A Previous Life

Amélie sat at her dressing table, staring at her ring.

It was made of thin gold, pressed to pure, delicate form with thin lines of platinum crisscrossing at even intervals, and was the perfect size for her finger. A delicate sapphire was embedded in the ring, only minutely jutting from the shiny metal. It didn't have any kind of backing; it was suspended in the ring, held in place by the same delicate platinum that wrapped around the ring. With every ray of light that hit it, it shined with a light blue color.

The craftsmanship was truly astounding. It was crafted by an Omnic, a strange mixture of a truly handmade item, and the perfection of a machine. Its beauty took her breath away. Amélie handled it with both care, love, and regret.

There was a knock at her door.

"Come in, Lena."

The door opened, and the dark-haired Brit poked her head in.

"How'd ya know it was me?" Lena asked.

Amélie could hear the forced humor in her voice. Lena was trying to appear as her regular old self: joyful, upbeat, and ever playful. Amélie knew her well, and knew when she was trying to cover something up.

"I just knew."

"Oh, ya mean your famous intuition?" Lena said, stepping into the room properly. Amélie saw the swagger she walked with; it was another façade. She wore matching trousers and vest, a deep brown color with thin white pinstripes, perfectly fitted. A bolt of pain lanced through Amélie's heart. Lena always looked good, but she looked even better when she dressed as sharp as she did.

Looking at her vest and pants, the pain seemed to redouble. It was the outfit Amélie had bought for her birthday last year.

"That's right," Amélie said, making herself smile. Lena wasn't the only one in pain.

"So what's your intuition sayin' now, love?" Lena leaned, almost sat, at the edge of the dressing table.

"That you are in pain."

That got Lena to stop. Even her carefully held smile fell, and Amélie knew how long Lena could hold that endearing grin.

"Lena, I-"

"I heard a rumor going around," she said. "That Gérard gave you something."

Amélie looked at the ring in her hand.

"It's awfully pretty, isn't it?" Lena said.

"Lena, please."

"Please what, love? Please excuse you for taking a ring from him?"

"Lena, you are hurt. I know that. Please do not make this harder than it already is."

"You know, I was looking at rings too," she said. Amélie bit her lip. "You know how much you mean to me, and I know how much I mean to you."

"Lena…"

"Then I hear that you went and took a ring from Gérard. How do you think that makes me feel?"

"Lena, you know me," Amélie said. "You know how much I love you, and how much I love Gérard."

"So that's supposed to make me feel better about how you said you'd marry him?" Lena said.

"Non," Amélie said. "Non, I knew there is nothing that would make you feel better about that. But—"

"So why'd you agree to marry him?" Lena pressed. Amélie couldn't look her in the eyes. She saw the pain that was in them, and she couldn't stand knowing that no matter what she did, someone would be hurt. "Why'd you say yes? I thought you loved me."

The pain lessened, if only because of a growing coal of anger.

"Lena, you are hurt," she said. "I know that. But that does not mean that you can say such hateful things."

"What, can't us spurned lovers snap at each other a little?"

"Dammit, Lena, I love you," she yelled. "I love you more than life itself. And you should know that I love Gérard the same way. Merde, Gérard knows about you, he knows about the love I have for you, how much love I have for the both of you! So do not go saying that I cannot love you, you know that is simply not true."

Lena met her glare, but relented, as if she had realize what she said, and if she could take back what was said.

"I wasn't lying about the ring," she mumbled. "I had one picked out and everything. Spent days looking for it. I was just waiting for my next paycheck to clear."

"Lena, I am so sorry."

Amélie was surprised, but glad, that Lena let her take her hands.

"It just…it just feels like these past few years haven't meant anything," Lena said. "Like we didn't have something."

"Lena, chérie, we do have something," she said. "Remember what I told you, about what my mother said about me?"

"About how so damn filled with love you were?" Lena chuckled. "Hard to forget that. You said you loved me then."

"And that has not changed. But my mother did not just say how filled with love I was, it was that I was so filled with so much love that it could not be contained to just one person. I love you, and I also love Gérard. I do not love Gérard more than you, and I do not love you more than Gérard. Both of you are the loves of my life. I have never loved anyone so much as I love the both of you."

"Then why did you say 'yes' when Gérard asked you to marry him?" Lena asked.

Amélie had been thinking of what to say. She had been thinking of how to express herself, how to describe her feelings, how to make Lena see. She had promised herself she would be articulate, but as she spoke, she could feel the promise break.

"Because it would not be fair to him," she mumbled. "Or to you."

"So now it's back to what's fair?" Lena laughed.

"Non, non, non, that is not what I meant," she stammered. "Would you be able to love Gérard?"

"Think you know the answer to that, love."

"And he would not be able to love you, too. But both of you would have to love each other if all of us were to stay together. Do you remember how those dates have went, when it was all three of us?"

"Wish I didn't."

"Can you imagine living like that? Can you imagine that being your every day? Because that is how it was for the longest time, and neither of you enjoyed it. And if you truly wanted me, that is how our lives together would have to be."

Lena was quiet. She let Amélie continue to hold her hands.

"That is why I said 'yes' to Gérard. What we have is amazing and great, but it cannot continue. I want the both of you, but the both of you cannot live with each other. It had to end, Lena. It simply would not work with all of us. I love the both of you, but you cannot love each other."

"And if I got you that ring before Gérard…?"

"Lena, please, you cannot do this to yourself," Amélie said. "You cannot spend all of your time thinking about 'what if-s' and 'could have been-s.' Please, if you truly love me, you will not do that to yourself."

It looked as if Lena would cry. But she held onto that British stiff upper lip, and was able to regain her composure.

"You know, I came here to try and talk about one thing, but ended up talking about something completely different," she chuckled. "I didn't want to fight you, you know?"

"Lena, you do not have to apologize. You needed this, whether you knew it or not."

"And the heart gets what the heart wants, doesn't it?"

Lena was quiet for a long time. Amélie let her be as quiet as she wanted.

"I guess I should congratulate you, then," Lena said. "Not every day someone asks you to marry them."

"You do not have to if you do not want to. I know this is painful for you."

"No, I have to. So congrats."

Amélie could feel the tears come. She thought she'd be the one to hold everything together.

"I…I just want…can I say one last thing?" Lena asked.

"Anything for you."

"Would there ever be a chance for us…?"

"Maybe in another life, ma chérie."