"How long do you think they'll need you there?" I ask as I try and absorb the words laid out before me. My hands tremble slightly, and I grip the well-formatted letter tightly. His head is down, and he runs his hand through his dark locks.
"I honestly don't know, I mean I'd have to call the guy that's listed on there to see." He shrugs, and I bite my lip. The words keep replaying in my head like a bad dream.
"…you have been asked to join our publishing team stationed in Paris for an internship. We are in love with your writing, and feel you are most adequate for the job…"
It goes on to say that he needs to respond within the next couple of weeks before the job is offered to another person. I look up at him to try and see what he's thinking, but his face is down. I feel like crying, but I know I need to stay calm.
"So, what do you think?" I need to know if he's at least considering it, or if I'm worrying for nothing.
"I…I don't know. I mean, I should do it, right?" His eyes are pleading me to give the answer he's looking for. Do I lie, and tell him that I think he should go? Tell the truth and ask him to stay? I look at him again, and for a spilt second I can see that he wants to go in his eyes; his dream is reeling in his mind, and who am I to stop him from living it? As much as I want to be selfish, I grin and bear it as I push him in the right direction.
"I think you should do it. It will be a great opportunity for you, and possibly get your name out there. You need to do this." My voice is quiet, and he reaches across the table to interlace our fingers together. I still don't even know how long it's going to be. What if I can't handle it?
"Rory, you do know this means we'll have to be a part for a while." He's whispering, and a sniffle escapes from me. I'm still digesting everything. Jess is going to leave, and I will be here, thousands of miles away. I feel moisture slide down my cheek, and I don't bother hiding it anymore. He sees this, and pulls me from my chair onto his lap. "Ror, please don't cry. I won't do it, it's not for sure."
"Jess, no. You have to do this, okay? Don't factor me into your decision. If you don't go, you'll regret it one day and I don't want that. We'll make it work okay?" I wipe my eyes, and give him a slight grin to ease him. He kisses my cheek, and I close my eyes for a second.
"Thank you for being so supportive in this. I'm going to give this guy a call, and ask what the deal is, okay." I nod, and slide back into my chair. He smirks at me before grabbing the letter and heading towards our bedroom where the phone is. I watch him close the door, and pick up my cell phone.
"Hello, Gilmore House of Whores, how may I help you?" I can't help but smile at my mother's crazy antics.
"Hi mom, it's me." I try to sound normal, but I can tell I'm a bit raspy.
"Sweets, it's you! I was hoping it was grandma because she would've had a field day with that greeting."
"I'm sure."
"So, how are you and that hoodlum?"
"You mean my boyfriend?"
"Eh, same thing in your case, so what's up?" I try and find a good way to tell her, but I end up just blurting it out.
"Mom, Jess got an invitation for a publishing Internship at a major company."
"Oh my God! That's great hun!" I smile sadly.
"Yeah, there's great stuff about it, but there's also bad stuff."
"Oh? I thought this was what he wanted, what's not to love?"
"Mom, the company is in Paris, and he has to go there without me." The line is silent for a minute. I can tell she's trying to come up with something comforting to say.
"Baby, I'm sorry. Maybe you could go with him?" I roll my eyes at the suggestion. That was, after all, my first thought.
"Seriously mom, I have a life here. I have a job, and classes, and you!"
"Oh yeah, I figured, but I thought I'd suggest it anyway. So he's definitely doing this?"
"I don't see why he wouldn't, I mean I told him to factor me out, so I guess this means he's going." I turn around and notice that he's opening the door.
"Ok well, if he ends up going you know you always have me, hun." I smile.
"Thanks mom, I gotta go."
"Okay, go do dirty things since you won't be able to for a while. Love you!" She hangs up before I can respond to her insane banter. I hang up the phone, and slough in the chair. He comes up behind me, and rubs my shoulders gently. I stand up so I'm facing him, and just hold onto him.
"So, how long will you be there?" I feel him swallow, and I gently press my lips to his throat. I look in his eyes questioningly.
"9 months, I leave in three weeks, and then I'm back right before your birthday." Nine months. That keeps repeating in my head, and just makes me hold onto him tighter. That's a lot longer than I thought it was going to be. And the fact that I only have three weeks left makes my heart ache.
"I guess we better start preparing then, huh?" I try and stay positive. He silently thanks me by placing a deep kiss on my lips; man I'm going to miss that.
"Thank you for letting me do this, it means a lot to me." I kiss him again.
"I could never stand in the way of your dreams, Jess. I can however write you letters, and talk to you everyday."
"That's a given promise; we won't change while I'm gone."
"It will be as if you never left." He and I sit on the couch just enjoying the silence. He pulls me into him as we both mull over the upcoming weeks, and all I can think about is how I don't want him to leave.
Three weeks later
Tomorrow, he has to leave tomorrow. I'm lying in bed awake at two in the morning trying not to cry as I watch him sleep next to me. I've never been the type to just openly gawk at him, but right now I don't care. I actually don't want to sleep just so I can look at him. I'm going to miss waking up to him holding me, and I'm going to miss how he always sounds so sexy in the morning. His voice is deeper, and slightly raspy; it sends me through the roof. I smirk at how vicarious my thoughts become. I think about how his skin feels next to mine, and how he smells right after sex. I might sound crazy, but he has an almost sweet and dizzying scent, almost like a really great cup of coffee. It's sweet, but deeper it's a tad bitter. I snuggle further into the covers, finally trying to drift off. I think about how just a few hours ago he had shown me just how much he's going to miss me during the next few months. It makes me feel the sleep that's been trying to take over me. I suddenly feel his arm pull me closer to him, and I finally drift to sleep.
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"Would it be selfish if I asked you to stay at this point?" I question if he even heard me with my head buried in his chest.
"Say the word, and I'll stay." I look in his eyes, and place a long sensual kiss on his lips.
"You know I can't do that, and neither can you. We can do this, I promise."
"I know, but it doesn't make this any easier." I just nod, and continue trying to just melt right into him. We're silent for a while and we must look like idiots standing the middle of the airport groping each other, but I don't care. He runs his gentle fingers through my hair, and it soothes me. I have always loved his hands; he has delicate fingers if you could believe that. I always tell him that he has writer's hands, but he says that writers don't have a specific type of hand, so after a while I let the subject drop. I look up at the big clock, and notice that he has to get going.
"Jess, as much as I hate to say this, you have to get going."
"You're right, I guess I better go." He sighs, and I swear I see moisture in his eyes. The sight makes me lose it, right in his arms. Not only am I an idiot groping my boyfriend, but now I'm sobbing uncontrollably, and he's trying to comfort me. After a few minutes I manage to somewhat compose myself.
"I'm sorry; I swore that I wouldn't do this in front if you…" I trail off trying to contain my sniffles.
"Hey, don't be sorry, I'm going to miss you so much, baby" he whispers so only I can here him.
"I'm going to miss you too, more than you know." He shakes his head.
"Trust me, I know." He winks at me, and I smile.
"So I guess this is, 'see you later?'" I look up at him.
"Yea, I'll see you later." I kiss him, hard and with more passion than I can muster, knowing it's our last for a while. I pull away breathless.
"I love you, always will," I whisper in his ear before I pull away.
"I love you too, so much. He holds my hands and starts to walk towards his security check before finally letting go. I resist the urge to go after him, and start walking out to my car so I don't lose it. I find myself running by the time I hit the parking lot. I have to get out of there, fast. As soon as I reach my car, I'm shaking and out of breath, but I don't even notice. I'm crying hysterically again, but once again, I don't notice. I'm totally numb and empty now that he's gone, and so I just cry until I can calm my self enough to drive home, without him.
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A/N well, I hope you've enjoyed it so far. I have two more parts coming soon, so look for those within the week, once again thanks for reading, and would appreciate it if you review, good or bad :
Peace,
Litfan1824
