100 Fics of Akatsuki, un!

By Tia!

My Mission? This is an LJ fanfic challenge. IT WILL BE AWESOME. Akatsuki in all its awesomeness jam-packed into 100 FUCKING FICS. Dare me to write that much? I DARE YOU TO READ THAT MUCH.

FIRST UP: Deidara joins Akatsuki, and hates it already.

Deidara joined the Akatsuki knowing that he'd hate it like a bitch. Solo was the way he rolled, for after the first time he joined an organization he got felt up one too many times. He totally didn't see what it was that leering, fellow evil-doers saw in him. It's not like he was a simpering little girl, and damn if he wanted some gross pedophiles pawing at him like that. Besides, he totally didn't swing that way.

Once Pein had initiated the newcomer, Deidara grunted and hurried into his newly assigned room, doing everything he could to avoid the eyes of his new teammates. Don't think he hasn't heard of Orochimaru, and how that man was renowned for pawing at and "experimenting" with underage male bodies. Lord help Pein if the rest of the members were anything like him, Deidara would blow everyone the fuck up and be over with it.

"Un," said Deidara, taking a look around the room. It was a mess of limb-shaped wooden parts, and do-dads, do-hickeys, and thinger-magiggers. There were containers of scorpions, spiders as large as his hands, and a few unidentifiables that sent chills up Deidara's spine. His mouth hands have chewed on poisonous things and bugs before. Yah, so not fun.

In conclusion? His roommate was a total freak. He requested that he be partnered with a true artist and no less, but all he has seen so far is unkempt asshattery. He didn't like where the beginning of this whole new relationship was going, but then again Deidara didn't like much of anything.

"So you're the girly brat I'm to be partnered up with," said a deep voice from the door. With a wooden arm in his hand, Deidara turned toward the irate looking… thing that he guessed was supposed to be his partner in crime. While beggars couldn't be choosers, it wasn't as if Deidara begged to join this stupid organization. More like forced by an evil, wicked man who was tentimesmoreffeminatekthx, but let's not go there.

"I'm Deidara, and I have the power to blow this fucking room to smithereens if you ever say that again!" said Deidara, tossing down the arm of some puppet in process and stomping it into a million pieces.

That day Sasori of Red Sands learned a sore spot of Deidara's, and Deidara learned a sore spot of Sasori's. NEVER mess with the puppet master's works of eternal beauty.

So "Hiroku" shot a needle out of a random part of his body, which rendered Deidara paralyzed, but still conscious. Deidara cursed a million times at this ugly what-cha-ma-call-it that he now shared a room with. Curse fate for all of its wrong-doings and utter bullshit.

"Violate my precious work again and the next one will be deadly, Deidara," spat Sasori, and that is how he and Deidara started off on the wrong foot.

THE END OF DRABBLE ONE

Remember, if you read it you should review it. Authors (especially me) like that a lot, k.