Sirius and James sat on the stairs that led to the sixth floor, so close to one another that their knees were touching. It wasn't a novel thing for them to do, they were both incredibly physical and secure with themselves. They didn't question their relationship dynamic, nor did anyone else.
James kept folding and unfolding the map absentmindedly while waiting for Sirius explain why he insisted they needed to take the map in the first place.
"So-" James began.
"Lily," Sirius breathed and turned his body so he was completely facing his best friend.
"Is that why you've been so cryptic?" James was nearly growing impatient. Sirius was uneasy, which made James uneasy.
"Do you love her?"
James smiled humorlessly and sighed, "I can't imagine the day I won't."
"It feels right, doesn't it? Loving someone. I mean, truly loving them." Sirius began to tremble.
"Yeah. Sure. I mean, some days I feel like my intestines will drop out because I'm bursting at the seams with so much feeling for her." Sirius cocked an eyebrow as James continued, "But loving her , being around her, being a part of her universe, the feeling is inexplicable. It just feels right. Loving makes you want to be the kind of person who deserves to be in their company."
"You two are close," Sirius observed and grabbed James's hand as he spoke. "Isn't the thought of rejection petrifying?"
Now James was really worried. Although their bond was thicker than blood, Sirius kept his cards close to his chest. And he usually did not want to discuss James's affections for Lily.
He turned so he was looking Sirius in the eyes. Squeezing his hand he gently asked, "Pads, what's the point of all this? I don't want you to feel uncomfortable, but please. You can tell me anything. You know that, right?" James put his other hand on Sirius's knee, rubbing it gently in an attempt to comfort him.
Sirius tried to fight it, but his body betrayed him and tears began to liberally flee down his cheeks.
"I'm..." he choked. "I love someone. I love them and I'm scared. I'm more frightened than I've ever been in my life. This person makes me feel things I thought had been forsaken for me. I'm vulnerable and I would do anything, anything for them."
"Oh, Sirius..." James embraced his oldest and closest friend as Sirius began to full-body weep. "What's the matter, then?"
Sirius couldn't bear to let go of James, he couldn't bear to see his expression as he started to divulge his most important secret. "He- him...I just...I can't help it." this was all he could manage to say before James grabbed his face and stared so hard at Sirius, as though he was trying to look into his soul.
"Sirius Black. You can love. I will never be ashamed of you, and you should never be ashamed. You have nothing to apologize for, you hear me? Nothing." Most everyone knew that Sirius is bisexual since the third year. To be perfectly frank, he wasn't one to be discreet about his conquests, male or female. Other than a rare peck goodbye, or the drunken grinding that happened between the two at Marlene's summer cabin, Sirius's sexuality didn't affect James. In fact, he admittedly liked that they could be so physical with one another.
Sirius hung his head low and said in the smallest voice, "It's for real. For the first time."
"Who, Pads? Who is it?"
"Remus." Guilt and dread laced his voice as he hid his face in his hands. "I love him and it could ruin everything. I love him and I need him to know. Every day I want to tell him what he's become to me," the words flowed unceasingly. "I c-can't. I couldn't handle it if he didn't want me around anymore."
James sat in stunned silence, his mouth gaping.
"Oh God. James, please tell me you don't think of me differently. I need you to say something."
One of James's hands found itself on the back of Sirius's head, intertwined with smooth black locks that gracefully reached his shoulders. His other hand grabbed one of Sirius's and he placed it on his heart.
"You haven't ruined anything. You love him," he stated simply. "You love him, and you love me. And I love you and I love him and I love Lily."
Tears made their second appearance and Sirius gave a weak smile. Everything James said was true, and he wondered why he had been nervous to confide in him in the first place.
"I know how you're feeling. Happiness mixed with sadness, and a fear of rejection that can cripple. I promise it will get easier. Remus doesn't have the capacity to hate. I imagine it's one of the reason's why you fell in love with him." Both boys smiled at one another as James carried on, "I vow to you that I will always be here for you if you need anything, don't be afraid to let me know."
Sirius breathed easily and felt a weight that he had been carrying on his own was alleviated. "I know," he chuckled and wiped his cheeks dry.
"Anything," James repeated as he leaned in to Sirius, their faces now mere inches apart. "We shouldn't have to feel so lonely."
James closed his eyes as he prepared for his impact on Sirius's lips. It was a soft peck that was full of love and reassurance, the peck didn't even last two second before their faces pulled back, which was customary for them.
This time was different, though. They needed each other.
Sirius gulped and removed James's glasses, trying to gently fold them as his hands trembled.
"Are you sure about this?" Sirius inquired. James responded by planting another kiss on Sirius, right on his jaw.
"We need this," James whispered between kisses, making his way to Sirius lips.
Their lips met and they began to familiarize with each other. Sirius slid the tip of his tongue across James's full lips. James responded by snaking his own tongue into Sirius's mouth, neither boy stopping for air.
The kiss lasted for about 60 seconds. It was enough time for them to release passion and frustrations. They had their hands fully engaged in each other's hair, occasionally, and not so gently tugging. There was no fondling or removal of clothing involved (though Sirius wouldn't have minded). This was about love. Love and passion and frustration. Love for each other and for the keepers of their hearts. Passion and frustration because they both had pent up so much for so long.
When they broke apart from each other, they both gasped for air and Sirius rested his head on the shoulder of the person who had been saving him for the last six years. Everything was completely quiet and peaceful.
"Well...there's that." James broke the silence and chuckled lightheartedly.
"Honestly Potter, you won't be able to chase Evans off with a stick once she experiences how you kiss firsthand." Sirius winked and nudged James playfully.
"Don't go barking up my tree now!" James retorted as Sirius barked with laughter. "We both know Remus has a tendency to be jealous about what's his." He nudged Sirius back.
"Oh please! Everyone knows you're the possessive one in our trio."
"I refuse to confirm or deny that heinous accusation."
Laughter broke out and any signs of feelings other than pure happiness drifted from the atmosphere.
James stood and offered his hand to help Sirius. Sirius accepted the offer and he locked his arm with James's as the two began to descend the ever-changing stairs.
"Love you, James."
"I love you too, old dog."
The two boys proceeded arm in arm towards the Gryffindor common room, cracking jokes and discussing Quidditch. To anyone they passed, nothing had changed. For them, everything had. They were both fools in love, but they had each other to lean on.
And for now, that was enough.
