In this fan fiction I pretended that Tris had died, and Tobias has written a letter to her. This is my first fan fiction, so I hope you like it!
Dear Tris,
Many people have said that death is the greatest fear of the human race. That everyone rejects the idea of the moment when the blood goes still in our veins and the 'thump thump' under our chest ceases to be.
I always saw this fear in people eyes; in that small window to the soul where the grim reaper took residence and haunted endless nights of contemplation. 'What is death like?" "What do we see?" "Where do we go?" "How will it happen to me?"
For years I wondered why I did not ask these questions myself. Why I only had four fears, instead of a possible five.
Tris, when I saw you lying on the ground that day, your body motionless and still, I realised why.
It was not the death of myself that I feared.
It was the death of the people I loved.
It was the death of you.
I'd never known of this fear until when it happened. Until when I ran up to your side and everything felt like it was in slow motion and my head was spinning. I was almost angry - "why has this happened?" I had thought. "This can't be real."
But when I could feel no pulse from your wrist, nor breath from your mouth, all the anger disappeared.
I waited for the tears to come, for the frustrated scream to rise from my throat, but nothing came. All I felt was empty, because I had lost the biggest piece in my life.
You.
I was so lucky to love someone the way I loved you, Tris. I was so lucky to have the knowledge that as long as you were by my side, I would go on in life.
But after you passed, I realised that perhaps it was all unluckiness.
Because why let a flame flicker in the wind?
Why save a baby chick without it's mother?
Why have something so precious, so special and so beautiful in your life, when in the end, it will just go? Like you?
I remember seeing you the first time. You were like light in the darkness. Like an angel in a nightmare.
I remember how terrible you were at fighting that first training session.
I remember how you offered to take Al's place in front of the knife target, and the nip I gave your ear.
I remember the horror, and the desperation in your eyes when you were dangling over the chasm.
I remember the guilt and the sorrow your expression held the day they found Al's body.
God, I remember our first kiss; the smooth surface of your lips, that have touched mine too little times.
If you were still here, Tris, I would kiss you one thousand times a day to make up for the ones we would never have when of us passes.
But even that wouldn't be enough.
Because I want you forever.
I guess forever is gone now.
Tobias.
