Retribution

By

Denise

I look down at the helpless creature lying before me. When I first saw him crawling pathetically through the sand I felt pity for him. I have all too familiar memories of crawling myself, dragging my horribly damaged body to the golden sanctuary of the sarcophagus and the miracles held within its enigmatically ornate shell.

I really need to stay away from those things. I wasn't kidding when I told Shyla I used them too much.

My pity was replaced by disbelief as I realized WHO was crawling through the sand.

Apophis.

Jack summed it up well. Holy buckets.

In the rush and confusion of the attack I simply followed the rest. I think it thought it was all a dream. The day we captured Apophis was supposed to be at the end of a battle. We were supposed to triumphantly capture the bad guy. Not find him dying in the sand, unable even to walk. Begging for mercy.

This is so anti-climactic. Imagine what Star Wars would have been like if Luke had found Vader dying and nursed him back to health.

I followed Teal'c back through the gate, still feeling like I was in a wacky, wacky dream. When he asked for sanctuary little…make that HUGE alarm bells started ringing.

Apophis would no more ask for help than Jack would start an encounter group for PTSD suffers.

Apophis…make that the devil himself was whisked into the infirmary in a flurry of nurses and orders.

We silently filed out of the gate room. Personally I kept waiting for the gamekeeper to pop up and tell me I could fix it.

But he didn't. It was real. Apophis WAS here, in our infirmary. I finally had my chance. I had been fantasizing about this day for over a year.

In my dreams he would be on his knees before me, vanquished. He would tell me where Shau'ri was, beg me for mercy, convince Amaunet to leave her. Then Shau'ri and I would go to Abydos and retrieve her son from Kasuf. I wouldn't care who the father was, as long as it was part of her, it was enough. Then we could be happy, standing among the shifting dunes of Abydos in the setting sun. She could come back to Earth and work with me in translations. It would be perfect.

Instead I stand over the bed of a broken figure of a god. He's dying. Not quickly, in a blaze of glory, but a slow painful death as his host's abused body slowly fails.

I press him for information he won't share. Why not? Why keep the secret? What does he have to gain? He's dying. He has nothing to lose…that's it. Power. As long as he has something we…I want, he has power over me. But he shouldn't. He is powerless now, lying strapped to the bed, his broken legs pinned and useless. He can't get up, can't even turn over. There are no Jaffa here to do his bidding. How the mighty have fallen.

I look around the room. The nurse has her back to me, writing something down. The SF's are standing by the door, alert but giving me what privacy they can.

I look down at the reticent creature before me. It would be so easy. So incredibly easy to have my retribution. He owes me. He owes me so much. He took my wife away from me, took my brother. He killed us, would have killed the Nox. He's enslaved and tortured countless thousands in his centuries of existence.

It was on board his ship where Jack made the decision to leave me behind to die. A decision that still haunts him. Hell, haunts me.

It would be so easy. Just hold my hand over his mouth, or squeeze his thin throat. He doesn't have the strength to resist. Not that he could fight much as restrained as he is.

No one would blame me. It wouldn't be murder; it'd be justice.

Retribution for all he's taken from me.

Oh my friends would be shocked…but they'd understand. Sam understood when I killed the Goa'uld larvae on Chulak. In fact she never told Jack about what I did. It's our little secret.

And Jack…I've seen the look on his face. Give him half a reason and he'll be in here guns-a-blazin.

Teal'c. His only reaction would be anger. Anger that I didn't let him get his licks in.

My fingers tense and my arm twitches. I should do it. It wouldn't be murder, it'd be retribution. And what WOULD they do? How could they prosecute me for killing a creature that doesn't officially exist?

General Hammond…I heard the tone in his voice. He hates Apophis almost as much as I do. I think his only concern would be explaining it to his superiors. Heck the man is dying, what does it matter what the cause is?

Janet…Janet will be a problem. That darn doctor mentality of hers won't let her hurt a fly, not without pumping it full of morphine first. Unless of course it was Nirti in here. If it was her lying in this bed I have a funny feeling her Hippocratic oath would be getting more than a little bent.

So…the general would understand…eventually. So would Jack. Teal'c would probably be annoyed that he missed it and Janet would hate me.

I think…I think I could live with that.

Stop debating it. Just do it. Stop being a victim. Take the power. Have your retribution. Put an end to it. Put him out of his misery. It would really be a mercy killing. He's dying, you'll just be making it happed a little sooner is all.

One little gesture and it'll all be over. Just end it. Right here. Right now. Have the last word for once. Damnit Daniel! Stop being a wimp. Just do it! Daniel do it!! Daniel…

"Daniel?"

I turn at the sound of Sam's voice. I cross to her, leaving Apophis.

"That thud on the iris was a Sagan box. The Tok'ra are coming here," she says, motioning for me to follow her. I look back and meet Apophis' gaze. I see the knowledge in his eyes. He knows. He knows that I could have killed him. That I was…am capable. He knows I'm no longer afraid of him. My demon is banished. He no longer has power over me.

And that is retribution enough.

fin