Title: A Malfoy Story
Words: 307
Characters/Pairings: Lucius, Narcissa, Draco/Ginny
Challenge: Anything
Rating: PG-13, for a few naughty words


Once upon a time, in the land of all that is tweed and Beatles, there lived a man called Lucius Malfoy. Lucius was an evil, unpleasant little man. He enjoyed worshiping the equally vile Dark Lord. Lucius also enjoyed tying his unnaturally blonde hair back into a ponytail with a black ribbon. It quite frankly made him look like a girly-man.

He didn't care because he would Crucio anyone who pointed this out.

Lucius met a girl named Narcissa.

We don't know much about Narcissa, except that she came from another prestigious pureblood family, the Blacks. Purebloods, in general, seem to be big on the incestuous mating habits.

Lucius and Narcissa got hitched in a very twisted ceremony. The Dark Lord was their minister. He even cried a little. It was very beautiful and heartwarming.

Nine months later, out popped Draco Malfoy, heir to the gargantuan Malfoy fortune.

Draco was a nasty prick of a boy, much like his dear daddy. Many people believe that Draco is just a poor, tortured soul, who just needs a little lovin' (coughGinnycough) because he was neglected at home. With that, he would be a perfectly lovely, non-evil guy, with a face like a Greek god... However, we fear that this is just wishful thinking by Tom Felton fangirls. It's a damn shame. Draco is much too hot to be a prick.

Lucius eventually rots to death in Azkaban, after being Martha Stewart's bitch for nearly eight years, Narcissa has a torrid affair with Remus Lupin because she's been horny since her son was born, and Draco fights the good fight in the war against the Dark Lord after falling in love with one Ginny Weasley.

Ginny and Draco produce an entire Quidditch team of children, much Ron's horror.

And they all lived happily fucked up ever after.