The Joys of (Sweaty) Roommates
A YGO Drabble


'How does this happen to me?'

How Ryo wished an answer existed. In only mere seconds, his comfortable Saturday morning disintegrated before his eyes. One moment, he was stretched out on his couch; the next, Bakura had ambled into the apartment and flopped down on top of him.

That, however, was not the end of Ryo's misfortune. Shortly behind Bakura, Touzoku-Ou jogged in, breathing heavily. He frowned at the sight of Bakura, mouthed something along the lines of 'cheating bastard', and proceeded to drop onto Bakura and Ryo.

Ryo yelped at the added weight, while Bakura merely growled, "Asshole."

The smell and feel of their sweat made Ryo's nose crinkle in disgust. 'These two are going ot be the death of me... Couldn't they at least have washed up before trying to smother me?'

Exhaling the little air he could actually fill his lungs with, Ryo asked, "Why are you two lying on top of me?"

"I'm tired," Bakura muttered. "It was a long run."

Touzoku-Ou snorted and thumped Bakura's head. "More so for me, since you wimped out and took a shortcut."

Ryo felt Bakura smirk against his neck. "Is it my fault you don't know the layout of Domino like I do? Besides, you cheat at plenty of things, so don't play high and mighty with me."

"Fuck you."

Struggling beneath their weight, Ryo wedged his knee into Bakura's stomach and gave a forceful nudge. A grunt acknowledged the attempt to physically persuade him off, but nothing else came of it. Ryo sighed again.

"Guys, c'mon," He pleaded, adding an intentional quiver to his voice. He knew how hard the other two found it to refuse the quiver. "You are literally suffocating me here."

Two huffs and the rustle of clothing brought a sly grin to Ryo's face. Catching sight of it, Bakura sneered down at him, whispering, "And I'm the cheater?"

Smugly grinning at his roommates, Ryo pulled up into a sitting position and said, "Well, I wasn't lying. You were crushing me. And suffocating me... with your smell. Geez, it should be a crime to stink so badly."

Feigned hurt flashed across their faces, but their usual smirks eventually overpowered the forced pouts. Touzoku-Ou pulled Ryo into an aromatic headlock, much to the latter's disgust.

"Just because we're tough guys does not mean we are immune to your cruelty, Ryo," The dark-skinned man chastized, his hand ruffling his captive's hair playfully. He and Bakura laughed somewhat manically with each fruitless effort Ryo made to free himself.

Finally, the victimized male snapped, "If I wanted to smell like unwashed gym socks, I'd go on the runs with you. Let go!"

Wagging his finger mockingly, Bakura purred, "Now, Ryo, what're the magic words?"

"Let go before I kick you out, change the locks, bar the windows, and buy a gun just in case."

His captor and the accomplice frowned, actually managing to look quite pitiful. Visibly dejected and disappointed, Touzoku-Ou released his prisoner, mumbling, "So mean."

Ryo rolled his eyes. They played the victims well when they wanted to, but he knew the telltale signs of their skillful acting. For one, both Bakura and Touzoku-Ou were looking him in the eyes, an attempt to elicit sympathy. When they were truly upset about something, they hid their faces—their eyes especially. Touzoku-Ou would study the floor or the walls while Bakura would close his eyes and turn his back to as many people as possible.

For another, their bodies were far too relaxed. Were they angry or hurt by his words, their muscles would be tensed, like fight-or-flight position. Touzoku-Ou tended to balance on the balls of his feet, ready to dart out of the room and slam a door shut behind him; Bakura tensed his arms and fists, clenching his hands so tightly they matched his hair.

Yes, he knew their body language. Which was exactly why he glared at them and said, "Cut the bullshit, you two, and go take a shower."

They gave their puppy-eyed stares a few more seconds before dropping the charade. Bakura grinned, teeth bared like a predator, and slithered up next to Ryo. With deft movements, he wrapped his arms around his look-alike's waist and nipped at an earlobe.

Touzoku-Ou rested his chin on Bakura's shoulder, gazing into Ryou eyes, his own glinting with amusement. "Join us, Ryo?"

"Well, I suppose I have to, since you got me covered in your sweat," Ryo returned, his voice not as reluctant as his words made him seem. "Gross, by the way. Don't do it again."

His roommates shared a chuckle and answered in unison, "No promises."


A/N: Just a drabble I wrote while trying to warm up. Good practice, I guess, though it's been forever since I wrote third person, dialogue-heavy story, YGO, or bakushipping. God, I feel so rusty. Am I as rusty as I feel? Let me know.

Until then, thank you for reading. -LA