This is my first fanfiction in almost two years. I know my other one was incomplete but I had this idea and I had to write it. Hope you enjoy. =]
She attempted to walk the halls without making eye contact with anyone. She wasn't used to walking these halls without Beck by her side, even if weeks had past since their breakup. She didn't have any friends to take that place since everyone she once considered her friend either didn't even attempt to pity her or she realized she only tolerated because of Beck. Even her best friend since elementary school, Cat Valentine, seemed nothing more than a fake now.
As she approached her locker, she noticed Beck was closing his transparent locker. I have no secrets and neither does my locker. She remembered him saying that to Tori when she was looking for locker ideas. Funny, considering after their first breakup she found out that he almost did it with Alyssa Vaughn. Even a so-called good guy has a few skeletons in his closet.
As his locker closed, Tori Vega appeared. Jade's eyes widened as Tori moved closer to Beck.
"Hey Beck." Tori said a bit too ecstatically.
"Sup Tori." He responded casually.
The two went into a discussion, and although no physical contact was made between them, Jade could still feel jealousy grow in her. She wanted to claw Tori's eyes out, especially after what happened between Tori and Beck after that play Sikowitz forced them to do. What's worse was Jade almost considered…not disliking her anymore. That feeling was gone now and Jade hated Tori even more now, and for once Tori felt the same toward her, maybe stronger than ever.
"What are you doing?" Jade turned to see Cat, standing behind her.
"Nothing, go away" Jade said, viciously.
"Why are you staring at Tori and Beck? I thought you didn't like him anymore."
"Go away."
Cat, being her usual ditzy self, couldn't comprehend that Jade wasn't in the mood for her. "Look, at my new stuffed lion! My mother thought the purple giraffe was too inappropriate so-"
Jade snatched the lion out her hand. Cat gasped as Jade threw the lion and it hit Robbie in the head. Cat chased after it.
Jade sighed and turned back to eavesdrop Beck and Tori again, but they were gone. They probably went to Sikowitz class already. She was about to walk off to class as well, until she turned and saw Cat and Robbie talking to each other still. Somehow Cat was now laughing with Robbie and she was yelling, 'Roar'. It was so obvious Robbie liked her, and yet Cat was so hung up on Beck. She tried to hide it, but Cat couldn't keep a secret even if she tried. Jade remembered that day when the earthquake happened, Beck was so protective of Cat and Jade could do nothing more than watch Beck hold Cat in his arms and Cat being excited about it later, although she tried to hide it. If Jade was over Beck already, Cat would go off about it in one of their late night discussions. No one else knew this, but late at night Jade and Cat would have long conversations through webcam. These conversations consisted of things normal best friends would talk about to each other, such as drama or guys. Occasionally, Jade would make her normal rude comments and Cat would say something completely random or go off about something her crazy brother once did, but other than that, the conversations were normal and something both girls secretly looked forward to. Of course Jade made Cat promise not to say anything about it, which was one thing Cat was able to keep a secret. The last time they had the conversation, which was almost two months ago, Jade had forced Cat to admit she liked Beck, then flipped out at her. Ever since then, Jade and Cat have been distant.
Jade missed Cat deep down, but she tried to ignore it. Ever since her mom abandoned her leaving her with her emotionless dad, she decided that she would have no emotions too. In most peoples eyes, this was true. Jade didn't let anything or anyone faze her. Jade was probably the meanest person in school, and she sure as hell didn't care if she hurt your feelings.
No one, not even Jade, knew that deep down, she had feelings, and they only showed when no one was around. Like how she felt when Tori came to Hollywood Arts. She felt those unwanted insecurities she tried to leave behind in junior high school. That's why she made it her goal to make Tori's life a living hell. In reality, she didn't hate Tori as a person. She just hated…that Tori was better than her. If she had been nicer, maybe she could be just like Tori. She tried being Tori-level nice, once. That made her decide being nice wasn't for her.
The feelings she gets when she realizes why she so-called, 'hates' Tori, is nothing compared to what she felt the night she lost Beck. She didn't even want to think of that night. It was like she lost a part of her.
Remembering that night was too much for Jade. She felt the tears. No, not now. Not here. She didn't want those tears to fall. She didn't want everyone to see that Jade West had some feelings deep down. She didn't want everyone to see how vulnerable she was becoming because of her friends and ex-boyfriend.
A tear fell. Jade had to hide now. She didn't care if she was skipping Sikowitz class. She couldn't be seen like this. She turned and saw Cat and Robbie passing by. Robbie didn't notice Jade, but Cat clearly glared at her. She could clearly see the tears in Jades's eyes. If this were two months ago, Cat would run over to Jade, hug her, ask her what was wrong, and Jade would try and rub her bubbliness off on her. But now, possibly because of the lion incident reminding Cat of why her and Jade don't interact, she just walked away.
She felt a pain in her chest, like she was, defeated.
Andre passed by. Andre and her were acquaintances, but he still feared her. She knew that he had feelings for her before, as if it wasn't obvious, but he forgot them simply because of her personality, and she was taken at the time. She never really had anything against Andre, but she didn't want to be bothered by him.
Jade wiped her eyes and started walking passed him. As she began to pass him, he stopped and faced her. "Jade?"
She didn't turn. "What?"
"Are you, crying?" He tried to see her face.
"Leave me alone, okay?" She said, still not turning around.
"You're crying. I just wanted to-"
"I said leave me alone!" She turned and screamed in his face. Suddenly, the remainder of kids in the hallway had their eyes on Jade. She looked around. Normally, she wouldn't care, but now she realized what she had done.
Andre shook his head. "i was only trying to be helpful." He walked away.
That did it. Jade ran as fast as she could. Finally, she reached the janitors closet. This is where she hid to be alone the past couple of weeks. Now this is where she hid to finally cry. She cried and realized, that she was only to blame for everything thats been going on the past few weeks. Her own actions is what led up to her having no one left, even Andre was now pissed at her, and they hardly even interacted. All those years of being mean had consequences, and it cost her her boyfriend and all her friends. Or rather friends who only stayed with her because of Beck and Cat.
After she finished, she looked at herself into her mirror. She could only see her face, but she could see her swelled up eyes, red face, and makeup that was now running everywhere. She looked like what she had become, a monster.
She couldn't take it anymore. She hated the overwhelming pain that she now felt. She wanted to go back to feeling nothing than feeling this.
That's when she pulled out the scissors that her best friend had given her for Christmas. No one understood the reason behind why she loved scissors so much but Cat.
She decided that if she was going to feel pain, she'd have no choice but to bring back an old habit she quit over three years ago.
She lifted up her sleeve, and glared at her her wrist. Her wrists were full of deep scars, which is why she wore long sleeves all the time. The last one was the deepest of all, and had probably the strongest meaning of all, which made her stop.
However, the reason was insignificant now, so she had nothing stopping her from digging the scissor deep into her skin and running it through.
She twitched a little. It was so long since she did this that she wasn't used to inflicting her own pain again. She didn't care though, and did it once again.
Because she'd rather feel pain than nothing at all.
So what did you guys think? I'm going to be doing a new character each chapter before I start bringing them together, by the way.
