Okay so... NCIS: LA pissed me off... REALLY pissed me off.
Did I think that Harm and Mac would last? Honestly? Nope. They are both two screwed up people with major relationship issues. I don't think they would be happy with anyone. In a way, their career is the only relationship that works which leaves little room for much else.
I often wrestle with whether or not they SHOULD be together, the whole soulmate thing. Are they? Aren't they? Who knows?
So after the fracas that was NCIS: LA and hearing Mac say they fizzled out, I wondered the how and why? She didn't sound like she was upset with him. I get that 9 years without seeing each other is a long time but, trust me, if they split in bad terms she would not have been ok with it.
They would have been upset with each other and it would have shown.
So here is my take on how it happened. Yes, I have other things to work on but, at the moment my brain can't hash out anything romantic with them nor do I want to work on the other stories.
Will that change? Perhaps. Maybe soon but, not today.
The title comes from a song from Per Gessle from Roxette of the same name.
"If you ever leave me
If you ever let me down
If you ever tell me
You don't want my love around
I'll be alright
You gave me the best years of my life
And a girl like you is very hard to find
So everything will be alright
People change, I know it
It's a most natural thing
And if you want to show it
You don't owe me anything
I'll be alright
I had the moments of my life
All I need is a little time to cry
Then everything will be alright
Take it easy, baby
I wouldn't change a thing (anything about it)
After all, honey
I don't regret anything
I'll be alright
You gave me the finest things in life
And a love like that is very hard to find
So everything will be alright
You gave me the best years of my life
A love like that is very hard to find
So everything will be alright."
"I'll be Alright" by: Per Gessle.
Prologue:
Mac awoke to a warm body pressed up against her and a warm breath against her neck. It startled her at first especially considering it had been over a year since she'd last been with a man. Then she remembered going to Harm's apartment, him kissing her so passionately. His proposal and the rush of hurrying home to dress for his wetting down at McMurphy's.
They had told their friends about their impending nuptials and decided to let fate decide their future with the form of a coin toss. She had hesitated when Harm had suggested it; she rarely won those and it was the absolute craziest way to decide a future. Nevertheless, they had agreed, shook on it in fact and let fate figure the rest out. And this time, she won.
Harm had taken defeat graciously, even when she had suggested they try it best out of three. He shook his head and kissed her in front of their friends. He was happy and Mac wondered why their whirlwind romance hadn't clicked in until now.
The General had told Harm they would speak about his future in the morning as he had an alternative to a resignation that would work with Mac's billet.
She felt him press a kiss to her shoulder, her neck and the hand that rested across her abdomen began to dip lower and Mac opened up for him, arching her back against his chest as he touched her intimately.
Their lovemaking had been explosive, a product of a pent up sexual tension that stretched out for nine years. Despite never knowing each other as lovers, it was like he had some sort of instruction manual on how to set her on fire. She actually begged him to stop, to let her catch her breath only to turn the tables on him. It had been wonderful and Mac realized she'd never been completely sated until him. "You're going to be the death of me, flyboy."
Harm chuckled at her admission and after his successful assault on her body, he turned her so that he could look in Mac's eyes. She didn't have to head to San Diego for a few days of which he was thankful for. Had he won, the billet in London needed to be filled immediately and they would have never had this moment. He wouldn't have been able to make long, languorous love to her. "You're so beautiful." And she was but, even more so with the sweat on her body, the flush to her skin and the knowledge that he'd pleasured her.
With a start, Harm rolled away from her for a moment and reached down for his pants, searching the pockets for something. The act had Mac on alert and she came to her elbows, trying to gauge what he was doing. After a few seconds he held something out to her, a simple diamond ring and Mac felt her breath catch again. This was real, really real and he did intend on marrying her. She couldn't help the tears that came when he slid the ring home and pressed a kiss over her ring finger. "I've had this for a while…Over three years if I remember correctly."
"Three years?" She was surprised to hear that and felt a crushing squeeze over her heart. The last two years had been something of a disaster with more wasted opportunities and a case of PTSD where she had lost herself in someone else. She never stopped loving him, Mac was sure she never could but, it seemed so futile and lost.
Harm nodded. "Since we came back from Afghanistan… after what happened to Bud." He said quietly, it was clearly still an event that bothered him. Being so close to losing a friend like that had sobered him, made him realize what was important in his life. It didn't help that they had almost died in the desert or that he had played tag with a nuke. For all their bravado, they had nearly lost each other so many times he lost count. Harm had been determined to stop that, to end their push and pull at all costs and then… "Things just kept getting in the way, I guess… It was never the right time. Then I was in the brig...and then..."
"Paraguay...I'm sorry." Her apology sounded lame even to her. Those words just couldn't heal her mistakes or right the words she had told him. Mac only hoped that they could move forward from it and start a life without so much angst and hurt. "Harm, are you going to resent me once realization hits?"
"No. I've been considering leaving JAG since I returned." He admitted and sighed. "I probably should have stayed with the CIA but, I came back for you." The look of shock in her eyes made him grin, he had surprised Sarah MacKenzie so many times in just a few hours and would continue to do so. He raised up her finger, taking a look at how the ring glinted in the light of her bedside lamp. "This was mom's ring and my grandmother's before it… I think she knew before I did that you were the one."
"I love you, fell for you right off the bat." She blushed at her admission and then sighed happily when Harm leaned in and kissed her.
"I love you, too."
