My First Rickyl One-Shot, It sucks but hey I tried :)
~Cassandra Lacy Lane
Rick's P.O.V.
It was so empty, Silent...My hand clutched the pillow next to me and a empty feeling set in, it was so silent, yea I could hear the people outside the cell getting ready to settle for the night. I could hear Michonne standing at my door with Herschel, in whispered voices they went over how to help me, how they could keep me sane so I don't turn into what I did when Laurie died. I loved Laurie, we had two gorgeous kids together but this hurt a million times more then when she died. I could feel my stomach ache and more bile started to come up my throat, I quickly leaned over the bed and puked into the bucket at my side. Tears started to run down my checks and once I was sure the bile was done for know I turned towards the wall pulling Daryl's pillow into my arms I could smell him all over it, a intoxicating smell of dirt and pine tree. The Silence kept hitting me in waves I heard the sheet over my door move and then the bed creaked as some one sat next to me, "Rick, how are you?" Herschel's voice was meant to be soothing and I knew he was trying to help but at the moment I wanted to be alone he let out a huge sigh. We sat in the deafing silence for a long three minutes until he said something "You need to be active, this group needs you and Daryl would..." be trailed off as the curtain moved again, followed by the scrape of a chair "Daryl would kick your ass" Michonne finished. I sat up "I know, I do, but..." I trailed off running my hands over the pillow in my lap. Michonne sighed "Its been three days..." she whispered, more tears started to fall down my checks "He kept me sane" I stated my eyes never leaving the pillow "besides Carl and Judy, I thought I would never love someone so much" I added. Michonne set a hand on my knee "you where his world Rick, when we went out on runs he always talked about you, I thought I would strangle him sometimes..." she laughed. "He's gone because of me" I stated finally bringing my eyes to there faces "no" Herschel said "He would have done anything to protect you Rick he didn't regret it, he wouldn't blame you" Michonne stated. "I should have paid attention, I..." my voice broke and I brought the pillow up to my face "we'll come back tomorrow, remember Rick at some point you need to straighten out, I know its hard but in this world, we don't have time to mourn" They got up and left the room. I laid down and attempted to sleep, at some point I fell into an uneasy sleep.
-Flash Back-
He let out a low laugh and set his crossbow down, his eyes scanning the ground, I was sitting on a log picking at the multiple plants surronding my feet. "What are we lookin' for again?" Daryl asked raising an eyebrow at me I looked up meeting his gaze, a small smile spread aross my lips "Carol said she saw some honey sickles out here, said she could make something with them" I answered, standing up. He wrapped his arms around me and pulled my body flush against his, a warmth filled the pit of my stomach and I leaned into his touch, wrapping my arms around his neck. I set one hand in his hair and the other on the back of his neck. Our lips met in the middle and the warmth in my stomach grew, I pulled away pressing my forehead to his, my eyes closed and I let out a content sigh. Daryl started swaying softly from one side to the other "damn it Rick," he sighed pressing a softer more passanite kiss to my lips. The kiss got more heated and we didn't notice the groaning that seemed to get closer until it was to late. Daryl pulled away from me when he noticed, his eyes widened and he shoved me out of the way, the walker managed to get Daryl to the ground I jumped up shoving my knife through her skull. Panic set into my stomach as I kicked the corpse off Daryl, his hands where closed around a spot on his side blood leaking through his fingers. "no, no, no" I dropped to my knees Daryl moved his hands to reveal a chunk missing from his side "Well...Damn..." he breathed. I pulled his head into my lap "You arn't fucking leaving me Dixon" I breathed, he took a shuddering breath "Rick, I need you to do something for me" his voice broke at the end of the sentence "anything" I nodded tears pooling in my eyes. He took another deep breath "Don' let me turn into one of those things" he looked at me pleading, I nodded and leaned down pressing my mouth to his for the last time. He smiled "Good note to leave on" he sighed "I love you" his voice was small but full of emotion, dripping with love. The tears in my eyes started to fall "I Love you to" he looked at me smiling with pride his breathing started to slow and his skin started to cool. I set my forehead on his as his last breath escaped, I put the knife under his head and quickly made sure his last request was fulfilled. Tears hit his checks as I grieved, my heart breaking into tiny pieces. "Your my center, please come back" I repeated over and over again my heart countiued to crack.
-Reality-
I woke up drenched in sweat, my breathing heavy and my heart aching sunlight spilled through the bar window and into my eyes. I pushed my self out of bed and started to get dressed the memory replaying through my head, I stepped out of my cell and everyone's eyes turned on me. Michonne coughed and turned towards me "go back to what your doing" she yells "are you ready to start working again?" she whispered to me I nodded and she handed me a piece of paper. "We're running low on supplies but we're having trouble figuring out who to send" she says pointing at names "they volenteered to go, but they can't all go and they have different skill sets that could be useful" she says. I look over the list a few more time before deciding "Send Glenn, Crystal, Sasha, and Duke" I answer "out of the volenteers they have the most skills" she smiles taps my shoulder and walks away.
~~~A Few Hours Later
I sit next to the fresh grave and pick at the weeds next to my foot, "hey baby" I sigh "I know your not much for pet names, but I am and I think if I say your name, I'll crack" I look at the cross with his name carved into it. "Its been a really busy day, Im trying to keep up, go back to normal but I feel like I can't" I sigh. "I know that you'd want me to go back to normal, God damn it, Don't be gone" tears pool in my eyes and I lay back next to the grave, my eyes are blurry and I know I look like a pussy but I can't help it. "I have never loved someone as much as I do you, not even Laurie" I used the back of my hand to wipe at my eyes "As of right know I can't help but wonder why I fall in love, meet the one person worth living for just for him to be taken, if it wasnt for OUR kids I wouldn't have a reason to live" I moved into a more comfortable position. "Judith keeps saying your name and crying when you don't come pick her up" I sigh "Carl, he thinks I don't see him but I see him out the window every day he stands here and talks to you, I can't hear what he says but I know he does it" I looked at the cross again. "RICK!" Michonne called from the prison doors I sat up "we need you!" she adds I turn to the cross "I'll be back as soon as possible, if not to day then I'm 100% positive tomorrow, every day from know on I'll visit" I stand up and wave Michonne away so she knows I'm coming. She turns and walks into the prison "I love you" I state walking towards the prison.
-A Few Days Later-
The Prison fence comes down and zombies pour in, the Govner smirks at me and my blood boils, he advances towards me as does a walker that trips over Daryl's cross making it fall over. Carls hand closes on my arm "Dad we have to go" he insist, my stomach tightens although he's gone I can't bare leaving him, I promised to visit him everyday I pull away grabbing onto Beths arm as she passes "Take Carl to the bus with you, take care of my kids if I don't make it" I state she nods and starts to drag him off "DAD!" he shouts over and over. I knife a walker, then another, and another the Govner gets caught in a circle of walkers and I can't help but be happy he's gone, it actually freaks me out a little. After I take down a few walkers I feel Carls hand again "DAD YOU HAVE TO COME!" he shouts. After a few more walkers I finally let myself go with Carl although tears pool in my eyes. I offer a silent prayer and whisper a promise to Daryl that I'll be back, I will always come back to him, Always.
One Day I will, and like promised one day...I do.
Dead Or Alive, Daryl Dixon is my home, wether it be a grave, or a live being, he will always be home.
