Hey! Not my first fan fic by a long shot, but my first lemon so R and R is valued.

you know the drill Disclaimer: I don't own Death Note or anything about it. Please don't hurt me.

Light strode down the hallway to L's room, his head held high. It was over now, he had won, his name was cleared, and in a few days if all things went according to plan L would be dead. He let a smile creep across his face, now that he had finally regained his memory he felt like himself again. Finally remembering all that he had worked so hard for and how far he had come was his greatest satisfaction at the moment, he could remember all the goals and ideals, all the sleepless nights, all the sanity he had thrown away for the greater good. It gave him great pride to know now that his dream was finally in sight. Half way though his train of thought he paused and stood still in the hallway, his eyes widening.

He had remembered something else, something that had happened when all his memories were erased. L…

"I loved him didn't I? No, that's impossible, but…"

More memories began to surface now in his brain, like debris after a storm.

"We were more than just friends, weren't we?"

Light remembered now all the time he had spent just looking at L at first, beginning with annoyed curiosity, turned in to desire, turned into love. He remembered now of being scared by this love, how corned and alone it made him feel to love really for the first time, and how it was with something he could never have. It toyed with his mind even more than the Death Note had. It had brought Light almost to the breaking point, and then…acceptance.

"He loved me back…L wanted me the same way."

Now the memories became more vivid, more real. Light could feel L's heart beat in his chest, he could feel his cold hands in his own, and he could taste L's lips…

"Sweet like strawberries…"

Light stumbled against the wall, these memories were too much for him to take they were all coming back so fast. What was he to do now?

"Could I still kill him now? Now that I remember that I…love him?"

The Kira side of his brain lashed out.

"Yes you fool, of course you can! You hate him remember? He stands in the way of a perfect utopia, your real dream!"

"But why must he die?"

Light thought back

"There must be another way."

"There IS no other way!"

Light took a deep breath in and fought back the tears that were slowly welling up in his eyes.

"That's right, there is no other way and in the end justice is more important than love…But that does not mean I cant see him one more time as a friend rather than an enemy, right?"

He rose to his feet and continued down the hall, the red slowly disappearing from his eyes as the tears receded.

--

L stood at his window looking out at the city lights below, they had never seemed so beautiful before, but he supposed all things seemed beautiful to one who was about to die. He was sure now of Light being Kira, in fact he had always been sure of it despite the logical evidence against his theory, he had always known. And with the recent discovery of the Death Note he was sure of one more thing, he would be next to die. L sighed, he had hoped that Light would have been changed by his love, that he would stop killing and things would go back to normal, but the chances of that were now at almost 0. L knew now that he was going to loose his life, goal, and love to Kira, and L hated loosing.

"Light, why did it have to end like this? If you were at least arrested we may not have been separated forever. But no, I know you too well by now, being arrested would be humiliating and I know that you would rather have your love die than be humiliated."

He hoped that Light would at least have the heart to give him a peaceful death…

Knock! Knock! Knock!

"Probably a member of the task force wanting to review evidence. Come in!"

The door opened but L did not turn around.

"L?" Whispered Light in an almost child-like voice

L spun around

"Light? W-what are you doing here?"

There was a look on Lights face that L had not seen for the past few days after the discovery of the notebook. His face was more innocent, almost more pure. It was the face he had fallen in love with in the months they were bound to each other.

"I wanted to look over some evidence with you L. You see the notebook has-"

L had walked across the room and silenced Light by placing a finger on his moving lips. He had to keep his head down to disguise the tears that were forming in his eyes.

"Yagami-kun I want you to listen to me very carefully: I don't want to talk about the case tonight. I don't want to hear about Kira, or the note book, or death; I want us to pretend that none of that exists. Yagami-kun just for tonight I want us to pretend that nothing is broken."

With that he embraced Light, nuzzling his face into Light's shoulder to keep from sobbing. Light was taken aback, he had not expected this open a display of emotion from L, but he soon recovered and embraced back stroking L's raven black hair.

"Shhh. Ryuzaki, its ok we don't have to talk about the case. I actually made up what I was saying about the case as an excuse, what I really wanted was to see you Ryuzaki."

L clung to Light tighter and sobbed

"Light…tell me you love me."

A tear rolled down Lights face as the question reached his ears.

"Do I? Do I really love you? If all that I remember is true, if what I am feeling right now is real then,"

"Yes Ryuzaki, no matter what I will always love you."

"But Kira will be the one to stab a cold knife in your back."

Light lifted L's head up and paused to look into his eyes, they were so sad and had the same dark circles underneath them as he always had. Without even thinking about what he was doing Light leaned in and kissed L on the lips, he tasted like all things sweet. He felt L kiss back and run a hand through his auburn hair.

"You see?"

L's mind told his heart

"He loves you, he really does. He won't betray you, he wouldn't be that cold. He can't be Kira!"

"Is that what you really think?"

L's heart shot back

"Or is that what you want to believe?"

Light began to move down L's neck, biting his earlobe. This felt so right, thought L, how could this be fake, how could this whole display just be an act?

Light paused; he could feel L trembling in his arms.

"Ryuzaki, you're scared, why?"

L couldn't bring himself to answer. He lowered his eyes and put his hands into his pockets. Light leaned in, putting his face right in front of L's.

"You still think I'm Kira don't you?"

L said nothing but kept his eyes down. Light continued.

"You still think after all this time and all this evidence, that I'm kira? Why? Do you want to believe, is that it?! What do I have to do to prove to you that I'm not, L?"

L was hurt more than he thought he would be by Lights use of his title.

"Don't think for a second Light-kun that I want to believe you are Kira, But I don't know what you could do to convince me otherwise."

L looked up into Lights eyes, the expression on his face was gentler than he had expected.

"You know Light-kun,"

L said

"You have magnificent eyes, they are almost like cold fire.Yes like fire trapped in ice…"

Light couldn't help but blush as a smile sneaked across his face.

"Ryuzaki there is nothing to be afraid of, this will all be over soon."

"That's what I'm afraid of." L thought.

L stepped closer.

"Light I-"

Now it was Light who silenced L with a finger, leaning his face in grinning at L's widening eyes.

"Shh, I like your Idea, lets not talk about Kira. Lets leave much unsaid tonight."