Greetings, friends!

Maharani Radha, my insanely awesome beta, and myself have decided that there are way too many sucky LotR fics running around. So we have created this manual! The next chapter may be What TO Do In An LotR Fic.

What Not To Do In An LotR Fic

Do NOT make Galadriel all-powerful. She is NOT all-powerful.

Do NOT make a Mary Sue. Ever. 'Nuff said.

Do NOT make the characters OOC. Unless it is an AU fic, in which case, do whatever the hell you want.

In a humor fic, please make sure it is funny before you publish it.

Do NOT do anything that will offend the characters. We have cartoon images of the characters in our heads, and WE ARE WATCHING.

Valar and Maiar can have kids, but BE CAREFUL when you do this because you're on your way to a Mary-Sue. Also, we're sure if your OC is the child of the Valar, then she would most likely stay in Valinor anyway.

Mak shure al ur spelin n gramer n captalzaton iz corekt. sum off us r ocd bout itt.

If you must write a self-insert, PLEASE make it realistic. Would you really be able to immediately beat Aragorn in a sword fight? Didn't think so.

DO NOT WRITE A STORY IN CHAT SPEAK. WE WILL HUNT YOU DOWN.

Do NOT make the Middle Earth characters talk like modern people. (Saying "How come", "like", using abbreviations, etc.) They spoke like people from the 1600-1800's of our world.

Do NOT create an OC that everyone immediately loves.

Do NOT make your elf fairer than Luthien. Luthien is the fairest elf that ever lived. So sorry, you're defying canon and making a Mary-sue in one.

PLEASE don't make the characters fall in love with an idiot.

There really shouldn't be anything that has to do with elves and rape. It's against LACE (Laws And Customs of the Eldar)

If your OC is not an elf, she can't go to Valinor, unless the Valar are willing to make an exception (this only happened with Bilbo, Frodo, & Gimli because they showed extraordinary courage in battle and Frodo freaking destroyed the Ring. Sam as well, it says in Appendix B of RotK that he went in 1482.)

WATCH THE TIMELINE

The one problem with a 10th walker is that the company was 9 for the 9 Ringwraiths/Nazgul. If you mark your story as AU, you can do this.

Don't overuse simple words, "said" especially.

Do NOT write ANY "love at first sight" fics. EVER. It doesn't exist. Sorry.

Do NOT ignore the summary box. It will feel lonely and neglected.

If Legolas falls in love with your character at first sight- it is time to rethink your character... and possibly your life. -This is from Rachel Ewok.

So, what do you guys think? Feel free to submit any suggestions/things we forgot.