree like a small bear. She had climbed lots of trees as a kid, surely this was just the same. She slowly inched up a bit, but the weights unbalanced her and she quickly slid down, it was only her quick reflexes that stopped her from tumbling to the ground altogether, instead she ended up rolling backwards and landing in an awkward crouch.

"Better than I expected, but still a dismal attempt. You can return to the line up now."

Haru's face burned as she handed over the weights. Hopefully the humiliation was done for the day. Fortunately it was, for her at least. It seemed the baron was intent on humiliating every last recruit because he had them all try to climb the pillar one-by-one.

"It seems we have a long way to go. Get some rest, men, we start early tomorrow."

There was a collective sigh from the recruits as the baron walked away.

"Hey, good job not cracking when that guy singled you out," one guy say as he slapped Haru on the back.

"Yeah, if you hadn't gone first I wouldn't have even known how to start climbing that thing," another added as he threw an arm around Haru's shoulders.

"Really?" Haru asked in disbelief. "I mean… it was just like climbing a tree when I was a kid. A very tall, very smooth tree."

"I would never have thought of that, I usually picked trees that had branches close to the ground."

"C'mon, let's go get some grub," the first guy said as the whole group headed towards the mess hall. "My name's Machida by the way."

"And I'm Tsuge."

"Haruka… nice to meet you," she belatedly tacked onto the end.

"We know, I think everyone in camp knows after that display."

"Hey it's Mister Yoshioka!" a passing recruit hollered. "Don't let that fancy pants noble get to ya, you did real good!"

Haru couldn't help the smile that spread across her face, maybe this wouldn't be so bad after all.


Haru groaned from her spot on the ground, her backside aching from its recent abuse and every muscle screaming in a chorus of fire. She didn't even have the energy to wipe the sweat from her brow, she just wanted go to bed and sleep for a hundred years.

"Stand up, Mr. Yoshioka."

Haru groaned again, but did as she was told. She stumbled to her feet and swayed in place, but still she gripped her weapon and held it ready.

"Such sloppy foot work, where's your center of balance? How can you stand tall with your feet akimbo? Not that you're standing tall, recruit."

Haru grunted, then shifted into the stance all the recruits had been shown that morning. Apparently she wasn't fast enough for the baron, he was tapping her legs with his cane. She grit her teeth at the treatment, this nobleman was really getting on her last nerves. Across from Haru her training partner was also shifting his feet about and straightening his posture before he could get the same treatment.

"There, much better. And don't think I didn't notice you, Mr. Morita, keep those feet and posture straight. Just because I am not right next to you is no reason to be lazy with your footwork. The same goes to you, Mr. Golberg." The baron pointed his cane at a recruit a couple sparring partners over and began walking over to him.

"Guess we keep going, then," Morita panted as he held his weapon ready.

"Ugh, fine," Haru grunted in reply as she held up her own weapon. Neither one chose to chat as they sparred, not like when the day had been fresh and this had felt more like play than torture. The playful banter and cocky jokes had died out as the training wore on and the baron still didn't call a halt. Now every recruit was dirty, sweaty, aching, and bone tired.

"I believe that is enough for now, you're all dismissed."

There was a chorus of groans and grunts as most of the recruits collapsed to sit on the ground. Haru, like a few other recruits, was sprawled out flat on her back, one arm flung over her eyes.

"We should probably go get some food or something," Morita said half heartedly as he leaned back on his arms.

"Jus' leave me..." Haru begged as she waved a hand in Morita's general direction.

"That would mean having to get up," Morita replied.

"So are you going to lay there all day whining or am I going to actually get fed at some point?"

Haru shifted her arm so she could look in the direction the familiar voice had come from. Muta was just sitting down right next to her head, she should have known he'd show up as soon as food was an option. Haru rolled her eyes, "Oh all right. Let's go eat then."

"Yeah, I guess we should," Morita replied as he started struggling to his feet.

"Since you're up, mind giving me a lift?" Muta asked as Haru gathered her feet under her.

"You can walk to food just fine by yourself," Haru replied in irritation.

"I never said I couldn't," Morita said in confusion.

"Not you, Muta." Haru pointed to Muta, who only eyed Morita grumpily.

"You know that fatso?"

"Of course, he's my fatso."

"Hey!"

"Why on earth did you bring your cat with you to become a soldier?"

"Honestly, I ask myself that every day."

"Hey! I'm here for moral support! Without me you'd be lost!"

"We're heading to the mess hall now, you coming or what?"

Muta grumbled to himself as he trotted after Haru and the other recruits slowly drifting towards the promise of a warm meal and a cool drink.


"Hey Yoshioka, check it out." Haru looked up from tying her shoes to see Machida pointing diagonally from them as he continued, "Seems fancypants nobleman can wear something besides suits and tall hats."

Haru followed the direction of Machida's hand to see the baron walking towards them wearing clothes very similar to theirs, albeit obviously of a higher quality. "Huh, didn't think it was possible."

"I know, right?"

Haru bent her head again to quickly finish her shoes before they had to fall in. With a muffled yawn, she fell in line with the other recruits and stood at attention as the baron seemed to pick at his clothes.

"All right men, today we're going for a little jog." There were a few scattered murmurs at the baron's announcement, most of which seemed to them wondering what the catch was. "You'll be following me, and stragglers won't be tolerated."

"Wonder what he means by that?" Machida whispered to Haru.

"Better not to be a straggler and find out," Haru replied. Machida nodded, that was a lesson they had learned quickly.

Without any other preamble, the baron started jogging out of the camp. The recruits all scrambled to catch up to him and fell into an easy pace. Haru placed herself right in the center of the group. Jogging was easy, jogging was something she could do.

Haru managed to stay near the center of the group, even as the recruits spread out and the tail end started to lag behind. Eventually the baron lead the group to a large clearing and came to a stop. The clearing was full of various structures, an obvious obstacle course. Not that anyone seemed to notice, most of the recruits unceremoniously fell to the ground and gasped like landed fish. Haru wanted to join them, but chose to simply rest her hands on her knees as she panted, she had a feeling the baron wasn't done with them yet.

"Everybody up, you'll recover faster if you stand straight. Don't hunch, you'll just squish your lungs."

Haru straightened immediately while the others all groaned and clambered to their feet. "I hate it when he's right," the recruit nearest Haru grumbled.

"Isn't he always right?" Tsuge shot right back.

"And here we have today's lucky volunteers," the baron said jovially as the last few stragglers stumbled into the clearing. "You lucky fellows will be the first to run this next course. What we have is a race." The baron went on to explain the route they would be taking and where the start and finish points were. "And of course, I'll be joining you for the first race." With that he stripped off his shirt to show bare chest.

Haru quickly averted her eyes, suddenly finding that shrub to her right very interesting. It was such an interesting shape and had everything to do with her face suddenly growing very warm for no reason at all.

"My, my, you lot look worn out." Haru looked up to see someone handing out water skins to the recruits watching the race. "Your face is positively red, you definitely need some water." He handed Haru a water skin, who could only nod and mumble her thanks as she took the skin. Haru carefully sipped at her water, eyes still averted as she heard the others cheering. With a start she turned her attention back to the race, too late. The baron had already finished and the recruits were all near the end, she hadn't seen the route any of them had taken. Drat, she hoped she wasn't in the next group.

"Alright, for the next group..." the baron singled out another group of stragglers, it seemed he was going in the reverse order of their arrival at the clearing. Good, Haru would be somewhere in the middle. She watched as the racers ran through the obstacle course, memorizing the route they took. Then when the next group went she tilted her head, eyeing the way they tackled the obstacles. Some of them, such as the tall wall with ropes to get over it, were pretty straight forward. Others, like logs spaced to weave over and under, the recruits were obviously tackling in the most inane way. Haru wondered if the baron had run the course like that. Her eyes strayed over to where he was standing by the finish line, then snapped back to the racers. She had forgotten his missing shirt.

"For the next group: Mr. Yoshioka, Mr. Morita..."

Haru handed her water skin over to the nearest person and rolled her shoulders as she stepped up to the starting line with the others in her group. She couldn't help the grin that spread across her face, she was going to turn heads with this run. She ran a pretty standard race with the others until she reached the cargo net set up at a steep angle, rather than try to climb the net she decided to just walk up the supports. She heard several cries of "cheater" behind her but chose to ignore them in favor of finishing the race. She knew she couldn't just walk over the "weaver" portion too, but rather than going feet first and trying to ungulate like a drunk worm she set herself up sideways and quickly wove her way down the incline. She was well ahead of the other racers now, but rather than take it easy she decided to put her all into the rest of the race.

The grid of rings she had to step through and the tall wall slowed her down a bit, the other racers were starting to catch up. That was fine, she knew a faster way down the wall. She kicked off the wall once about half way down and jumped the rest of the way, taking off for the next obstacle before the others had done more than start down the wall. At the monkey bars she decided to just blatantly cheat and climbed on top to walk across, she had no upper body strength and would be dead last if she went across them normally. The balance beams after that were too easy, then just a hop over a short wall and she was across the finish line. The other racers came running up after that, all gasping out accusations of "cheater" as the recruits watching all cheered for her.

"While Mr. Yoshioka's interesting method of running an obstacle course certainly is quicker, anyone else who attempts such stunts will be disqualified and forced to race again. Save for the weaver, Mr. Yoshioka was the only one to display the correct method of traversing that particular obstacle."

"Wait, you mean because he did it first he gets away with it?"

"Mr. Yoshioka has proven himself to be quite clever, that should be rewarded. But in the future I hope you will prove yourself capable of following directions." The baron directed the last sentence at Haru with a rather stern frown.

"I don't recall you giving detailed instructions on exactly how we're supposed to go through the obstacles, baron, sir." Haru couldn't help the cheeky grin she gave him.

"I shall have to be more careful of such oversights in the future."


Haru sat cross legged on the ground, discipline and determination sprawled out on either side of her though still attached to her wrists, one hand supporting a cheek as she stared glumly up and up and up. It was late, the stars were out in all their glory but her eyes were blind to them, her sole focus being the arrow at the top of the pole.

"Still out here?" Machida plopped down next to Haru and looked up as well.

"Yeah," Haru reluctantly agreed with a sigh.

"We should both be in bed, we got an early day tomorrow."

"We have an early day every day."

"All the more reason to go put those things away and head in. C'mon, Yoshioka, being tired won't help anyone."

"Yeah, you're right." Haru slowly climbed to her feet, careful to keep the weights from tangling around each other.

Machida also got to his feet, already facing their sleeping tents. "You coming or what?"

"Yeah I… I just gotta go put these away first." Haru held up one of the weights, then let it drop. Machida was already heading out of sight as she experimentally let the weights twist around each other, then attempted to pull them apart. It couldn't be… Baron didn't like having tricks to things. He was always very straightforward in his instructions, and yet every time she bent the rules she didn't get in trouble. She wasn't allowed to pull the same trick twice, of course, but she still never got in trouble. Was this another situation like that?

Haru stepped up to the tall pole, flung the weights around it so they twisted together, then pulled them tight to test their hold. This could work.

It was in the early predawn light that Baron found Haru at the top of the pole. Or rather, had an arrow throw at his feet. He looked up to find Haru perched at the top of the pole, the weights hung over a shoulder, and a wry smile plastered across her face.

"Mr. Yoshioka, you know the challenge doesn't count if discipline and determination were not attached to your wrists!"

A faint and distant "What?" drifted down from the high pole.

Baron made an exaggerated pointing motion as he shouted, "Come down from there."

Haru shrugged before detangling the weights from each other, putting them back over her wrists, tangling them up again, then slowly worked her way down the pole. She couldn't see his face clearly from so high up, but she liked to imagine the shocked expression he must have on his face. By the time she got down and had re-detangled the weights he had composed his face into something akin to stern disapproval if not for twitch to the corners of his mouth. There was also a growing crowd of recruits gathered around Baron.

"I do believe I have figured out your trick, Baron sir."

"There was not supposed to be a trick, Mr. Yoshioka."

"I suppose then that no one else will be allowed to use my trick," Haru replied glibly with a huge grin spread across her face.

"That was a one time challenge, and well done I must say. In all my years I've never seen anyone solve it quite like that."

"That's because men always think with their muscles instead of their brains." Haru's grin faltered as she realized her slip, "Well… most men. There are a few good thinkers here and there."

Baron raised an eyebrow, but otherwise chose to let the comment pass. "Go put those things away, you've earned a day off." Baron turned to the gathered crowd, "You hear that? Mr. Yoshioka has just earned you lot a day off, you had best thank him."


"I would have liked another week of training, but orders are orders. Start packing up camp, we move out first thing in the morning. Dismissed."

There were murmurs throughout the recruits, now officially trained soldiers in the royal army, at Baron's dismissal. "How bad must the war be going to pull us from training?" "We're not losing, are we?" "I heard the enemy is using the black arts, it's why our side is getting so desperate." "We're in the middle of nowhere with no contact with anyone else, how in the world did you hear any rumors?"

Haru ignored the whispers as she turned and headed for the stables.

The next morning they did break camp and head out. The battalion of fresh soldiers marched to the front lines and spent the next several months fighting for king and country. Haru surprised herself by actually rising in the ranks, her quick wits and fast reflexes proved to be her saving grace time and time again. That is until one fateful day.

"Baron, look out!" Haru shoved Baron out of the way and kept shoving even as a rain of unexpectedly long distance arrows fell around them.

"How in the world… we should have been out of range!" Baron angrily blustered as he performed the motion to raise a shield.

"Must be those new bows we heard rumors about," Haru wheezed as she slumped against Baron.

"Haruka! You're injured!" Baron gently laid Haru on the ground, his shield protecting them from further attacks if only for a short time.

"Only a little," Haru joked with grimace as she clutched at an arrow embedded in her shoulder, her hand coated with her own blood.

"Here, let me have a look at it."

"No!" Haru cried. "No," she said again more softly, "pulling it out will only make me bleed out. Just help me get to a doctor." Or one specific doctor Haru had made friends with when she first went to the front lines. She could trust him with her secret, had been for almost as long as Haru had known him.

"I can do healing magic," Baron chided like reminding a forgetful child as he struggled to unbutton Haru's jacket. "And the sooner we get it out the better, less risk of infection this way."

"Baron, please!" Haru begged as she desperately tried to fend him off with only one hand.

"Stop acting like such a-"

Whatever Baron was about to call Haru was drowned out in an indignant squeak as he pulled open Haru's jacket to reveal the binding around her breasts. Baron's face flushed tomato red as he instantly let the jacket go and turned away. Haru quickly pulled her jacket closed, but couldn't manage the buttons with one hand shaking badly and the other slippery with blood.

"I-I'm so sorry," Baron stuttered out in shock before putting a hand up to his mouth.

"Doctor now?" Haru weakly asked.

"Yes, of course." Baron straightened his back and turned back to help Haru stand. It was difficult with her trying to keep her jacket closed and one hand near useless. "Here, let me just..." Baron tentatively reached for Haru's jacket and hastily did up a couple buttons before finally pulling Haru to her feet. He moved to sling her good arm over his shoulder when Haru recoiled.

"My legs are just fine, just keep that shield up."

"Right, of course." Baron performed the shield motion again knowing it wouldn't affect anything but made him feel better nonetheless. He then attempted to put an arm protectively around Haru's shoulders, causing her to flinch in pain. "Ah, sorry. Camp isn't far."

"I know," Haru growled in frustration. This was exactly what she had been afraid would happen if she was eventually discovered. Well, this and also being kicked out of the army in disgrace and probably going to jail.

The rest of the trip back to camp was made in silence as Haru gripped the arrow in her shoulder and pictured which of the worst case scenarios was most likely to happen. Baron held the flap to the medical tent open for Haru as she ducked inside and made a beeline for the back of the tent.

"Dr. Morgenstern!"

"Oh, Yoshioka! What happened? Come over here, sit down on the bed. Nurse, privacy screen please!"

"Yes doctor!"

Baron dithered near the door for a moment, unsure what he should or even could do, before finally ducking back out into camp.


Haru lay in the dreary cot, tucked away in the far back of the medical tent with a privacy screen up despite not needing it at the moment. She sighed heavily as Dr. Morgenstern wrote down some notes nearby.

"Perhaps he can be persuaded to keep the secret. He might even let you stay in the military, you've proven yourself to be quite capable."

"He's gonna feel hurt and betrayed, especially since he's known me longer than you but you've known longer than him."

The doctor made a noncommittal noise as he finished writing with a flourish. "Well, either way, get some rest. And try not to think about it to hard."

Haru snorted, but nodded before settling in as best she could. Her shoulder hurt terribly, the sling her arm was in was uncomfortable, and the cot was even more uncomfortable but she was tired, so very tired.

When Haru opened her eyes again it was morning and Baron was standing at the edge of her privacy screen. Haru smiled to see her dear friend visiting her, then remembered that he knew her secret now. She blushed and turned her face away from him.

Baron had smiled when Haru had, glad to see her doing better than when he had last seen her, but then she had turned away and his heart had dropped into his stomach.

"So, what's it to be? Quiet dismissal or a full on court marshal?" Haru gripped the course blanket with her good hand as she continued to look away from Baron.

"Neither, if that is what you wish."

Haru looked up in surprise to find that Baron had stepped closer while she wasn't looking. He picked up her good hand and held it to his lips. "A pleasure to finally properly make your acquaintance, Miss Yoshioka."

Haru couldn't help the girlish giggled that bubbled up in her throat. "So the rumors are true, you really are an incorrigible flirt!"


Mommabearsday off on Tumblr asked for a Mulan AU and at first it was fun and I teased her about how tragic a folktale it is and that I was going to go for the bad end. Of course I wasn't really, but then about half way through I suddenly got slammed upside the head with Undertale feels and focusing on anything else has been like pulling teeth and stabbing myself in the eye with a burning poker at the same time and I wish I didn't hyperfocus like this. Augh! Anyway, I finally managed to finish this in fits and starts. It has the worst transition I've ever written in my entire life, and that includes the drivel I wrote at fourteen. But I also super love that ending.

About Mulan, I always wondered just what she was thinking. Obviously her father would not have been a rank and file soldier, as a clear veteran he would have likely done some behind the scenes work like training the new recruits or being an adviser or something. He was probably never in danger of going to the front lines, who would send a crippled old man to the front lines?

Bonus scene taking place shortly before they get called to the front lines below.


"He's just so… so clever Toto! I always think I've laid out all the rules in the clearest way possible and he still some finds a way around them without breaking them. And on his feet too! It doesn't matter if I have him go first or last, he just gets more clever if he goes last. And how can he be so cute? Have you seen the way he smiles?"

"So do something about it," Toto replied as he lazily groomed a wing while Humbert frantically paced to and fro.

"I can't, he's a subordinate and still in training. It would be incredibly unethical to pursue him right now."

"Their training is almost over, do something about it then."

"Okay…" Baron flopped down on his bed next to Toto's roost, then turned to look up at him with big, frightened eyes. "So what do I do?"

"What do you mean 'what do I do'? You know what to do, heavens know you've a reputation for being a flirt back home."

"With the ladies," Baron corrected as if being a flirt was something to be proud of. "How does one flirt with a gentleman? Or for that matter, how does one flirt with a trained soldier? I… Toto… what if he doesn't like me back?"

"Then you move on and go flirt with one of those ladies you're so capable of flirting with."

"Toto, this is serious!"

"I am being serious! If he's not interested in you then you just have to accept it just as much as you would of any lady who's not interested in you. Need I remind you of Louise?"

"Heavens no!" Baron cried, then sunk further into his bed and held his pillow close. "I really thought we could be happy together, arranged marriage or not."

"Perhaps you could have, but isn't it better to let people go than to force them into a relationship they're unhappy with?"

"Yes… you're right old friend. Thank you."

"Good, now enough moping. Don't you have a report to write?"

"I should think you'd be loathe to remind me of it since I know you hate carrying messages back and forth."

"I'm not a carrier pigeon, couldn't you find another way?"

"Not one half so secure my friend."

Toto sighed and ruffled his feathers, "I hate it when you're right."