Chapter 1

It was past the middle of the night and all the men were sleeping, except for one. As he was walking, his raven black hair floated behind him. He gazed up to the dark clear sky, the beautiful stars and the full moon. Unconsciously he walked into the direction of Chizuru's room. He wasn't looking in front of him, so he didn't see a person standing on the porch. The person heard footsteps coming her way, thus she turned her head to look who was walking towards her. "Hijikata-san …" His name escaped her mouth before she could even think about it. Hijikata stopped walking and looked at her.

"Chizuru, what are you doing here?"

"I couldn't sleep," she said and looked in front of her again.

"I have the same problem." Hijikata walked towards Chizuru and stood still next to her, looking up at the stars.

"Why?" Chizuru asked.

"All the paperwork and stress disturbed my sleeping rhythm."

Chizuru nodded understandable. "My father had sometimes the same problem."

Hijikata glanced at Chizuru. He saw that she was griping the railing with both hands and that she was trembling a little.

"And why can't you sleep?"

Chizuru didn't answer directly. But Hijikata wasn't going to ask again. He knew that she was searching for courage to tell him, so he waited patiently. After a few minutes Chizuru moved her hands closer to each other. "I … had a nightmare," she started. "About my father and brother. They came to the HQ and asked me to come with them to a safer place for me. I refused. But they tried to forced me and threatened me … and then I woke up."

Hijikata didn't expect that to be her nightmare, because they weren't alive any more. "Chizuru, are you afraid that they will really come?"

"… I don't know."

Hijikata was surprised by her answer, she knew that they were dead. "What do you mean?"

"I have a feeling that they will really come, even though they aren't here anymore." She was scared. Hijikata saw that and wanted to ensure her that she would be safe here and that everyone in the Shinsengumi would protect her. "You don't need to be afraid, we will protect you with our lives."

She looked up to him. She knew that it was true what he said, but still … the feeling that she had was too overwhelming. What Hijikata saw in her eyes was something he had never seen before: his ensuring words didn't help her. He didn't know what to do, he was lost for words.

"Hijikata-san," she whispered after a while. "I don't want to be alone."

"You're not alone."

"I mean … tonight …"

It took a few seconds for Hijikata to realize what she meant. He wanted to help her and if this was what she wanted then he would sleep together with her. "Okay, shall we go then?" Hijikata took a step back.

Chizuru nodded and turned around. "Do I need to take something with me?"

"No, I think it would only be a nuisance with bringing it with us and bringing it back."

Chizuru nodded again. They walked away. Chizuru closely behind Hijikata. A minute later they arrived at his room and went inside.

"You can leave the door open, so we have some light in here."

Chizuru waited next to the door while Hijikata searched for something in the closet.

"What are you searching for?" Chizuru asked as Hijikata still hadn't found it.

"Ah." Hijikata stood up and turned around to face her. "I was searching for a futon, pillow and blanket, but now I remember that Souji spilled tea and food on the futon and blanket, so I only have an extra pillow … Do you mind to share?"

Chizuru slightly shook her head.

"I can also sleep on the floor, if you're too nervous or scared to share," Hijikata offered.

"No, I don't mind," Chizuru said with a trembling voice.

"Are you afraid or cold?" Hijikata asked worriedly.

"Both." Chizuru looked at her feet. She was a little bit scared of sleeping so close to him, but she knew that he wouldn't do anything to her. And she didn't want to be alone.

"Come." Hijikata walked over to her. "You can lie down first."

Chizuru walked towards the futon and sat down.

Hijikata closed the door and lied down next to her. "Lie down, Chizuru, they really won't come." Chizuru obeyed. With Hijikata next to her it was easier to fall asleep. Hijikata, on the other hand, couldn't sleep anymore. He was thinking about how to convince her that she was safe here.

Two hours passed and Hijikata was still awake. Chizuru had turned on her side and faced him. She looked so peacefully. But then she started to tremble again. Hijikata thought that she had it cold, so he wanted to pull the blanket further over her. But as he reached out, something caused Chizuru to scream and sit up. Hijikata pulled his hand back and looked surprised at her. She was breathing heavily and her eyes were wide open.

"Chizuru …" Hijikata said as he sat up.

Chizuru turned around slowly and looked at him.

Hijikata saw how scared she was. He now knew that talking to her didn't help, so he tried something different. He spread his arms and said: "Come, Chizuru."

Chizuru shoved towards him and hugged him. Hijikata adjusted their position so she would sit between his legs. "It's okay, I'm here. No one will get a chance to hurt you." He felt his clothes getting wet, but he didn't care. They stayed like that for several minutes. When she stopped crying he pulled back and looked at her. She still looked beautiful, even with red eyes and wet cheeks. He dried her cheeks with his sleeve and brushed a strand of hair out of her eyes. "Was it another nightmare?"

Chizuru nodded.

"With the same people?"

Chizuru nodded again.

Hijikata sighed deeply. "I assume you don't want to sleep anymore. How about I make some tea for you?"

"You don't have to …" Chizuru said while looking up at him.

"Chizuru, you always make tea for me to calm me down or to give me a break between all the paperwork. So now it's my turn." He stood up and offered her his hand. Chizuru took his hand, but she didn't let go. They walked to the kitchen where Hijikata prepared tea for both of them. As he was done they sat down on the stairs from the porch. Chizuru moved closer to him until their arms touched each other.

"Can you tell me what exactly happened in your dream?"

Chizuru stared into her tea. "They killed me," she whispered.

Hijikata didn't say anything. He just put his arm around her and gave her a soft kiss on her head. Chizuru blushed deeply, but Hijikata couldn't see it because of her hair that was falling forward.

"Shall we stay here the rest of the night?" Hijikata asked after a while.

"Yes."

"Don't fall asleep, okay?" Hijikata said with a playful tone in his voice.

Chizuru giggled a little. "Don't worry, I won't be sleeping for the next days."

Hijikata laughed at her answer. "That applies to me as well then."

It was already morning as they heard heavy footsteps coming their way. They both looked to their right to see Kondou. Kondou stood still as soon as he saw them. "Toshi and Chizuru?" he asked as if he couldn't believe they were there.

"Yes, Kondou-san, it's us," Hijikata said.

"What are you two doing here?"

"We couldn't sleep."

"How long have you been here?" Kondou walked towards them and sat down next to Hijikata.

"A few hours, I think."

"So long?! Why?"

"Can I tell him, Chizuru?" Chizuru looked unsure at Hijikata.

"Or do you want to tell him?"

"No, you can tell him," she whispered.

Hijikata looked back at Kondou. " While I was taking a walk I saw Chizuru and she told me that she had a nightmare. She asked if she could sleep with me, but after a few hours she had again a nightmare. And I decided to drink some tea and we stayed here."

"You were taking a walk in the middle of the night?"

"Yes, I couldn't sleep, so I thought that maybe that would help me."

"Sometimes it helps indeed. And what were your nightmare about, Chizuru?"

"… About my father and my brother."

"They tried to get her away from here in her first nightmare and in the second one they killed her," Hijikata explained.

Kondou looked worriedly ahead. "Is she scared?"

Hijikata nodded.

"I don't think there is anything we can do for her."

"Except for not letting her alone," Hijikata said.

"Yes, except for that." After a few minutes of silence, Kondou stood up.

"Over an hour is it dinner time, you should dress up before then," he said and left. When he was out of sight Hijikata took the two cups and stood up. Chizuru turned around to see him walking into the kitchen and returning a few seconds later. She also stood up and they walked back to HIjikata's room. Chizuru was holding his hand again, even though she was embarrassed to do so. She hoped that Hijikata didn't mind. As she glanced up to him she saw a light pink blush on his face. He wasn't used to this as well.

Once they were in his room, Hijikata gathered his clothes and went behind the folding screen. Chizuru stood next to the door, waiting for him to finish. She was talking to herself in her head, but suddenly her thoughts stopped. She heard something. "H-Hijikata-san?"

"Yes?"

"… I hear something …"

Hijikata stopped in his movements and listened if he also heard something. He stepped away from the screen, with only a hakama on.

Because of that and the sound that was coming closer, Chizuru froze.

"Someone's coming, you need to hide Chizuru," he said and walked over to her. He saw that she didn't move, so he put a hand on her back and pushed her forwards. "Hide behind the screen."

Chizuru did what he said without thinking. The moment she stepped behind the screen, the door opened and Okita came in.

"Did you forgot how to knock, Souji?" Hijikata said irritated, because Okita always came in without knocking.

"Why would I do that? We're both men, Hijikata-san, so you shouldn't be shy about standing half naked in front of me."

"Shut up! I'm not shy about something like this."

"Even if it was Chizuru-chan standing here instead of me?"

A light blush appeared on his cheeks as he thought about what happened just a few seconds ago.

"Ooh~ Hijikata-san is blushing~," Okita said teasingly.

"Souji, enough." Hijikata took a deep breath to calm down. "Why did you come here?"

"Oh yeah, I almost forgot," he laughed. "The meeting is moved to tomorrow. I don't know why though."

"Okay." Hijikata knew why Kondou had done that, but he wasn't going to tell Okita.

"Then I'll be leaving." But as he stepped out of the room he turned around again. "Have you seen Chizuru-chan? She's not in her room."

"I haven't seen her, maybe she's taking a walk."

"That's also possible," Okita said and walked away.

Hijikata closed the door. "Never knocking and always leaving the door open," he said to himself. "Are you okay, Chizuru?" He walked over to the screen and looked at her. "Chizuru …" Her eyes were wide open and watery.

"It's okay, it was just Souji." Hijikata stepped closer to her and reached out to her face. She didn't back away, so he laid his hand on her cheek. She looked up to him and the tears that she wanted to hold back fell down, over his hand. Hijikata took another step, letting just a few inches space between them. He bent forward and gave her a soft kiss on top of her head. "It's okay," he said again. To be honest he wanted to hold her, but he also didn't want her to feel anymore uneasy. So he stepped back. Chizuru dried her tears and stepped aside. Without saying anything Hijikata put on his other clothes and they left his room, going to Chizuru's room.