A/N - This is my first published fic. I am unsure on the rating - please advise if I need to change it. This is just a fun little idea I had from "Secret Santa" and also as a result of a recent epic bout of illness during which I watched the whole of seasons 1 - 4 on DVD. Minor spoilers if you aren't past the end of Season 4 yet.
It was a few days before Christmas. The temperature in New York City had plummeted, and snow was lying crisply on the ground in the parks and on the side-walks. Well, on the side-walks it was rapidly turning to mush as scurrying New Yorkers dashed here and there on their way to work or to home or to see family or friends, making their last minute Christmas arrangements. Festive decorations hung in all the shop windows, making the city feel like a Winter Wonderland of tinsel and lights and garlands of greenery. Despite the cold and the snow, the city felt light and warm.
Kate Beckett skipped up the stairs into the 12th Precinct. Paperwork lay ahead of her for much of the day, but assuming there was no call out to a scene, she would at least get to finish work at a reasonable hour. Castle had arranged for them to go skating tonight at the Rockefeller Centre, and Kate was already excited at the prospect of whizzing round the ice, using the slippy surface as an excuse to hold Castle's hand.
The elevator pinged, sounding its arrival on the fourth floor, and Beckett emerged, the care-free Kate having been shed on the ride up just as she shed her warm winter jacket. Castle emerged from the break room, smiling as he walked towards her, proffering a coffee that was still steaming.
"Well good morning Detective, and how are you on this fine day?" Castle asked, a smile beaming from his lips. Beckett raised one eyebrow quizzically,
"Castle? What are you doing here?" she moved closer to him and dropped the volume of her voice, "and how did you get here before me?"
"I thought I would come and surprise you. I know how you enjoy it so much when I watch you do paperwork". His radiant smile could not be dented. He leaned closer too, and dropped his voice, "I caught a cab, and offered the guy an obscene tip to get me here as quickly as possible".
Beckett smiled back at Castle, just a small smile, nothing overt. They thought they were great at hiding this now. "It's creepy, Castle. You just sitting there, staring". And distracting, thought Kate, terribly, terribly distracting. She took a seat at her desk, and Castle sat in his usual seat at the end of her desk. He got out his phone and started flipping through apps, his twitter feed, his games, anything really. He considered making some notes about the next Nikki Heat novel, but most of the outline was done already and he was ahead of Gina's monstrous schedule, so he had some time to chill out.
Castle's loft was ready for Christmas, and he really wished Kate would come over and see it. They had spent last night at her place, she seemed more comfortable there than at his. Maybe it was the Alexis thing, he pondered to himself? Maybe they needed to have that conversation again? He'd told her that he had been wrong, that his daughter did not in fact hate her, that he had read the situation totally wrong and jumped to an inaccurate conclusion. Hmm, he needed to stop dong that, speaking before he had thought things through and asked questions. He resolved to remember this revelation for the future, no doubt it would come in handy at some point, oh, maybe he could have Rook do something crass and then come to the same realisation? He made a note in the small Moleskine he carried around in his jacket for just this purpose.
Beckett saw him reaching for his inside jacket pocket and waited for him to have flipped open the small notebook and written his note before she spoke to him. She knew that when something Nikki related came to him he needed to write it down before he forgot it, and that he trusted paper more than tech, even with his love of gadgets. Especially true since the incident earlier in the fall when his phone had started to go so slowly that he had eventually thrown it at the wall in frustration. Questions had been asked in the bullpen that day. Anger management had been suggested, only half in jest, so Castle had bought a new, faster phone, paid for the wall to be painted, and had even swept up the remnants of plastic, glass and electronics himself. Gates had been displeased. What was new? Castle had now put the lid back on his pen, and placed the notebook on Beckett's desk. "Story idea, Castle?" asked Beckett, "You know, if you need to go home and write…"
"No, no, I'm good, just a possible point for Rook to consider somewhere in the next book", Castle answered. He was still beaming, "More coffee?" he asked, noticing her cup had been drained and they had now been here for a couple of hours.
"Sure," replied Beckett, "thanks", she handed him her cup and he retreated to the break room to fiddle with the settings of the coffee machine.
At the next bank of desks, Ryan and Esposito were doing their best to look engaged in paperwork, but were throwing furtive glances at each other, and trying to have a conversation without words. On the far side of their desks, away from the prying eyes of Beckett, and the inquisitive, nosey, attentions of Castle, sat a box. It was a largish evidence box, nothing remarkable in that, but it was wrapped with a large red bow and ribbon, and a small festive tag reading "Beckett" was attached to the bow. The ribbon and bow had been supplemented with tinsel. The effect was of a curiously macabre Christmas gift, as if to say 'here, have this strange box which may contain murder weapons or gruesome crime scene pictures – happy holidays!' Esposito noticed Castle go to the coffee machine, and quietly cleared his throat. Ryan looked up, "What, Javi?" he questioned.
"Big bird has flown the coop, I repeat, big bird has flown the coop" responded Javi, trying desperately to act furtive, and mostly failing. Ryan sighed, "What?"
Javi flinched, "Dude! At least try and remember the codes! Castle, Castle has left the bull pen. He looks to be fixing coffee. How about now?"
Ryan considered looking round behind him, but decided that Beckett would notice that and spring them straight away, "Can you see him?" he asked.
Javi looked up, nonchalantly perusing the entire area, looking into the break room as he did, "yeah, dude's messing with the coffee machine. I reckon we've got a couple of minutes before he comes back."
"Shall we do it now, give her a chance to be considering it when he comes back?" asked Ryan.
"Yeah, let's take our time though, make sure she can't hide it from him" smirked javi, a knowing glint forming in his eye.
"Javi, if she kills us, Jenni will never forgive you".
"I know bro, but it'll totally be worth it when they both see what it is".
They both looked up, sat back in their chairs and swung round so that they faced over towards Beckett's desk. The movement was not lost on Beckett, who looked up at them,
"Boys?" she queried, "Don't you have some paperwork to be getting on with?"
"Oh, totally, boss, totally" said Javi.
"But we were just wondering, what presents you would be getting for Christmas?" smirked Ryan, a mischievous smirk making itself known on his face.
"Well I don't know Ryan, these things are usually a surprise. What are you getting?"
"Oh Boss, I can tell you *exactly* what Ryan's getting. I've seen his present for Jenni, and trust me, your boy here is getting la"
"Javi! Shut up!" exclaimed Ryan in horror.
"Yeah, Javi, there are some things I do not need to know. Ever. Understand?" said Beckett, with a little more force than was strictly necessary. Ryan had gone a shade of beetroot. He lowered his voice and whispered to Javi,
"We're supposed to be joshing Beckett, not me"
"Sorry bro, couldn't resist" said Javi, with a soft smirk. "Hey, look's like Castle's just about finishing up in there, let's move".
The boys sat forward, and Javi ducked behind the desk to pick up the evidence box. It was heavy, and he made a small whimper of pain as he lifted the box. Ryan turned toward him,
"Dude, how many times do I have to tell you, lift with your knees, not your back". Ryan scooped down and helped Javi manhandle the box. They moved over to Beckett's desk and thumped it down in front of her. Beckett looked at the box dumbfounded. "What on earth is this boys? Evidence of a Christmas murder?"
"Nah, boss, it's a little something for you" said Javi, trying desperately to cover up how much the lift and shift had taken out of him.
"Yeah boss. We were going through the evidence lock up the other day, and we found this, and well, you'll just have to open it" interjected Ryan, shrugging his shoulders.
Beckett looked at them suspiciously. What had they possibly found in the evidence lock up, and why was it prettied up like Christmas on crack? Beckett stood up and looked carefully at the box.
"Go on boss, it won't bite" said Javi, playfully.
"What won't bite? Am I missing out on something?" queried Castle, who had been walking over carefully so as to ensure no coffee got spilled, a crime for which Beckett would no doubt shoot him.
"Oh no bro, you are just in time" said Javi, the smirk re-appearing.
"Yeah, just in time" agreed Ryan, leaning back against his desk and crossing his arms and legs.
Castle handed the coffee in the blue mug to Beckett, and moved around the desk. He couldn't help but notice the box on her desk. "Ooohh, what do we have here?" he asked, his interest immediately peaked.
"I have no idea Castle, that's why it's all wrapped up and stuff. You know, gifts are usually supposed to be a surprise" retorted Beckett, giving him an eye roll, partially for the sake of it, partially because she knew now that it drove him crazy.
"It's shiny" said Castle "is it a present? Who's it from? What is it? Are you going to open it now, ohh please, please open it now." He was getting excited, and Beckett put a hand on his chest to calm him.
"Calm down Castle, relax. Apparently it's a present from the boys here" she indicated Javi and Ryan, whose focus was now solely on the couple in front of them. "All the way from the evidence lock up, so, no expense spared then" she continued, sarcastically. Castle looked at the tag, "'Beckett', hmm, that's not very personal is it?" he mused.
"Yeah, well, that's just fine as far as I'm concerned" said Beckett.
"So, are you going to open it?" asked Ryan, leaning forward just a little, eager to see what Beckett's reaction would be.
"Oh come on, no. I should leave it for Christmas. Wouldn't want to ruin the surprise" said Beckett, teasing them.
"Oh no, but you won't see the boys at Christmas, and it is all about the giving Beckett, not the receiving" said Castle, pulling a face like that of a small child, trying to convince a parent to give them a treat. Beckett sighed, exasperated, continuing to examine the box.
"Bro, he is doing our work for us" whispered Esposito to Ryan.
"Oh, I do hope so" said Ryan, as they turned back to the pair.
"Ryan, Espo, do you want Kate to open her present now?" asked Castle, as innocently as he could muster.
It was clear to him that the boys were up to something. He had no idea what, but if it would wind Kate up then he was totally in. Oh sure, he'd get some abuse off her later, but if he was very lucky it would be the sort of abuse that ended up with her shirt delightfully decorating the floor of whoever's apartment they happened to be at, with his shirt similarly scattered in close proximity. Castle brought himself back to the moment, having drifted off slightly to consider that possibility.
"Kevin, Javi?" asked Castle.
"Well, we'd totally like her to open it now, we think it's something she'll really appreciate. But we understand if she wants to hide it from you, sorry, us" said Ryan, with an air that suggested he had not just slipped up at all.
Beckett snorted contemptuously from behind her desk, "really boys, what could you possibly have found, in the evidence locker, that Castle shouldn't see?" she asked. Kate had no idea what this box contained. It was bugging her now, really. She just wanted to open the damned thing, see what it was and then get back to her paperwork. But she could also see that Castle was having kittens, and that the boys were up to something, and she didn't want to give any of them the satisfaction. She also knew that Castle was unlikely to shut up until she did. Beckett was also smart enough to recognise that attempt at reverse psychology that Ryan had just slipped in to the conversation. She sighed, and started to fiddle with the tinsel and the ribbon.
"Fine, I'll open it. Just to shut you up though." She started to pick at the decoration, not sure where any of the ends were, "really boys, did you use an entire reel of tape on this thing?" she teased them.
"Hey, we just wanted it to be secure" said Javi, "valuable contents and all in there, very, umm, close to your heart, shall we say". Javi was trying, and largely failing, to maintain a look of innocence. So was Ryan. It wasn't working for either of them.
As Beckett continued to pick away at the tinsel, the ribbons and the bow, Ryan stepped forward and carefully spoke, "listen, Boss, we don't want you to be freaked out by this. We're not winding you up, we just, found this", he wafted his hand towards the direction of the box, "and figured, after your apartment blew up, you, well…." Ryan was stumbling for words, and now Beckett was intrigued, "after my apartment blew up?" she queried. "That was forever ago. What is in here?" she wondered, out loud, to anyone who could hear. Castle was similarly intrigued, but was now standing there, peering intently at the box as if to try to divine its contents. "aahh, come on Beckett, open it!" he exclaimed, "I really want to know what it is. What did you have before in your old apartment, that you don't have now, but want? Or should have. Or need. Which one is it?" he turned to Ryan and Esposito, questioningly.
"Oh, from where we're sat; she wants them, she needs them, and she should definitely have them" said Javi, feeding the birds with Ryan in respect of this response. This was going so much better than they had planned. Beckett now wanted to know what it was, and Castle was totally invested as well. And it wasn't going to be over once the box was opened.
Beckett had finally finished prying all the froufrou from the box. There was now a mountain of tinsel on her desk, shedding its shards everywhere. "Remind me to arrange for you two to do every dumpster dive for the next two months" she said, "look at this stuff, it is everywhere."
"Ah, come on Beckett, get with the festive" said Ryan cheekily.
"Yeah, get with the festive Beckett" said Castle, picking up a piece of tinsel and wrapping it round himself like a giant twinkly scarf of red coloured tin foil. He looked ridiculous, and was rewarded with another Beckett patented eye roll. She was fiddling with the box now, getting close to prising the lid off. And then it was loose, and Beckett tossed it triumphantly to one side before gazing down. Castle had seen the contents first, and looked confused. He turned to the boys,
"Umm?" he questioned them. The boys looked towards Beckett and Castle, a small look of triumph on their faces. Castle looked back towards Beckett, who had now taken in the contents of the box and was turning a deep shade of red, past the shade even of the tinsel and ribbon. "Beckett?" queried Castle.
"Yeah" said Beckett, timidly, her hand reaching towards the top layer of books, her hands running softly up and down the spines. She looked at Castle, "yeah?" she said again, almost choking on it. Oh, those boys, they were so going to pay for this. And then she was going to hug them, because they were right, she'd never got round to sorting this after her apartment, and she didn't know where they had got all these from. Were all of these even still in print? It dawned on her that some of them looked well-thumbed.
"Those are my books" said Castle, "specifically, and if my maths is right, all twenty-six of my pre-Nikki Heat bestsellers. Assuming this runs to two layers?" he looked at Ryan and Esposito for confirmation. They just nodded at him, remaining tight-lipped whilst observing the scene, "I suggest you take a look in one or two of them" said Javi, much of the hilarity slipping away as he observed the scene before him.
Castle picked out one of the books at random, "'At Dusk We Die?' Wow, where on earth did you get this? This is one of the early ones, and not my finest work, although tell anyone that and I will deny it for eternity" said Castle, turning the book over.
"Look inside it bro" said Javi, the mischief back. Castle opened the book and gasped. He showed it to Beckett, who had a sudden dawning moment of realisation, and started frantically pulling all the books out of the box. "'From the Library of Katherine Beckett'" read Castle, his face contorted in a mixture of love and laughter, "Wow, Beckett, just how big a fan are you? And why on earth are these in the evidence locker?"
"From your first case together" said Ryan, "she had us read all of them to get into your mindset. May I suggest you try to find 'Gathering Storm', and before Beckett does" said Ryan, with a wink towards the author. Castle swept his eyes over the books, which Beckett was now frantically checking. He realised that all of them had the book plate attached to them, they were all hers. Oh wow. He knew she was a fan, knew she was a member of his website, still hadn't managed to track down her forum ID yet, but he was still working on it. But this, oh wow, this was immense. She had all of them, even the early, terrible, stuff. He gulped as he saw 'A Rose for Everafter', remembering the dedication to Kyra. Kate was who he dedicated his books to now, a thought that made him smile.
Kate was going to kill them. She realised now that she had never taken the books out of the precinct after their first case together. She recalled, vaguely, seeing Ryan walking round the precinct with several of the books at different times. She had never realised they were still here, and that the boys would have found them after all this time. She scanned the pile, she knew why Ryan was directing Castle to that book, she wondered how long Ryan had been sitting on that particular little fact, and she had to get to the book before he did. Had to, had to, had to. She could feel herself dying of embarrassment. Oh, he was going to dine out on this one for months, if not years. She spotted the book, peaking out from under the battered copy of 'Kissed and Killed'. Now she looked at it again, after all this time, she could see similarities to the cover of 'Naked Heat'. Castle had obviously spotted it as well, and they both reached for the book at the same time. Their hands met, sweeping aside 'Kissed and Killed', both grabbing the cover of 'Gathering Storm'. A small tussle ensued. Castle realised this was ridiculous, "Kate, what are you doing?" he paused, "what's different about this one?" "Nothing, nothing" said Kate, still blushing furiously. She knew, she knew what was different about this one. And she'd never told him. She relaxed her grip slightly, trying to pull off an air of indifference. Castle made her immediately. His eyes narrowed, "oh really, Detective. Well in that case, there's no reason to stop me from looking at my own book, is there?"
"Really Castle, are you that keen to review your own work? Not kept a copy for yourself?" she retorted. She knew she was losing the battle, but she had to maintain dignity, try to salvage some pride from this entire situation. They both stepped back, and Kate was quicker, diving back to the book. Castle was on top of her in an instant, trying to grab the book from her hands, but she was strong, he knew that, and there was no way she was going to lose her advantage now. He had her effectively pinned to the desk as she opened the front cover and glanced inside. She looked up, confused. This was not her book. There was no plate, and, she knew what else should be there that wasn't. Ryan coughed,
"Oh, sorry, that one's not yours is it?" he said, his earlier smirk reforming. Both Castle and Beckett relaxed slightly, but Castle still had her pinned to the desk, tinsel, ribbons and books scattered everywhere making it look like a festive tornado had hit Beckett's desk with devastating precision. His arms were pinning her down. In any other place, this would have ended up with only one conclusion, and even here it still heightened the, tension, between them, still made him realise how lucky he was that he got to touch her like this now, that she wasn't shooting him for his impertinence.
"Oh, hey bro, it must be this one" said Javi, reaching under some papers on his desk and holding up the copy of the Derrick Storm story. "Sorry Beckett, this one must have gotten confused for Ryan's copy" he continued. Ryan didn't look in the least embarrassed. He took the book from Javi's outstretched arm, and opened the front cover. Beckett started to wiggle under Castle, trying to get free. Ryan opened the book, "Yep, looky here, 'from the Library of Katherine Beckett', oh it's a first edition, nice! And look at this", he triumphantly turned the opened book towards Castle and Beckett, "it's signed by the author; 'to Kate, keep smiling, it's cute, Richard Castle'".
Castle gaped, his mouth falling open. He was lost for words, a rare occurrence. "Kate?" he asked, his eyes asking every other question his mouth couldn't. Kate groaned "oh god. Fine Castle, come on, do your worst".
"What? Why would you think I? When did I sign that? How did you? What? When?" He was confused. Kate turned even more scarlet. She answered, very quietly. "Umm, I, umm"
"Speak up Beckett, I want to hear this" said Javi, him and Ryan now back in their chairs, a sense of triumph pervading the air around their desks.
"I queued up, at a signing, at a bookstore".
"Where"
"A Barnes & Noble in mid-town. It was just before I started back at College one fall".
Castle did some maths, took the copy she held from her now loosened grip. He turned it over, looked at the back cover. "I wrote this like, 15 years ago, maybe less, maybe more. When did this come out?" He looked at the inside sheets, this copy, Ryan's copy, was a later reprint, but the information was still there. Kate was still silent. Castle scanned the information. "Oh" he said, "Kate", he loosened his grip on her arms, stood back from her, "Kate, this came out in fall 1999. Was this just before you started at College here?" She nodded, not wanting to open her mouth to speak for fear of what might come out. "Was your dad, erm, were you trying to deal with things by yourself?" He was tender now, the atmosphere changed. Ryan and Javi sensed it too, turning back to their desks, shuffling their papers, now not wanting to listen.
Kate looked up at him, her eyes misting over, "Yeah, he'd just started drinking. I was just back here, he couldn't help me deal. I always liked your books. So even though it felt stupid, I queued up, with all these other women. And they were all perky, and well dressed, well, some of them barely dressed, to be honest. And you were so, happy, so delighted with everything, and I was such a mess. And after what felt like eternity, it was my turn. And some woman called me forward and told me to smile. So I did my best, although I really didn't feel like it. And you asked me my name, and signed my book, and I said 'thank you' and I turned and walked away, and then read what you'd written, and it made me smile, honestly smile, like I hadn't done in so long Castle. And it gave me hope that even though I felt awful, people could still see the old me, the happy me."
Castle pulled Kate to her and just hugged her, holding her close. He heard a sniff coming from her, and carried on holding her. He didn't want her to lose her composure in the middle of the bull pen. She pulled back and he looked down at her, Beckett back now, but Kate still visible. "Thank you for telling me this Kate. Now, have I ever signed anything else of yours that you would like to reminisce about?" he asked, one eyebrow rising in mockery. Kate groaned, "No chance, Castle".
There was an uneasy shuffling from the next desk. Javi and Ryan both cleared their throats, "guys, hey, keep it PG13, please" said Ryan
"Yeah, Gates has only popped out for lunch you know" said Javi.
"Hey, Beckett, I'm sorry if we upset you. We didn't mean to." said Ryan, apologetically.
"Yeah, sorry Beckett" said Javi.
"No, no, this is lovely, thank you so much. You're right, I didn't know how much I had missed these" replied Beckett, composure fully back right now, Kate pigeon-holed back behind the work persona. Beckett gathered all the books up, placing them carefully back in the box. She walked over to Ryan's desk,
"Swap you" she said, holding out Ryan's copy of 'Gathering Storm' towards him.
"Deal" said Ryan, smiling up at his boss.
"Hey, I can sign that one for you if you want?" said Castle.
"Erm, no thanks, I'm good. I think Jenni might have some questions about that"
"Such as 'where's mine?' perhaps" joked Castle. The three boys shared a laugh between themselves.
Beckett took her book back to her desk, her fingers caressing the spine. She looked at the inscription, smiling to herself that life was a very curious thing, and how she had never expected that Castle would now be her boyfriend, the man she loved, the man she had fallen in love with. She looked up at the three boys, sharing their joke.
"Hey Castle, you going to help me life these books to my car later" she asked.
"Maybe" said Castle, "but tell me one thing Beckett, as we're sharing. What *is* your forum ID for my website?"
"Oh, in your dreams Castle, in your dreams" Replied Beckett.
"Hey, remember, my dreams come true" replied Castle, earning himself an eye roll as Beckett put the lid back on the box.
