I don't even know what this is. electric gurrl said, "How will I know who to flirt with if I don't rank them?" and so I wrote this for her. Dedicated to all girls who ever went to an all girl's school.
"I went to an all girl's school, okay?" Ty Lee whines, clenching her fists. Sokka flinches at the sight of her tensed knuckles. "I'm sorry that they didn't teach us how to interact with the opposite gender!"
Sokka holds up his hands in surrender, eyeing Ty Lee with a nervous expression. He has never liked the idea of being alone with her, and today he is tasked with keeping an eye on her while they are in the Fire Nation. Because apparently Suki deems her less than trustworthy, which Sokka is pretty sure stems from jealousy. They do have good chemistry.
"I was homeschooled by my Gran Gran," Sokka says feebly, trying to change the subject.
"Yeah, well you had to, I don't know, like, hunt arctic seals and tie knots! We had to learn, like, geography and stuff," Ty Lee responds sharply, crossing her arms. She looks relatively huffy and Sokka wonders what is bothering her so much. "That is so much harder. If Mai didn't do my homework I would probably be some kind of coal miner."
Sokka laughs and she narrows her protuberant eyes at him. He coughs, cringing.
"I wasn't joking," Ty Lee responds and Sokka grimaces with an open mouth.
"You're in a pretty bad mood today, aren't you? Alright, I'll be the bigger person. I'm sorry for making fun of you for trying to kiss me and everything. We were hormonal teenagers and I shouldn't have been so handsome," Sokka says, bowing pointedly and mockingly.
"You're not that handsome. You're like an eight."
"That's a pretty high number," Sokka says with a smug self-satisfied smirk. "Wait... you rate boys? I thought only guys did that."
"Ugh, you're like a two in personality," Ty Lee sighs, rolling her eyes so forcefully she thinks they will pop out of her head.
"I have a wonderful personality." Sokka steps very close to her and the moment she squints at him, he doubles back several steps.
"You're just sexist because girls beat you up all the time and you come from a backwards culture."
Sokka rolls his eyes. "So this rating thing...?"
"Yeah, I rated you a nine at the time but now that I know you it's more like an eight," Ty Lee says, clearly deep in thought. "We were going home to the Fire Nation after you broke the drill, and so we rated how cute you were."
"Did your... friends rate me a nine too?" Sokka asks, looking oddly hopeful. Ty Lee suppresses laughter.
"Well, actually, Azula rated you a four... but I think she was just having a bad day. I mean, Mai thought you were an eight, and she only scored Zuko a six..." Ty Lee says, her eyes screwed up in concentration.
"A four? A four? I would rate her at least a seven," Sokka grumbles, frowning faintly. "Wait? Zuko is not a six. Zuko is an eight, a ten if you subtract the ponytail."
"The ponytail?" Ty Lee cocks an eyebrow. "You have a ponytail too."
"It's a Warrior's Wolf Tail," Sokka responds loudly, touching his ponytail defensively. Ty Lee scoffs.
"Right. And this is my, uh, ugh, I had something so smart to say about my braid." Ty Lee stomps her foot and Sokka takes a deep breath. "I'm not good at those... word things. I talk with punches and kisses."
"Which is why you're a nine."
"That's so sexist and ─ wait, a nine?" Ty Lee grins, distracted from her tirade about Sokka's sexism. "Thank you. I think I'm bumping you up a rating."
"So what do you rate Zuko?"
"I dunno, like, four. Maybe a three."
"That's harsh."
"It's not harsh. His face is all weird and hard to look at. I rate Aang like, maybe, a five. Katara is definitely an eight. Toph is a, like, six."
"And what's Suki?"
"Ten, without make-up. Six with make-up."
"You've put a lot of thought into this." Sokka rubs his neck, chortling.
"How am I going to know who to flirt with if I don't rank them, Sokka?" Ty Lee crosses her arms so tightly he thinks she is going to explode. Or maybe combust.
"It's kind of cold and impersonal. And... judgy."
"I went to an all girl's school, okay?"
