Hey guys! This is just a little angst for the Sherlolly fans. It's slightly based off the two lines in Someone Like You by Adele, "Sometimes it lasts in love, but sometimes it hurts instead/regrets and mistakes they're memories made," I apologize for the abrupt ending, I might smooth it out later. Enjoy!
I wish people would just stop bothering me. No, I'm not okay. No, I don't want food. No, I can't come, Lestraude, I don't care about your silly murder case. God, would these people just let me be miserable in peace?
How could I be such a fool? How? I'm the world's only consulting detective, I'm Sherlock Holmes, for Heaven's sake! I should have known. What was I thinking, that she would just wait for me while I was dead? Why did I assume her luck with men would remain the same? Of course it wouldn't. I've known her for five years, and every day she gets more beautiful. Surely I can't be the only one who notices it. Notices how perfect she is. How she can smile no matter the circumstances. How she will put herself in danger to come to your aid. How she will always love you, even if you degrade her.
You idiot. She doesn't love you anymore. She's moved on. You were too late, too stupid. I took too long to sort out my feelings, and now she's left. And she's not coming back. As soon as I saw the ring, I knew. I knew my Molly was gone. My sweet, beautiful Molly Hooper.
And now she won't even be Molly Hooper. She'll have a new name, and then nothing of the girl I love will be left. Just a haunting memory. A ghost. A shadow.
I've never even kissed her. Really kissed her. I've loved her for two years, but I was scared. Scared of what? What was going to happen? She wasn't going to reject me. Why did I hold back? One kiss. That's all it would have taken. Then everything would be solved, like one of my cases. Crime discovered, criminal caught, bomb diffused. Feelings sorted, girl won, disaster averted. But I failed. I lost the girl, the bomb has blown, and shrapnel has pierced my heart.
Is that what this ache is? Heartbreak? I've heard the term from John's stupid soap operas, but I'd always dismissed it as fiction. A heart cannot be broken, it can only be damaged. Again I was wrong. Hearts can be broken. Shattered. Destroyed. Not even the strongest are immune to love. It takes hold of your being like a virus, and once it has invaded, there is no cure for the pain that follows. The all-encompassing torture that renders you useless. You cannot focus on anything but the agony, and soon all that is good disappears from your mind and the anguish is all you know.
They say love is a blessing. That love heals all. All it has been to me is a curse and an ailment. When people use the term "falling in love" like it's a good thing, it means that the other person is there to catch you, to keep you from hitting the ground. When I "fell in love", there was nothing there to save me. I hit the pavement at terminal speed. Because of my own stupidity, my one chance at survival abandoned me and I crashed head-first.
People try to help me, but I'm unreachable. There's so many regrets, so many things I did wrong. I'll never forgive myself. I let my Molly drift away.
Sadly, according to all rules of science, the human body cannot produce enough tears to drown oneself. I think this is the first time I wish science was wrong. Anything, even a slow death by suffocation, would be better than this utter despair.
Review and tell me what you think! Honesty, please, that will help me write better in the future. Thanks. Hope you liked it! -Sicily
