Author's Note: Just a little drabble from Lucius Malfoy's point-of-view after the events of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. I hope I do a good job capturing Lucius's conflicting, somewhat confusing thoughts. Reviews are loved, just as long as they are constructive.

I am not ashamed.

I cannot be ashamed.

Do you think I'm evil?

Or are now expecting some sob sad story?

I will not reveal myself fully.

There will always be a part of me that I will always keep hidden.

You wonder why I am not ashamed.

Why am I not speaking the words that everyone wants to hear, the words that could possibly keep me out of Azkaban?

Because I refuse to be ashamed.

I cannot be ashamed.

I am a Pureblood, superior to everyone else.

I have been well-taught, very well-taught.

I have suffered for my blood.

Don't come any closer, I'm not going to tell you all the nice details that make for such a wonderful, heart-wrenching story.

I like to keep some things hidden, you see. I believe I have already made that clear.

Just know that I have suffered for being a Pureblood and that my lessons in blood purity have often been painful.

I have always been at war because of my blood, since the moment I was born.

At times I have been at war with myself because of my blood.

But don't expect me to elaborate on that.

Just know that I have screamed and bleed for my wonderful blood.

I think I've gone far enough on that matter.

I still have my pride, you see.

I will not be broken by my past.

Why am I not ashamed?

Because I cannot be.

Why?

Because if I was to be ashamed, then everything I have fought for, everything I have suffered for, it would have all been for nothing.

I cannot be ashamed.

I don't know what I'm going to do now. My side has lost the war. My life now feels so meaningless.

What have I been living for all these years?

I will stop there. I'm not going to start feeling sorry for myself. Proper Purebloods do not feel sorry for themselves, you see.

Proper Purebloods do not feel sorry for anyone.

I am alive, as are my Narcissa and my Draco.

So many others are dead.

Even the Dark Lord is dead.

Yet we are alive.

And we will rise again.

I will somehow find a way to move on with my life.

I have to find a way to move on with my life.

I cannot break now.

I have survived too much to break now.

I am still proud to be a Pureblood.

I have to be proud of my blood.

My entire life has been devoted to my blood.

If I was to be ashamed of my blood now, my entire life would have been for nothing.

I refuse to be meaningless.

Therefore, I refuse to be ashamed.

I don't care what you say or what you do to me.

I still will not be ashamed.