2012
June 13th, Wednesday
21:01
The ringing in her ears ping-ponged back and forth, drowning out all other sound. She could see nothing but darkness before realizing that her eyes were shut. The smell of burnt meat occupied her nostrils, but it wasn't any animal she was familiar with; like pig, but something wasn't quite right about it. A metallic taste was in her mouth and after exploring with her tongue she found her top lip had been ripped open and blood soaked into her skin.
What happened?
Sabrina Holland tried to piece together her thoughts. She must have fallen unconscious as this wasn't how waking up from sleep should feel like. Perusing her memory she started to remember chunks of the day. She had been surprised in the morning by her parents and friends… but what for?
My birthday… that's right.
They had gone to this fancy restaurant for her 18th birthday, the types that have the tiny portions and rich alcohol.
Was that it? Did I drink too much? It was the first time I've drunk alcohol… but why are my ears ringing? Is this a hangover?
Waiting a few moments, the ringing started to disappear, replaced by a crackling sound like… fire?
Sabrina's eyes snapped open. Above her was the inky night sky, the stars twinkling and black smoke billowing into the air? She could make out more noises now – somebody crying, some groans of pain, the sound of sirens close by. Feeling smooth tarmac under her fingers, Sabrina pushed herself up to a seated position, feeling as if she'd been punched in the mouth. A great, flickering orange blur was in front of her. Blinking furiously, her eyes focused on the flames. Massive orange flames. She could feel the heat from her.
Then she saw the bodies through a collapsed wall.
Charred figures with raw pink flesh exposed. Some were reaching outwards, clawing for survival but failing to find it. Others had curled into a fetal position, as if to protect themselves from the inferno. Her eyes drifted to another body, this one half burned. An older man, his bottom half completely burnt while his top half was limp and pock-marked with smaller burns. Wire-rimmed glasses hung from one eye, blue eyes staring straight into Sabrina's own.
"Dad!?" Her voice left her lips, thick with blood. Sabrina scrambled to her feet and fell hard back down, her left leg giving way underneath her. She yelped in pain and looked briefly at her leg. Something sharp had gone straight into her flesh, embedding itself deep into her muscle. A piece of metal or something. Sabrina drew in her breath. Seeing the wound somehow made it feel worse. Quickly turning away, she focused back on her father. "Dad!" She pushed herself back to her feet, using a nearby railing to hop towards the body. She collapsed to her rear next to him, pain zapping up her leg. She grabbed her father's arm, but it was heavy with death. "Oh god… oh god…" Sabrina felt something rising and turned to vomit, but all that came out was a small amount of acidic fluid. She spat on the floor, blood mixing with the bare contents of her stomach.
Seeing that fluid, the rest of the black spots of the night came back to her.
"I… I saw this... I…" Sabrina blinked, her head pulsing. "I saw this earlier today… I didn't eat… I wasn't feeling well because I… saw this…" Shivering, she pushed backward away from her father's body. "Oh god… I saw it all… and I… I walked out because… I didn't warn anyone… I…" Sabrina's eyes widened at the realization. "Could I have… saved you? Saved anyone else? What if I said something? Dad… is this… could I have…" Feeling a heavy knot in her stomach, Sabrina's hands curled into fists, her chest rising and falling as her breathing grew faster and faster. "No, no… this isn't… no, this can't be… not my fault… this isn't… I saw this though… I could have…"
Sabrina put her head in her hands, nails digging into her forehead. "Are you dead because of me? This is my… this is my fault, isn't it? Ah… this is… hah… hahah…" Sabrina's head dipped down, making a noise that was a twisted fusion of sobbing and laughter.
June 14th, Thursday
15:45
The room was far too light for her liking. Pale blue walls, white curtains and bed sheets, that horrible turquoise-like floor. This was a hospital – a place of death and sickness. It should be dark colours to make people feel right at home with their misery. Sabrina absently rubbed the three stitches on her lip, glaring around the room. She hated hospitals. They were like ugly markers in the history of death and war. Hey, look over here, this is where you are given false hope and die. Her left leg was stretched out in front of her, wrapped in bandages. The wound turned out to not be serious, managing to avoid any serious arteries or veins. Twenty more stitches and it was all good; just a tiny pulse of pain every now and again.
Her clothes had been stripped from her when she had passed out after the paramedics found her hysterical and clutching her father's body. Now she was in this horrible gown that felt so synthetic.
Her father… it felt like a faint memory, a nightmare. No… it was real… but she didn't feel sad. Maybe all her sadness was lost the previous day.
"That's fine…" Sabrina murmured to herself. "I don't like being sad." She glanced out of the window and saw lush green grass. "I want to go outside." With this simple thought in her mind, she swung her legs from the bed and stood on them with a wince. Her left leg still couldn't take her full weight. Limping over to the dresser she opened the drawer and was happy to find some clothes. Nothing special, a white t-shirt and jeans. Cheap stuff. "I suppose there is nobody to give me clothes from home…" Sabrina mumbled before heading for the door. Gripping the door-knob, she pulled.
Click. Click click. Click.
"Locked…" Sabrina was surprised. "Why is it locked? I should be able to leave whenever I like." She tried again, stubbornly pulling and pushing on the handle. "Move… move! Let me through. Let… me… through!" She grit her teeth and slammed her shoulder into the door, only to make her bounce backwards. Panic rose up in her throat. They think I did it… oh god, they think I did… I'm gonna be arrested, I'm going to be put in jail for the rest of my life, oh Christ, I'm gonna… "LET ME OUT!" Sabrina screamed, slamming her palms on the door. "LET ME OUT, LET ME OUT, LET… ME… OUT!"
After a few minutes with no reaction, she stopped shouting and turned her back to the door, sliding down it with her legs stretched out. "They think I did it… they think I killed them. I didn't…" Sabrina rammed the back of her head into the door. "I DIDN'T KILL THEM!"
The sound of a key turning in a lock hit her ear. Pushing her way from the door, she stared in fear as the door opened and two suited men looked down at her. One was dressed in a shabby brown suit with a trilby hat propped on his head. He had a neat black moustache and soul patch combo. He was thin and gaunt, almost looking ill. However a friendly smile played on his lips.
The other man was heavy-set, with broad shoulders. He wore only a white shirt with the top button undone, revealing the start of a hairy chest. A loose tie was around his neck and small beads of sweat dotted his forehead. He didn't look neither friendly nor horrible. His expression was blank as he chewed on gum, his mouth moving up and down like a cow chewing cud.
"Sabrina Holland." The younger man with the trilby asked, extending his hand. "We need to talk."
17:00
Sabrina hesitantly sipped at the bottle of water, the rim scraping her hurt lip. Swallowing, she placed the bottle back on the table. A cheap, vending machine sandwich lay forgotten, not even touched. Opposite her sat the man with the trilby. He had introduced himself as Eugene Hawk, a special detective investigating a certain series of events. His partner was Harold Kelly, who still had that odd emotionless expression on his face, the snap snap of the chewing gum the only noise in the room.
Eugene smiled that smile of his again. Something was wrong with that smile. It was friendly enough, that was for sure, but something was just… off. "Are you ready to talk?" Eugene asked with his soft voice. "At your own pace, Sabrina. We have time."
They hadn't arrested her yet. Sabrina figured that maybe she wasn't blamed for the explosion. She was obviously a person of interest. However, she was concerned that she hadn't seen any real police officers. Just people in shabby suits. Staying quiet, Sabrina looked at the table.
"You are not in any trouble, Sabrina."
"Well, that depends." Harold growled, a thick Irish drawl.
Eugene sighed. "I don't believe you're in any trouble. I don't think you caused the explosion yesterday. It was just an accident."
Sabrina absently nodded. It was an accident. She just saw it before it happened, was all…
"So what did you see?"
Stiffening, Sabrina looked up into Eugene's eyes. They were as friendly and off as his smile. "I… I don't know what you mean."
"Yes you do. You saw something approximately five to ten minutes before the accident?"
"A vision," growled Harold again.
"I don't… I d-don't know what you're talking about." Sabrina made the split decision to not mention her… vision… as they called it.
"That's fine, perhaps you didn't realise it was a vision. Did you feel something akin to Déjà vu when you woke up? Like you saw the fire before?"
"No… I don't know what you're talking about. What do you people want?"
"We want answers, Sabrina, that's all." Eugene stood up, slowly walking around the table to Sabrina's side. She shivered, smelling an expensive but subtle deodorant.
"I don't know what you're talking about. I'm sorry, but I don't know…"
"Then why were you outside of the restaurant?" Eugene asked. "You should have been inside with your family, celebrating your 18th birthday. Happy birthday, by the way." His smile flickered, the friendliness turned into something malicious for barely a second.
At that moment, Sabrina decided she hated Eugene Hawk. Nevertheless, she knew she had to answer his questions. She had to make sure they believed her. "I was feeling sick. Probably because I was drinkin-"
"No you weren't." Eugene answered before she could even finish her words. "There was no alcohol in your body. Try again. Why were you outside? You must've known the explosion was coming."
"I didn't! I was just feeling ill… I don't remember I… why are you asking these insensitive questions? I just… my dad… my family… my friends…"
"All dead, I know. And here's the thing, Sabrina." Eugene placed a hand on her shoulder, squeezing softly. "I need to know if you knew the explosion was going to happen, because as far as I'm concerned, it is a citizen's duty to try and save others if that person has the privilege of being warned. So did you know it was coming? Did you know that the explosion was going to happen? Did you see the deaths beforehand? Answer me, Sabrina."
"I didn't know, I… I just felt ill, that was why I was outside. I don't know anything about visions, I don't."
"I don't like liars, Sabrina." Eugene whispered into her ear, sending shivers down her spine. "This has happened before. So called visionaries not saving others… Citizens being selfish… you had time to at the very least warn the restaurant. Maybe they would have dismissed you, but you would have tried. But you didn't try, did you? You just left and allowed your father… your family… your friends… to die. Without even a tiny hint." Sabrina was stock-still, feeling Eugene's breath on her ear. "People like you are scum…" Suddenly Eugene drew back, a smile back on his face. "Unless you're not. Maybe you are telling the truth. Perhaps you did feel ill. Perhaps we are here for nothing. Maybe this was nothing more than an… unfortunate… accident."
"That is what it was… I h-honestly have no idea what you are talking about." Sabrina was scared. More scared than she had ever felt before. She wanted to go. "Are you going to… am I free to leave?" She feared the answer.
"Leave." Eugene echoed. "Of course. If you want to leave…" He swung his arm, motioning at the door. "Then leave."
Sabrina stood up quickly, heading over to the door. She was afraid Eugene was going to shut it but she managed to step through the doorway before Eugene leaned close once again.
"But we will be keeping tabs on you. You will be very… closely… watched."
2013
February 22nd, Friday
22:45
Water splashed her bare thighs as Sabrina walked down the shore of one of St. Ives' beaches. She was dressed in shorts and a bikini, ignoring the chills of the night air. The waves washed slowly back and forth, feebly grabbing at her ankles before falling back past the sand. She had tied her blonde hair back into a ponytail, letting it flap behind her as she slowly walked. She loved the beach. It was safe. Realistically, nothing could happen to her.
Because over the last year, everything had happened to her. The first time happened not long after she left Eugene and Harold. Deep in her thoughts, she was almost hit by a car. If it wasn't for a passer-by pulling her backwards in the nick of time, she would have been red paste on the road. As the months passed, it felt like the world was trying to kill her. Scaffolding had fallen down when she was near, bricks tumbled from loose foundations, potholes in the floor threatened to trip her and bash her head in. But no matter what, she managed to avoid all these instances of near death but they only grew harder and harder to avoid. After a particularly close call involving wet concrete, she had just left to search for somewhere less dangerous. Not willing to drive, she had walked through open fields, avoiding anything that could hurt her. The journey south to Cornwall (where she had visited on holiday once before, back in a better time) was exhausting, but without danger. She didn't live in an apartment, or even a tent. She simply carried a bedroll and sleeping bag with her, sleeping far enough from the cliff edges but close enough to enjoy the view of the ocean.
Money was never an issue. She had inherited her parents' savings and seeing as she wasn't spending it on houses or bills; only food and the occasional spare set of clothes, she could keep the money going for a long time. Shopping was a dangerous affair. She was scared stiff of something happening she couldn't avoid. The first time she went shopping she had gone slowly, scanning every inch of the place. She must've looked paranoid… truth be told, she was.
She had been living essentially homeless ever since. Homeless… but safe. The sense of freedom was refreshing. She could do what she wanted, wherever she wanted. She could forget all about Eugene, Harold, the accident, everything. Sometimes she wondered if she should mourn more for her family and friends, but she could never do it. She just felt blank regarding them.
As the sand shifted under her bare feet, Sabrina sighed and sat down, ignoring the water washing past her. She looked into the stars and hugged herself tightly. "Why me?" she asked to no-one, her voice carried away by the faint wind. She didn't know why she felt the urge to speak, but she continued to do so. "Is this some kind of punishment? Because I avoided death? Am I to risk death for the rest of my life? I don't want that… I don't… I don't want that…" Tears trailed down her cheeks and Sabrina hunched over in misery. "I don't know how much longer I can go on… I don't think… I don't think I can do this… let this end… let this end…"
Then she heard something. Heard an answer to her pleas, carried on the wind. She perked her head and the voice came again. She wasn't crazy. Something was definitely speaking to her. "What should I do?" she called out. Listening intently, she flinched. "Is that it? Is that the answer?" Sabrina paused and drew back. "Me? I'm not special, I'm… oh… oh, so that's why…" Sabrina looked back up at the night sky. "I see. I understand… Thank you. Thank… Thank you! I can finally be free… I can…" Sabrina smiled. It felt like an age since she last smiled. "I can be free again…"
