Don't take your love away from me - Vast
I
am looking for an inspiration Put me on a ship that
is sinking Please, don't take your love
away from me
And I think I found it in your
heart
It's the kind of thing you get when you're not looking
It's
the kind of thing you had from the start
On a voyage to an untamed land
Take away the
freedoms I wanted
I understand
Don't take your love away from me
Please don't
take your love away from me
She was seeing him for the first time in his new uniform and couldn't help but smile. He looked perfect. Like a real warrior going to the front to save unknown families and lives. And she? She hadn't risked her life for anyone, she wasn't going to give her breathes for someone else. If she knew that this was going to happen to her she should have given her still beating heart to Denny but now it was late. The young man in front of her was smiling. He made her a gesture to come with him.
'Where are we going, George?'
He came near Izzie and hugged her for the last time. Then he just vanished into thin air in her arms. She saw something bright. 'I love you Alex.' She wanted this to be her last thought… before the end.
***
'Don't! Don't die! Wake up, Izzie, please…'Alex whispered with his eyes closed unable to make the time went back and to kiss her one more time before the surgery, unable to do anything to make her wake up and say one more time his name.
'Charge again! Clear.' The Chief yelled for a tenth time.
Dr Bailey was recharging with her eyes filling up with tears 'We can't...'
'Keep going, don't stop!' Christina insisted. She was the only person not freaking out, at least not obviously. 'Alex. Stop. It's not over.' She yelled when Alex hit the wall desperately and probably broke some bone because there was a groan after that. 'Calm down. What can we do?'
'Heart massage. Miranda?' The Chief said.
'I'll do it.' Christina said after she saw that Bailey wasn't reacting. 'But we need to get a cardio surgeon here.'
'There is no time. Keep going… Let's try with the shock again. Charge to 200. Clear!'
'No change.' Dr Bailey said.
'Charge to 300. Clear!'
Alex went closer to the bed. 'Izzie, do it for me please… I beg you please don't do this to me… I-I-I won't be able to do it…'
'There is a pulse!' Christina screamed.
***
'His brain is swelling. We need to proceed fast. Meredith pass the paddles!' Derek said. 'I need an aspiration here… good.'
'There is a pulse!'Meredith screamed.
'Good. We have to wake him up to see if there is any brain damage that can be fixed.'
'And what if there is… we can't wake him now… he would probably be in shock…' Meredith started to talk nervously. 'I want let you do it.' She insisted and caught the anaesthesia's tube so no one can touch it.
'Hey… hey Mer, look at me.' Derek started calming her. 'There is no risk of waking him and we need to see if there is a problem now before closing him, but I don't have to explain it to you. You know it. Now step aside and I believe that everything is going to be fine with George.'
Meredith though about it for a moment and then let the tube.
Owen pulled it off. 'O'Malley! Can you hear me?' He asked.
'Blink if you understand us, George.' He blinked. 'Oh, thanks God!' Meredith whispered.
'O'Malley, it's Shepherd. We're almost done here but I need you to tell me do you know where you are right now. Blink one time for yes and two for no.' George blinked ones. 'Do you know her.' He looked at Meredith. George's answer was again positive. 'And …do you remember where were you going when the bus hit you?' This time there was a hesitation. 'Joining the army? Do you remember that you were going to go to Iraq?' There was a tense silent. George blinked only one time again. 'Perfect. You're a fighter George. We're closing you up now and you'll be under anaesthetic again.'
The surgery went well and George was in his room still not awake, after a couple of hours.
***
'Izzie, can you hear me?' Alex was sitting next to her bed, holding her hand. The sun has already shined. Alex was counting every beat of her heart all night.
She opened her eyes slowly and saw her husband. She tried to talk but she realized that there was a tube coming out from her throat.
'You're awake! Izzie I love you so much. I just couldn't let you go.' He hugged her not letting her hand because he was afraid of not losing the feel of her pulse. 'You're ok now, you're going to be ok, I love you so much.'
Izzie was confused. She didn't remember losing consciousness. The only thing she knew was that George is not ok. She had so many questions and she wasn't able to ask them. How was George? Why Alex was so frightened? Why they had reanimated her even if she had signed the DNR? She was just laying there. Her lungs were filling up with air without doing anything… the feeling was really strange. If Alex wasn't there she was going to freak out when she wake up. But he was there for her like always… like when Denny died…. Why was she thinking of Denny? Was he there? She started examining the room. He wasn't there. Thanks God! Izzie squeezed Alex's wrist, she wanted to see if she'll feel the touch and she felt it. That was enough… for now. She was feeling sleepy so she closed her eyes and went back to the beach where Denny was missing too this time.
***
Mark got a coffee and went on the elevator. He walked in and saw Lexie.
'Hey.' She said.
'Hi.' Mark answered coldly.
'How are you?' Lexie asked trying to pretend that she's just asking and not really care about it.
'Good.' He answered shortly. She was waiting him to ask the same question but he didn't so…
'I'm good too.'
'Fine.' Mark said careless.
He wasn't used woman to cut him off. He really liked Lexie but she was too immature for him.
'How's George?' She asked even if she had checked on him just a minute ago.
'He's fine for now. We'll see.' He said staring into the elevator's door.
The elevator doors opened and the two of them tried to get out faster so they ran into each other. She tried to go before him but he did the same thing.
'You go first.' Mark said in the end glancing at her for the first time.
'Fine.' Lexie agreed without looking at him too.
***
'Brain therapy.' She taped. It was the 50-th thing she checked this night.
'Hey, Callie. What are you doing?'Arizona asked. She was looking for her all morning after she heard for John Doe's turning out to be George and finally found her in the computer room. 'Callie.' The blond doctor called again when there was no answer.
'I'm… I'm trying to help George.' She answered staring into the monitor.
'I think that is better to be with him right now.'
'No, Arizona. I'll help him. I will!' Arizona sighed. 'I mean… I have to save him…' Callie continued while her eyes were filling up with tears.
'Come here.' Arizona whispered and hugged her. 'Everything is going to be ok.'
'And what if…'
'There is no if, George will going to be fine.' And she hugged her more calmly.
***
She walked out of the elevator holding her 2 years old son.
'Good morning Dr Bailey.'
'Hi, Chief. ' She greeted and continued to walk.
'How are you?'
'I just went home to get Tuck I have three surgeries today. I'm worried about two of my interns who almost died yesterday and I have no one to take care of my son today, tomorrow and the day after that. No chief. I'm not ok.' Bailey answered while they were walking down the corridor. 'How are you?'
'I'm trying to fix all the documents around Stevens, it's hard to hide a heart stop beating.'
'We had to do it. It was really, really stupid to sign the quit of reanimation .'
'She'll be fine. I want her to be fine that's what matters right now. Stevens will resign and we'll change the time of the heart attack a little bit.' The Chief said.
'How is she now?'
'Karev is with her all the time, I trust him … he is her husband after all… Can I help you with something Dr Bailey?'
'Really? Well… you can take Tuck for a few hours, the first surgery is after 20 minutes.'
'Hmm…fine, ok.'
She gave him the little boy and the Chief hardly kept him.
'And what do I have to do?' He asked.
'He's a calm kid just give him some medical instruments and he'll be fine.'
'Oh… okay.'
'Sure you are going to be fine?'
'Of course. Go do your surgeries.' The Chief said but still looking uncomfortable.
'Thank you so much!' Dr Bailey seemed better. 'I'm going , you'll listen to uncle Richard, right.'
'Uncle Richard?'The Chief asked surprised.
'Oh sorry, Tuck this is Dr Webber. Good luck with the documents.' She said.
'We'll have a good time together Tuckie.' The Chief said to the boy.
***
Izzie opened her eyes again. Alex was still sitting next to her even if the sun was already going down.
'Hey.' He said and kissed her on the chick. 'Do you want to write me something?'
She nod and Alex gave her a sheet of paper and a pencil.
'I love you too.' Were the first words she wrote. He smiled and started caressing her head. It was difficult for her to write but she continued to doing it.
'What happened with your hand?' She wrote when she saw the bandage.
'Oh, it's nothing. Don't worry.' He smiled.
'How's G.?'
'G? George?' Alex asked. Izzie nodded.
'I don't know he is here somewhere I don't think he'll go to the army anyway.' Alex tried to pretend that he didn't knew what had happened because he didn't wanted to make her even more scared.
'Don't lie to me. What is it?' She wrote again.
'Why are you asking?' Alex said confused.
'Is he…?'
'No, no Iz, he's stable now but from where do you know that there is something wrong with him? Who told you?' He asked angrily.
'I saw him.'
***
'O'Malley, how are you? You don't have to answer to me.' Owen said when he entered George's room and saw he's awake. 'I think that… ok, first about your medical condition. You're stable for now, you know that you'll have more surgeries. But I believe you're be fully recovered after a month. Don't try to talk it can hurt."
"How… is… Izzie?' George pronounced hardly.
'Stevens is stable too. She had a little trouble but she's going to be fine. Don't worry about her… I just wanted to tell you that you'll be great out there in Iraq. If you still want to go there. It was very brave to save that girl and I've seen very bold people. She is alive thanks to you…
'Hey.' George hardly called him. 'Pen.'
Owen gave him a pencil and a sheet of paper.
'You need to rest now. I'll come before my shift ends to check on you. '
'You paged me?' Christina said when she came in one empty patient room where Derek was filling up charts. 'Are Izzie and George okay?' She looked scared. 'Do we have a big, hard and risky surgery to make?' She asked with enthusiasm.
'They are ok. I paged you because I wanted to ask you to do me a favor'
'Oh.' She said disappointed. 'I'll do everything if you take me in your next surgery.' Christina said expecting him to say no.
'No problem.' Derek agreed.
'In that case it's something important. Did you messed up the things with Meredith and you need me to get you two back together, no matter that you have been married only for a day?'
'Yang?'
'I'm sorry did I say that out loud? Because if I did I didn't wanted to.'
'Let's pretend that I didn't heard that… I need you to ask Meredith if she likes Italy...'
'Hey, Mer I really like one Italian guy and I his friend is cool too. Do you want to go living in Italy with them?... Is that okay?'
'Yes. There is only one problem and it's that she's married to me! She'll find out that I've asked you to do it. Come on do you want your surgery. Be creative, Christina.'
'Ok I'll try. But the operation has to be very good.'
'I promise. Now go ask her if she likes Venice.'
'Hey, why do you want me to ask her that? Do you want to take her there? Something like a honeymoon?'
'Yes.'
'How about the idea to quote an Italian song and pretend to speak Italian?'
'Christina…'
'Ok, ok I'm going. But…'
'Go.'
'Fine.'
***
After Izzie explained how she saw George Alex was thinking about it all the time. He stood beside her all day while she was resting and the only thing that happened was that one nurse came to change his bandage. His hand was only hurt, no broken but the nurse insisted.
'Why did you save me?' Izzie asked when she walked up after a couple of hours and realized that she is breathing on her own.
'Hey. You're awake.' He kissed her hand. 'I had to save you.'
'Alex, you have to get over it. I don't want to live like that. I don't want to have another heart attack, I don't want to keep you awake all night. I'm so glad that you're my husband but I thought that you knew that this was going to happen.'
'I didn't marry you because I knew something, I married you because I wanted to. I don't want you to stop fighting.'
'I'm tired Alex.'
'You're not, you only have to rest and you'll be at work in no time.'
'If I ask you to be alone now will you get out of the room.'
'No I won't leave you alone. You had to do it, please Izzie, do it for me.'
'You see. You'll never give up. I know what I want.'
'Iz…'
'And what about the documents I signed for no reanimation.'
'We thought that you'll resign it. Look Iz, you're ok now.'
'And when this happen again and after that again and again. You'll be able to live an absolutely normal live if you let me go.' Alex tried to say something again but she cut him off. 'I don't want you to take care of our children alone. I don't want you to abandon your career or to go without me on birthday parties… I'll resign them but you have to promise me that if this happens again you'll let me go. Promise me!'
'I promise.' He said after a couple of minutes.
She smiled at him and fell asleep again. Alex just lay beside her and tried to remember her smile forever. Then started to count her breathes once again.
***
Cristina was looking for Meredith but actually she was searching more for Owen. When she spotted his reddish hair she went closer and whispered in his ear.
'Hey.'
He turned around immediately. And hide a piece of paper.
'Hi, Christina.'
'What's this?'
'It's nothing…'
'Come on give it to me.' She insisted and took the paper from his hand. 'Oh, it's a letter for the psychological therapy. When are you going?'
'This afternoon. I was going to tell you but I didn't want you to worry…'
'Are you kidding. Can I come with you?' Christina said.
'Why do you want to come?' He asked surprised.
'I don't know maybe I'll be able to help you of course I'll come only if you want me there…'
'Yes, why not. I mean this would work and we can make it work together.' He smiled.
'Let's see…' She looked the sheet of paper again. '5 o'clock sounds good. See you then.'
'See you.' Owen said and watched her while she disappeared from the corridor.
***
'How are you?' Meredith asked when she walked into George's room.
'Mer…'
She sat on his bed without saying anything then her eyes filled with tears and she started whispering.
'I'm sorry George! I'm sorry for everything. I'm sorry that I didn't stop you to go to the army, I'm sorry that I wasn't with you when you got married and I really, really sorry that I cut you off when you said that you love me.'
'Hey… shhh. It… is not … your fault.' He tried to smile and squeezed her hand. 'You don't have… to apologize… I want to join… the army… You see… I want my life… to matter… I want to help people… here are many doctors… and there… they are not enough. I want to see… what is to survive and to fight… I want more… Please try to understand me. Now… how's Izzie.'
'She is fine now. Alex is with her.'
'Give this to her, Mer… please. And stop… crying.' George handed her one sheet of paper.
'I'll give it to her. Do you need something?'
'No… thanks.'
'George… I-I'm so proud of you. I wish I was like you…'
'Don't cry. If something … … happens to me…'
'No don't talk like that!'
'Listen to … me. I want you to tell Callie that… I never wanted… to hurt her… and to my mother that… I didn't want her… to be here… to see me like this…and I'm really grateful… for all that she had ever done for me… And to Alex … to take care of Iz… To Christina … that I'm not Bambi anymore… Bailey… she is the most incredible woman… I've ever met. And Mer… I want you to know… that you've always been one of… my best friends… and I'll always love you… And to the girl on the walkway…' He was interrupted from knocking on the door.
'Come in.' Meredith said.
The girl that George had saved walked into the room and when she saw that he's awake she just said timidly. 'Hey.'
'Hi.' The situation was really uncomfortable.
'I'll go give this to Izzie.' Meredith said and left the two of them alone.
***
When she walked out of the room Meredith heard somebody calling her.
'Christina…'
'Buongiorno. Cosa fai? Quanti anni ho? Da quanto tempo… hai il mio cuore.'
'Sto bene. Grazie. Christina… you're acting weird. Why are you asking me how old are you? And why your heart is broken?'
'What?'
'Che?'
'You speak Italian?' Christina said unbelievingly.
'Yes I know a little bit.'
'Have you ever been to Italy?'
'No.'
'But you always wanted to go there, right?
'Ok.'
'That's what I wanted to hear!'Meredith looked at her surprised. 'I'll go to a therapy with Owen.' Christina changed the subject quickly. The idea with the lyrics was good but maybe Zucchero wasn't the perfect choice…
***
'I'm Gloria.' The girl introduced herself.
'I…'
'You're George O'Malley. Who saved my life.' She answered instead of him.
'Nice to meet you.' He tried to smile.
'I don't know what to say… Thank you. I-I don't have words. Are you going to be fine?'
'I don't know. I… hope so.' George said even if his head was spinning.
'You will! And then we'll go to live in…'
'Hey, hey wait. I have a little… different plans for the future. I'm sorry… if I…'
'No of course. You're right you don't know me. And you probably you're mad at me because I was there and now you are…'
'Listen… don't get me wrong. I'm not mad… I was just going to start… a new job… when the bus… you know.'
'Yeah, you're going to go to the army. I heard. But I thought that you'll quit after all this. I don't know. Don't you think that this was something like a sign for both of us.'
George touched his head it was killing him.
'I don't know. But I need you to call Dr Shepherd and tell him to come here.'
'Why, are you ok?'
'Just get him here.'
George continued to hold his head with both hands, the wound was bleeding.
There was again light. Then he heard voices. Someone was screaming his name.
'Get him to the OR, now!' Someone said. The colors bleed together then faded.
*
Meredith's pager rang before she walks into Izzie's room.
*
Christina's while she was in the psychologist's office with Owen.
*
Callie was still searching for a cure.
*
Alex was already asleep next to Izzie who was staring into the white wall feeling that something is going to happen soon.
*
The Chief was in George's room first. Then Derek came. There was no pulse and there wasn't going to be. Not this time.
***
He was seeing her again in her pink dress. She was beautiful. He smiled at her knowing that this was the last time he is seeing her face.
'Where are we going, George?' Izzie asked but she didn't look scared.
He went near and hugged her. 'You're not going anywhere.' He whispered in her ear. 'Goodbye, Izzie.' He smiled and then just vanished into thin air.
***
Suddenly Meredith opened the door.
'Time of death 12:03.' Owen said after there were a few quiet minutes.
'What?' She said shocked.
'Meredith come on.' Derek said and helped her get out of the room.
'You killed him!' She screamed at Derek.
'Mer… I.'
'There was a problem. The surgery didn't go well. He's … '
'Please Meredith I've done whatever I had to.'
'But it wasn't enough! He can't be… Go there! Let's go there and save him. It's not over! Let me go!'
Derek blocked the door and caught her hands. She burst into tears…
*
'Callie.' Arizona walked again into the computer room.
'I think I found it! We only have to…'
'Callie…'
'You don't understand, you have to be happy!'
'He passed.' Arizona said quietly.
'It can't be true.' Callie said after a couple of minutes.
'It is. I'm so sorry.' The other woman cried.
'I wasn't there. I was here. I-I didn't said goodbye. I was his wife! I-I …'
*
'Bambi! That's what I called him first. I thought that he'll give up the first month.' Christina said to Owen while they were on their special place on the roof. 'He was better than all of us. We we're like vampires thirsty for surgeries and he was always helping the people, their families. He wasn't as sensitive as Izzie and not so insensible like Alex or me.'
'You're not insensible. You're just not showing it.'
'I don't know. The truth is that I admired him. He was good in staying calm and does whatever he had to. He almost killed the person on his first surgery, you know.' She smiled a little bit. 'Now he's just another dead patient...'
'Hey. Don't cry.' He said and rubbed one tear on her face. 'You just have to be proud that you knew him. I am.'
*
Gloria was waiting in the waiting room with Dr Bailey and Tuck.
'Dr. Webber, how is he?' Gloria asked and he sensed the fear in her voice.
'He… he didn't survived. I'm sorry.' He said looking at both of them.
'Oh, my God!' Gloria cried.
The two doctors were just staring into each other not realizing what had happened.
*
'Alex! Wake up!' Izzie whispered.
'What? I'm awake. Are you ok?'He asked frightened.
'I just wanted to say that I'll fight no matter what I have to get through.' She said and kissed him still holding George's letter with one hand under the pillow.
To Be Continued…
This fanfiction is devoted to my very best friends Dayana and Iva. They were the reason for my inspiration and I just wanted to tell them that I love them very much, no matter if we are too different some times, no matter if we go to a different places and live different lives.
Martina Novakova
