Before you start reading I want you to know, that I have my finals right now and because of that decided to stop writing for a while. I guess that's the best solution because I don't want you to have to wait weeks between the updates. I think that I will be able to restart writing in November.
The pain was intense. She couldn't say what hurt more; the actual hit or the fact that the person she loved the most on the world would do something like that to her.
She sunk to the ground, starting to sob and burying her hurting face into her hands.
But why was she even complaining? She had definitely deserved that blow after what she had said to her.
Two days earlier:
"Erm... it's possible that I may have by mistake said that if she had any doubts she should flee," Callie admitted.
"What!? Why?" Arizona and Meredith asked in the same moment.
"Well, I kind of said that..."
I can't believe Calliope had done something like that! Arizona thought angrily. She knew exactly how unsure Bailey was about the wedding the last few days. How could she say something like that to her?
But the situation worsened greatly when Ben entered the room and seemed to have heard everything they had just talked about.
What if Callie really has ruined the whole wedding? I think I wouldn't be able to forgive her something like that... She's a horrible person! Arizona raged internally.
"How nervous was she?" the harsh and at the same time disappointed tone in Ben's voice made Arizona jolt out of her thoughts. When Callie wasn't able to answer his question, Meredith took him by the hand and led him out of the room, leaving Arizona and Callie alone.
Callie glanced at her girlfriend in shock. "Do you really think I destroyed the wedding with what I said to Bailey?" her voice was broken and tears started to well up in her eyes.
What is wrong with me? How could I even think for a second that it was Callie's fault? She is the most wonderful woman I have ever met and she definitely has a heart of gold. She would never do something like that, and she is NOT a horrible person.
Callie was relieved when Arizona took her into a warm embrace. And while she hugged her beautiful Latina tightly, Arizona was shocked at her earlier thoughts.
What the hell is wrong with me?
They had waited two more hours for the wedding to start before they decided to go home.
Callie and Arizona drove home in silence, Callie still thinking about the possibility that she had ruined a wedding and Arizona trying to create some order from the thoughts in her mind.
"Callie," Arizona said in a warm tone, "stop worrying about it. I know there is an explanation for why Miranda didn't show up. And I know that it's not you or what you said to her."
"I really hope you are right about that," Callie replied, giving her wife a thankful glance before a smile spread across her face "But aside from that, you really look amazing in that dress baby!"
"STOP IT, STOP IT, STOP IT!" Arizona shouted all of a sudden.
Callie slammed on the brakes in shock. Thank God they weren't on the highway but in a small street with no cars behind them.
Stupid bitch! Arizona thought angrily. How can she say that right now? I am trying to comfort her and she is bringing up this topic again!? It is the first time in months that I didn't think about this stupid leg, so what was she thinking?
"Arizona, what the hell? Did I say something wrong?" Callie was still shocked at her wife's sudden outburst and tried desperately to figure out what she possibly could have said to trigger it.
Did she say something wrong? Doesn't she get it? She is getting on my nerves with all her questions. That look on her face every time she sees my leg and the constant attempt to make me forget that I am ugly... I hate her for that!
"I hate you Calliope!" The four words flew out of Arizona's mouth more like a whisper, but harsh and cold as ice.
Callie stopped breathing and froze in her seat. Arizona looked Callie in the eyes and saw her break. Tears welled up in the beautiful black eyes and streamed down Callie's cheeks. When she slowly let out the breath she had held in, she began to shake.
The hurt in her wife's eyes brought Arizona back to reality.
What just happened? Did I really say that to her? I've never seen her broken like this, not even when we had our fight in the bathroom a few weeks ago.
"Callie?" Arizona reached out her hand and touched the now sobbing Callie on her cheek, wiping the tears that fell from her eyes like raindrops from the sky. "Calliope, I-I didn't mean it. I don't - I don't know why I just said that. I am so sorry honey!" Arizona began to tear up as well.
How could I hurt Calliope like this? she wondered brokenly. She's my everything, yet I shout at her and say things I will never be able to take back. But why? I don't want to do it. It just happens, like I am someone else for a moment and don't have any control over my body or words.
"Callie, look at me!" Arizona took Callie's chin and pushed it up so that Callie had no choice but look into those blue eyes of her wife. "I don't know what has gotten into me, but you have to believe me that I could never hate you. I love you more than anything in the world. Maybe I'm sick or the stress of the last months is finally taking it's toll on me. I really have no idea what is going on with me today. I am so, so sorry honey. I love you!"
Callie still couldn't say anything. How? Why? What had she done to Arizona? Maybe Arizona was just exhausted because of the last few months, but exhaustion was nothing new and she had never acted like this before.
Without looking at Arizona, Callie restarted the engine of the car. They had to get home, as they couldn't stay in the middle of the road for the whole night.
The silence during the ride home was the most horrible either of them had ever experienced.
