Stay Strong

Black. Engulfing Jessie from every direction. Black suits and black dresses enclosing in on her and her family as they entered the building. She ignores the words that are directed to her as she walks away from the front door and the gusts of wind that followed her family in. If she listens to their words, she will cry and she mustn't do that. Jessie must stay strong for her siblings. If Sammie and Nate saw her lose it, it would devastate them and somebody needed to stay strong for them.

Family members that Jessie recognizes try to send her comforting words and facial expressions to try to ease the pain. Nothing will work though. Jessie knows that this will not be a comforting day. This will be one of those days when she shows no emotion all day and then breaks down in bed tonight. She must stay strong. There is no other choice.

She walks into the room she wants to avoid. She walks in confidently, knowing her siblings are behind her because of their awkward shuffling. With no struggle in her stride, she walks closer. All of a sudden, her body stops cooperating. She feels like she is drowning in all of the tears of everyone in the room. She can't swim. She is drowning because she can't handle it. No. She must emerge from the ocean of tears. She has to stay strong. She must for Sammie and Nate.

Jessie walks within a foot of the casket. There lies her used-to-be grandpa. He looks so peaceful. So calm and serene. Jessie's eyes begin to glaze over and she can see her grandma staring at her. Jessie stops the tears from coming. Jessie needs to be strong for her, too.

Sammie walks up to where Jessie is, head-forward the whole time. She stops directly to the right of Jessie. Jessie looks over at her younger sister and watches as Sammie's eyes well up with tears. Sammie wants to stay strong. But it is okay for her to cry. Jessie, a very non-touchy person, pulls Sammie towards her by rapping her right arm around Sammie's shoulder and giving a gentle squeeze and takes her arm away. Sammie looks up at Jessie with tears silently running down her face. She begins to quietly sob.

As Jessie is paying attention to Sammie, she notices a slight shaking from her left-side. Jessie looks to her left to see Nate shaking violently because he doesn't want to cry and he is holding everything back. But it is okay for him to let everything out. After all, he is only six. Jessie reaches down and holds Nate's right hand with her left. Nate stops shaking and looks up at Jessie with his big brown, watery eyes. He begins to cry.

Jessie lets go of her brother. She turns to walk out of this room of pain. She heads towards the door of the room. Jessie needs a quick regaining of breath before she can comfort them. She hears their little sobs and shuffling of feet behind her. Jessie turns around. Jessie remembers to not cry while looking at Sammie's and Nate's depressed faces. Jessie must stay strong for them.

"Y'all can stay in there if you want to," Jessie says hesitantly. "Y'all don't have to go everywhere I do. Well, unless you want to."

"We want to," they respond simultaneously. Jessie asks them if they want to step outside with her. Sammie and Nate agree to go outside for a little bit.

Jessie breathes a sharp intake of cold air as soon as she is outside. When she lets out all of the air she just took in, it makes little puffs of smoke. She loves how the cold air makes her not think about anything but how cold she is. The wind whips around her body and calls out to her as it whistles.

Jessie is so lost in the comfort of being outside that it takes her a few minutes to notice her siblings staring up at her expectantly. Jessie asks them if they are okay because they both have random every-now-and-then tears sliding down their frozen faces. They shake their heads yes concurrently. Jessie puts one hand on each of their shoulders.

"It is okay to cry sometimes, guys." Jessie says to them. They just shake their head, agreeing with their older sister. "Everyone has a day where they just can't hold it in. You don't have to be strong. It is okay. You can cry as much as you want. Plus, your first funeral is tough. Believe me, I know. I have already been through this all before. It is okay to cry. Think about this, Grandpa Rourke is in a better place. It's okay. If y'all need to just breathe, again, just let me know and we will come out here. Okay? There is no one you need to be strong for. It will be okay. We should probably head back in now before Mom and Dad begin to worry."

Jessie opens the funeral home door. She holds it open for Sammie and Nate. They don't look sad anymore, just cold now. As they walk in Nate looks up at Jessie.

"You don't have to be strong for anyone. He was your grandpa, too. It is okay to cry." Nate says sincerely, in an almost worried tone. He gives a slight smile after saying it. Jessie nods her head and Nate slips through the door, knowing she understood. For the first time all day, a tear slid down Jessie's cheek.


I wrote this for a personal narrative for school a few weeks back (I had to change the names to put it on here, of course) and then decided to put it on here. I hope you liked it. I found it sort of sad but oh well! I want to know what you think!