Just an idea that I had. If enough people like it I'll continue. :)
Starts before Santana and Brittany started dating / before Santana came out. Santana is dating Puck. They're in Glee club. Quinn isn't pregnant. Mostly from Santana's POV.
Disclaimer: Sadly, I do not own Glee or any of it's characters. You can tell because Brittany didn't graduate.
Rated T right now but may change to M in later chapters.
Love. It's a funny thing, really. It sneaks up on you when you least expect it, grabs you by the shoulder and covers your mouth to muffle your screams. It's deaf—it doesn't hear you beg it to leave, doesn't hear that you don't want it. It's blind—it doesn't notice your tears or see the pain in your heart, where it resides. It's cruel. It'll throw you on the cold stone floor with no padding to break your fall and no blanket to comfort you. It's like a boomerang. It comes back no matter how many times you throw it away. And it is absolutely and completely overpowering.
"Hey, San?" A familiar voice called from the darkness, pulling Santana from her half-slumber. She didn't need to turn around; she already knew who she'd see. There was only one other person in the room with her, after all.
"Mhm?" She hummed, too tired to form any actual words.
"I liked this," Brittany told her. The pang of emotion in her chest woke Santana up fully. She had liked it too—maybe a little bit too much. "We should do it more…" Brittany continued. Santana didn't know what to say. Sex with Brittany had been great but she felt… dirty. She felt like she had taken advantage of Brittany. She felt wrong for doing it with another girl, especially her best friend. But on the other hand, above all of that, she felt so so good. Eventually, she turned to the blonde and smiled. Brittany smiled too and Santana felt a needle jab her heart. She was so innocent, even now. "I agree," Santana said. Brittany's smile got wider.
For the rest of the night, Brittany kept trying to cuddle with Santana but Santana refused, lying as far away on the bed from Brittany as she could. She didn't cuddle after sex. You only cuddled after sex that meant something, and this didn't mean anything. It was just fucking, Santana told herself. Then why didn't it feel like that?
o-o-o-o-o
Santana woke up early to Brittany's arms around her. Sneaky bitch, she thought but couldn't help but smile. Brittany's face was calm as she slept and her breathing was silent and rhythmic. In and out, in and out. She looks like an angel, Santana thought but then quickly pushed the thought away. She had to get out of this bed. Now. She gently pulled Brittany's arms from around her waist and slid out of the bed, putting her pillow for Brittany to hug instead. With one more lingering glance at her best friend, she slipped out of her bedroom and walked down the hall to the bathroom. She heard Brittany's parents talking quietly in their room. Santana hadn't heard them come in the night before so they must have come home after she fell asleep. She quietly walked to the bathroom and shut the door behind her.
There was one thing that she didn't get. Why was it such a big deal to her? She had sex all the time and she didn't give a rat's ass about any of the guys that she had done it with. Maybe it was because Brittany was like a kitten to her. A cute, innocent kitten. You weren't supposed to have sex with kittens, and you definitely weren't supposed to enjoy it. Oh, she knew that Brittany had had her fair share of meaningless sex too but that was different. None of the guys saw her like Santana did—she had meant nothing to any of them, but she meant so much to Santana that it scared her. You weren't supposed to care about your fuck buddies. She sighed and stared at her reflection in the mirror. Her hair was a mess. She picked up a brush that was lying near the sink and was about to brush her hair with it when she noticed the blonde hairs on it. Sighing, she gently rested it back on the same spot and smoothed her hair down with her fingers instead. That's better, she thought to herself. Before she could start worrying again, she heard a soft knock on the bathroom door. She waited. Was it Brittany's mom? Her dad? "San? Are you in here?" Brittany. Of course. "Yes." She opened the door, looked at the girl standing there, mumbled "morning" and walked away, back to Brittany's room. "We need to get ready for school," she said as she walked, not looking back. She could almost hear Brittany's frown.
A/N: That wasn't long at all, sorry. Please bear with me. Hope that you enjoyed it anyways and please review! I'll continue this story if people like it :) Also, please tell me if there are any mistakes and I'll fix them.
