Birchfall's POV
I wanted him. I loved him. But he just couldn't see that. He is the only one I want but I can't have him. Why? Because it's so wrong? Because no one else will understand? Because I just cant have his heart? I have wanted him for moons but she had him wrapped around her claw. She stole him from me, she knew I liked him.
How? I don't know. But even though she is gone he still lingers for her, talks about that disgusting excuse for a she-cat, like she was the love of his life. I want to cry in front of him and explain the things she kept hidden from him, and the lies she could tell him with a straight face. But I always bit back my tears and snide comments of the she-cat. But now it's just too unbearable to keep in, I have to tell him soon….
I walked with him in the forest as dawn approached, our pelts brushing.
"What did you want to talk about Birchfall?" Berrynose asked me quietly.
We both paused as I tried to find the words to tell him.
"Well, I know you loved her Berrynose and I am greatly sorry that you lost her, but don't you think you should move on?" I tried to tell him the truth, to tell him everything that wretched she-cat put him through but I couldn't get my self to spit the words out.
I wouldn't be able to take the look of pain that would sit on his face after the truth came out. I couldn't bring myself to make him hurt that much and even worse I couldn't live knowing I was the one that made him so sad. I think it might just be better if I kept the words of disgrace to myself. Well at least until I know we can make it through that together.
"Well I…. I just don't know, I don't think I could love again. And even if I could I don't think anyone in the clan likes me."
I was brought back to reality as he spoke, and then stunned by his words. And in disbelief I said. "How could you think that no one in the clan would like you?"
He laughed quietly, and then answered. "Well I don't know if you've noticed but I don't have the best temper in the clan. Most of the time they are yelling at me to get out of their fur or telling me to just keep my mouth shut."
I thought to myself a bit. Yes he does have a temper, but he does it just to hide the pain and sadness buried and hiding deep inside of him. I wanted to be the cat that he could always come to with his troubles and know that no matter what I will always love him for who he is. Then I spoke,
"Well I don't think you're to bad tempered, it's just your personality. And any cat who wouldn't want you as their mate doesn't know what they are talking about. I bet there is at least one cat in the clan who likes you." Once I stated the last part I really hoped that he hadn't gotten a clue of how I felt about him. But as I looked up at him he tilted his head and I saw curiosity flicker in his eyes as he asked me his next question.
"Really? How would you know that? And does someone in that clan actually like me?" His eyes glinted with hummer as he suddenly dashed off before I could even answer his questions
"Wait!" I screamed as I followed the cream furred warrior through bracken and bramble bushes. As I crashed through them without stopping, just trying to track his scent, I could feel the thorns digging into my side and ripping through my pelt. I better not come out of this with out any fur. I thought to myself. Well since it's for him its okay. I suddenly came into a clearing and paused. I sniffed the air trying to catch his scent some where but I ended up with no luck.
I looked around the clearing and waited for the warrior to come out, but he didn't show up.
"Berrynose! Where are you?" I yelled I listened for a few moments and when he didn't show up I yelled again
"Berrynose! This isn't funny, if your hiding please come out!" I continued waiting and listening and sniffing, but he didn't show up. I ran straight forward through more bracken bushes. And paused when I found his body, laying against a maple tree, blood oozing from his flank and deep scratches that lingered all over his body. I rushed over and licked his cheek
"Berrynose, are can you hear me?" I asked but he was unconscious. I grabbed him by the scruff and dragged his limp body back to camp. His breathing shallow.
As I entered the camp Brambleclaw and Jayfeather rushed over and in unison asked "what happened to him?"
I looked up at them slightly so they wouldn't be able to see the tears that had begun to swell up in my eyes. "I don't know." I answered in just above a whisper so that my voice wouldn't crack. I did this too him. I thought to myself. If I hadn't tried to talk to him about any of this. He would be okay. Please let him be okay! I silently begged StarClan, as I headed to the warriors den, because I had no strength to do anything else.
