Here Without You

Here Without You

This is a fic based on the fact that the Noah clan had regular lives before the Noah gene kicked in. This one is for Tyki as if he had been in love once and still even though most of his memories are gone he has flashbacks on her. It's a song fic to the song by Three Doors Down "Here Without You." Italics are the song and his note at the ending.


A hundred days have made me older
Since the last time that I saw your pretty face
A thousand lies have made me colder
And I don't think I can look at this the same
But all the miles that separate
Disappear now when I'm dreaming of your face

Tyki sat absorbed in his book but a growing headache made it hard for him to concentrate. He leaned his head into his hand and closed his eyes. When he did a fleeting memory of a past he did not even really remember passed through his conscience. He had these flashbacks more and more frequently. He's even spoken to Earl-Sama about it. But he'd only told Tyki to ignore the thoughts. But it was hard to when they came so often. And they mostly came to him in dreams.

I'm here without you baby
But you're still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby
And I dream about you all the time
I'm here without you baby
But you're still with me in my dreams
And tonight it's only you and me

He could see her. Her eyes were a soft brown. Her hair black and her skin dark. She was always smiling. Laughing. And she seemed to have known him. He knew this was a memory of his past before he had become a Noah. But he could not really tell much about his past save for her. If asked he could describe her in every detail. The sound of her voice. Even the feel of her skin against his. Oh yes. It was apparent that she held some deep relationship with him. An intimate one. He vaguely remembered something about being married. And a thought he wasn't so sure about, but had the suspicion of, was the topic of a child.

The miles just keep rollin'

As the people leave their way to say hello
I've heard this life is overrated
But I hope that it gets better as we go

That was a long time ago though. He was no where near where he assumed that had been. A nice place. But not anymore. He couldn't say he liked the life of a Noah but it was all he had now. He couldn't go back. Where would he go? And even if he did go back would he find Her? And if so then what? Would she want him back? He wasn't so sure.

I'm here without you baby
But you're still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby
And I dream about you all the time
I'm here without you baby
But you're still with me in my dreams
And tonight girl its only you and me

He sometimes had dreams about the child. She had dark, skin and dark hair like both of them. But her eyes were amber. Like his. He could hear here giggle. Her sparkling laughter was just as entrancing as Hers. They were happy. But it wouldn't last. He knew that. He would wake later and the dream would seem only a fleeting thought. And he longed for it to come back.

Everything I know, and anywhere I go
It gets hard but it wont take away my love
And when the last one falls
When it's all said and done
It gets hard but it wont take away my love

The dreams got stronger and came more frequent. It was getting harder to suppress them as much as he'd like to. He didn't want the memories but they grew persistent. And he soon realized her memory would never leave him. No matter what he knew to be true. He could never go back. No matter where he went. No matter what would happen in the war with the exorcists or who would die. Despite it all he remembered he loved her.

I'm here without you baby
But you're still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby
And I dream about you all the time
I'm here without you baby
But you're still with me in my dreams
And tonight girl its only you and me

He lifted his head from his hand. With a sigh he sat the book down on the table next to him. He picked up a slip of paper and a pen off the table. He began writing a letter. To Her. He knew he could never send it. But at least he'd have something to put his thoughts into words with. Something he could read over and help to ease his mind. He sat for a moment at first. At the top of the paper he'd written

Dear-

That was all he had. He didn't know her name he realized. He paused. Tapping his pen to his chin. He closed his eyes and concentrated hard. Finally something came to him. He wasn't sure if it was right. But he'd use it anyways. It would suffice.

Dear Yaira,

I know you'll never read this. But I have to say I remember you. I can see you every night in my dreams. You are a constant reminder of what my life used to be. I wish I could see you again and I mean really see you and hold you. I wish I could see little Adelaida again. She looks a lot like you. I see her face when I dream too so don't think I don't love her as well. If there was some way to give you this letter I would. Maybe one day I'll find a way. But that's unlikely. I'll try though. I really will. Because even though I'm here without you, you're still on my lonely mind. I think about you and I dream about you all the time. And know that every night it's just you and me. For those few blissful hours of sleep it's only you. And of course little Adelaida.

With all the love a Noah can give,

Tyki Mikk

He put his pen down and folded the letter. He placed it safely in his pocket. He knew what he'd do. As much as he'd hate to and how dangerous it would be. He had a plan.