I Love My Job II
"RUN! RUN! HE'S COMING, FRED! HURRY UP!" James yelled. Crazy kids.
"Oof. Oh man." Fred muttered, crashing right into me. James skidded to a stop right behind him.
"Wait, how'd you...?" He started, astonished. He spun around. "But you were..." He looked at me again. "How'd you get here so fast? You were right behind us before!" He told me incredulously.
"That's for me to know...and you to find out, Mr. Potter." I told him, keeping my voice level and trying to hold back a smirk.
"HEY! That's not fair!" He whined.
"Mr. Potter, as your teacher, I would advise you to not whine at me." I told him, still trying to keep my face straight. It was proving to be very difficult.
"But-" He started. I raised an eyebrow.
"Yes?" I asked, pretending I was Snape, mad at my least favorite student. It did make everything easier.
"But, I'm Harry Potter's first son!" He whined. "You know me! You were there when I was born! Come on, there's got to be some kind of exception? Right?" He asked hopefully. I rolled my eyes.
"Jam...I mean Mr. Potter," Whoops. "Please refrain from breaking down. You need to remember, you don't need to know anything you don't have to know. Curiosity killed the cat!" I quoted lamely.
"But I'm not a cat! That's Minnie!" He replied cheekily. Ooh. That wasn't smart.
"Excuse me, Mr. Potter, what did you just call me?" Professor McGonagall's voice came from behind them. The two boys slowly turned around.
"Er...Nothing?" James tried sheepishly. I shook my head. That wasn't going to slide.
"Mr. Potter, two nights of detention, Mr. Weasley, one." She told them, almost tiredly.
"Wait, why do I get two and he gets one?" James protested. I bit back a scoff.
"Because he didn't call me 'Minnie'" Professor McGonagall replied with a small eye roll. "Now leave before I give you more detention!" She threatened. They started running in the opposite direction. "DON'T RUN!" She yelled after them. They slowed down to a very quick walk. I rolled my eyes.
"Nice timing." I complimented.
"Of course, it does help that I had this!" She said, fishing in her robes. "I mean, I've been waiting to see this thing for decades! And finally, these two come along, carelessly leaving it open everywhere!" She said, finally pulling out a piece of parchment.
"Yeah, and they borrowed the cloak before, too, and they ran off so fast, they forgot to take it!" I told her, taking it out. "That's how I ended up in front of them!" She looked at me thoughtfully.
"Do you think we should give it back?" She asked uncertainly. We looked at each other, and then the map and cloak.
"Naahhh..." We said together.
I Love My Job
"OW! Rose, you stepped on my foot!" I heard a voice complained. Al Potter and Rose Weasley? What were they doing?
"Well, why was your foot under my foot?" Rose retorted angrily.
"Oh, you two should stop complaining!" An annoyed voice, which I recognized as Scorpius', replied. How were they all fitting under that thing?
"Okay, okay." Al muttered. I rolled my eyes. Didn't they know that with the noise they were making could be heard? The Cloak only makes them invisible…
"Remind me why I agreed to this?" Rose whined.
"Because you love me?" Scorpius chirped hopefully.
"OH Merlin! Guys, not in here!" Al said, sounding disgusted. I stifled a laugh. "And that's my cousin you're talking to, Malfoy." He added protectively.
"Shove off, Potter." Scorpius snickered. I heard a loud thumping noise.
"GUYS! We are crammed in here! We're 16! Not 11!" Rose said rather loudly. And I thought she had some sense…she inherited more Ron than I originally thought…
"Yeah, and that's the real reason we're under this thing. We need to get away from O.W.L.'s." Scorpius said.
"So where are we going?" She asked. I decided it was time to step in.
"Nowhere, if I can help it!" I said, finally making them aware that I was here. But, it felt weird, because I couldn't tell where they were. It felt like I was talking to an empty hallway. There was silence. I had a feeling they were trying to escape at this point. "Homenum Revelio!" I said, pointing my wand at where I thought they'd be. I saw a looming shadow form around the area where I heard them previously. I guess they didn't move like I thought they did. They probably figured they'd get in trouble tomorrow anyway. That's right. They can't avoid me forever! I walked over to the shadow, feeling impeccably like Dumbledore. I stood right in front of the shadow. "Take the cloak off or I do it for you." I said, as monotonously as I could muster. But, it was difficult since I just compared myself to Dumbledore! To my surprise, they did take it off, but that was probably Rose's doing. They smiled up at me sheepishly. I resisted the urge to roll my eyes.
"Would you believe me if I said I was kidnapped?" Rose asked. Even with the little lighting the corridor, I could see her face reddening and a small smile.
"Yes, I probably would."
"What?" Al protested. "She willingly came with us! She can't just get away with it!" He whined. I rolled my eyes.
"What's with you Potters and whining?" I retorted.
"Professor, I've been asking myself that question for years." Scorpius told me. Al leaned over Rose and hit Scorpius on the head. Rose stepped back in fear. In retaliation, Scorpius hit him back. And then that started a hand-slapping fight, the type that two of the sixth year Gryffindor girls got into yesterday.
"Will you guys grow up?" Rose demanded, getting between them once more. "This is why I don't hang out with you when you're together."
"Yeah, well you think I like hanging out when you two are together? Snogging left and right! Can't keep your hands off each other? Because I want to see my best friend's hands on my cousin." Al scoffed.
"Haven't we talked about this?" Rose asked with an exasperated sigh. This was getting interesting. "We'll try to refrain from…physical contact," Scorpius snickered at this, and Rose hit him, "We'll keep our hands off each other if it bothers you so much." She told him. Wait. They're having a full conversation right in front of me! I shouldn't be letting them do this! McGonagall would not be very happy with me right now.
"The conversation stops here." I said firmly. "Rose, Scorpius, as prefects, you should know better than to roam around the hallways. Al-…bus," Whoops… "Potter, I expected better from you!" As soon as I said it, I knew it was the wrong thing to say. The three burst out laughing.
"Expect more…from me? Yeah, right!" Al laughed. Rose was holding on to the wall at this point.
"Al? Expecting better from him? Hogwarts' biggest player since Sirius Black? That, Professor, is a joke." Scorpius laughed. Ooh. These kids slip when they laugh…maybe I should get them to slip more… But not tonight. I've done enough. I cleared my throat loudly and they stopped laughing.
"Detention for Al and Scorpius, Al, you'll be with Professor Boot…he mentioned he might need help with preparing for his First Year Transfiguration lesson tomorrow night, and Scorpius, you'll be with me in the green houses…actually, no. You'll be with Professor Flitwick! Yes, you'll be with him, doing whatever he asks. Tomorrow night, too." I told them both. Their faces fell.
"Our worst subjects? What?" They asked in unison. That was creepy.
"And what about Rose?" Al asked, "Doesn't she get detention?" He asked. I raised an eyebrow.
"And risk one hundred questions from both her parents? Nope. You'll be doing two extra nights of rounds this week." I told her. "Now go, the three of you." I told them, pointing to the direction of Gryffindor Tower. They walked away quietly, yet a bit dejectedly. I felt a little guilt, but it was forgotten when I noticed they left the Invisibility Cloak on the ground. I picked it up and I was about to consider whether or not to give it back when Rose came back.
"Yeah, uh…came back for this…" She said gesturing the Cloak. I raised an eyebrow.
"And what makes you think I'm going to give it back?" I asked. She raised an eyebrow.
"Because you're too soft." She told me as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. What? I'm not soft!
"What? No, I'm not!" I told her. She rolled her eyes a little.
"Whatever you say, Professor." She smiled. "So giving a night of detention and two more nights of rounds and not taking points for sneaking out after curfew isn't soft?" Oh man, she was right!
"I can be harsher!" I insisted. She shook her head. "What? Yes I can! I bet I can be bolder!" She raised an eyebrow.
"Is that even allowed?" She asked. I considered for a moment.
"I'm sure the Headmistress wouldn't mind bending the rules a little." I told her, the corners of my mouth twitching into a smile. She grinned.
"It's on. You have to be as bold as…Professor McGonagall…no Snape!" I was glad she fixed it to Snape. I couldn't be as stern as McGonagall. But Snape? Yeah, I could purse my lips at bad students, give students random detention, and walk around like an overgrown bat! I've been practicing in my private office for years!
"And if I win, you need to…steal the Cloak for me anytime I ask from September to January next year!" I told her. She thought about it for a moment.
"Sure. And if you lose?" She asked. Oh, poor Rose. Bad choice. Number one rule of placing bets: Never let the other person decide what their own punishment is. I'd have to tell George to teach her that.
"I'll let you off patrolling from September to January." I told her. She nodded.
"One rule: You can't go easy on one house." She told me. I nodded. This was going to be fun. But then I realized something.
"But I'm not going to go around calling students things like 'stupid, little girls', or being really obnoxious to everyone because that's just evil. Oh and, I'm not going to completely hate on the Weasleys and Potters. It's just not right…" I reminded her. She considered for a moment.
"Fine. And this needs to go on from now until the end of the school year. All the time. Even when you're not teaching. It'll end at the last class of the term." She reminded me.
"Done." I confirmed. "Oh, and don't tell anyone."
"Of course not." We shook on it and she left.
I just placed a bet with a student.
I Love My Job
"Okay. Turn to page five hundred and fifty two." I told my seventh year class, pursing my lips slightly. I was pretending to be Snape, using the example back in third year. He was substituting for Lupin, and wanted to send a message to people that Lupin was a werewolf. Good times. Luckily, James raised his hand.
"But Professor, we've already covered it!" He told me. I smiled on the inside. Now's my chance. I swiftly walked up to his desk, and tried to keep a straight face as I brought it down near his.
"I said, 'Turn to page five hundred and fifty two.'" I repeated with as much malice I could muster, and showering him with spit in the process. I walked back to the front of the greenhouse, making sure I swished my cloak in the process. When I looked back at my class, I found all of them staring at me, completely astonished…with the exception of James, who looked the most startled.
"What do we have here, Mr. Weasley?" I asked Hugo Weasley. I was trying to look intimidating. But, it wasn't working too well. He wasn't easily fazed.
"It's the plant? All potted…and stuff?" He asked uncertainly. He exchanged glances with Lily, who was sitting across from him.
"No! You've done it all wrong, boy!" I tried not to laugh here. So many old memories…It does help Hugo happens to have Ron's horrid clumsiness with Herbology. I glanced over at Lily and I got a very good idea. Which also brought back good memories. "You! Miss Potter!" She looked up, very confused. "I bet you thought it'd be funny, huh? Watching Mr. Weasley plant his plant wrong?" Wow, that was weird to say. "It was to make your plant look better! 5 points from Gryffindor!" I said, wagging my finger in her face. She just raised her eyebrow. It was annoying that she was hard to get to…she was too much like Ginny. But the good thing was: the rest of the class looked beyond scared. And the better thing was that this class was shared with the Slytherins. Normally, I wouldn't be celebrating this fact. Now, all I had to do is wait.
Luckily, I got my chance that same class.
"GOYLE! You blundering dunderhead! Don't you know you're supposed to put on your gloves?" I asked, honestly mad at this kid. I didn't mean the language, since I was once like that, too, but putting on gloves when working with these plants was first year knowledge! I walked down to him and shoved the gloves in his face. "Use them!" This was a third year class, so they already looked pretty confused, and some, scared. Not something you expect out of Slytherins and Gryffindors. "Stupid dunderheads… Why am I still teaching here?" I muttered while still standing in front of him. The Gryffindors snickered. I swished my cloak and walked back to the front of the room, then realized I almost forgot. "And twenty points from Slytherin!" I added. The Slytherins groaned. "Shut your mouths or it'll be more!" I threatened.
A week passed with the bet. I placed more students in detention this week than I had in all my previous years combined. I sent out a letter to one of the Weasley parents or Harry twice a day and I managed to really nail that over-grown bat move. Even McGonagall had to admit I pulled it off! I'd say I had a pretty productive week. Only one more week left! I was going to go all out.
I have the Seventh Year Gryffindors and Slytherins for the last time ever. It was definitely the best class. I had Fred and Louis Weasley, James Potter, and his girlfriend who was the red-headed Head Girl. The Gryffindors in this year, McGonagall was sad to see them go. She said it was like a reminder of the Marauders and Lily Evans-Potter mixed with Fred and George. Sadly, the Slytherins were a bit of a bore in this class. The third and fifth year ones were much better.
"Professor Longbottom, am I doing this right?" Louis Weasley asked, raising one hand high in the air, and using the other to poke the plant.
"Stop it, stop it!" I yelled, hurrying over to him. It was a good thing no one in this class knew the first thing about this plant. I could make stuff up. "If you poke it, it will bite you. And you'll go to St. Mungo's for plant poisoning!" I lied, hitting his hand away from the plant.
"My apologies." He said solemnly, avoiding eye contact with me. I almost laughed at that. I yelled at some Hufflepuff a few days ago for saying 'I'm sorry', so everyone was saying 'my apologies' instead. "So how do you do this?" He asked. Next to him was Fred, who was absolutely rubbish at Herbology.
"Why don't you ask Mr. Weasley?" I told him, hoping he'd take the bait.
"I did just ask you!" He replied, but then quickly realized what I actually meant. But, he did still fall for it. I feigned anger.
"MR. WEASLEY! I do not need your cheeky, obnoxious remarks!" I barked. The entire class was silent, and Louis was turning a bright shade of red. Fred and James were clearly trying not to laugh. "DO YOU THINK SOMETHING'S FUNNY?" I yelled at them. Their faces fell.
"N-No, sir." They stammered. This was too much fun.
"AND YOU!" I said, turning around to face a Slytherin who was smirking, along with his friend. "ALL 5 OF YOU! I cannot believe I am getting this behavior from seventh years! In the real world, they don't take this type of behavior!" It was true…might as well teach them a lesson while doing this, right? But the yelling was a lot of fun, definitely the best part of this entire thing, even if Hannah says it's bad for my health. I wanted to take points off, but if I did, there was a chance Slytherin would overtake Gryffindors in the House Cup, and I wasn't going to let that happen. "Go back to doing your work!" I told them all, at loss for another punishment. I walked back to my desk, to observe what was going on from there.
"No, no, James! You're doing it all wrong!" Leah Anderson told James a long while later. She was James' girlfriend.
"Then how do I do this?" He whined.
"Stop whining! You know how much I hate that!" She barked back. I was glad she started something; I was worried I'd have to stop being Snape before I got another chance with this class! I smiled, but then noticed some Slytherin in the front looking at me. Ooh, he wasn't supposed to catch that smile. Luckily, I'd be able to return to my normal self before he could go and tell his friends. I glared at him and he quickly returned back to his work.
"But Leeaahhhh-" He whined even louder.
"James. Sirius. Potter." She seethed. He winced. "Stop whining." I rolled my eyes. I'd love to see the day she got James to stop whining…he was a Potter.
"I'm sorry…" He muttered, hanging his head shamefully. I shook my head. She had him wrapped around her finger. It was very sad to see. I saw Fred and Louis, who were across from them. They were whispering too quietly and too quickly to be talking about Herbology. And their identical, mischievous grins proved it. I saw them slip out their wands from their inside robe pockets. They muttered something and gave their wands a small flick. I debated stopping them, but I really wanted to see what they were doing. Suddenly, James and Leah started dancing. Fred and Louis burst out laughing and high-fived each other. The entire class stopped to see what was going on.
"FRED!" James yelled. "You know I hate dancing!"
"Yeah…that's exactly why I did it…what other reason is there?" Fred replied as James nearly crashed into the plant.
"Make it stop! I'm going to crash into the poisonous plant!" James said, looking terrorized. Crazy children. I can't believe they actually believed that 'poisonous plant' nonsense.
James was now taking the opportunity of his forced dancing to dance with Leah. They looked like they were having fun…and I didn't want to ruin it, but I needed to be like Snape. Maybe I'd walk extra slow so they'd have as much time as possible. But that would be very un-Snape like. I sighed. I'd have to do this.
I quickly strode over to where a crowd was quickly forming around them. I felt even worse, knowing what I was going to do. But, I needed that invisibility cloak. I'd make it up for them later.
"Miss Anderson and Mr. Potter!" I barked. Their faces fell. They couldn't stop dancing, obviously. "What are you doing?" I demanded.
"We're dancing, professor!" Leah quipped. I nearly forgot to act like Snape. Leah, the goody-two shoes of their year was being cheeky. What was James doing to her? I wasn't the only who was surprised. James, Fred, Louis, and most of their Gryffindors had their mouths open in shock. "Oh, close your mouths!" She snapped at them all. "I'm dating this prat!" She motioned towards James, or at least tried to, "Clearly I'm not as innocent as you all think I am!" She started turning a little red.
"Yeah, especially with all the things you and James do in that Head dorm…" Fred snickered.
"You told them?" Leah asked James incredulously, but she saw he was wearing an identical expression of confusion and surprise.
"NO! I don't know how they found-…Al lent you the Cloak, didn't he?" James guessed.
"Mate, you're smarter than you come off!" Louis said, trying to clap a moving James on the back, but ended up missing.
"Why, why do you want to see anything that goes on?" Leah asked, trying to avoid the plants, and turning redder as they talked about it more.
"Well, it makes for good blackmail." Louis shrugged. I figured it was time to step in. I always let them have their little conversations…I needed to get over that.
"Weasley, Potter, Anderson!" I didn't want to say Weasley twice; that'd be awkward. "Stop talking about your personal lives. This is class. That is not of concern now!" I snapped. "Anderson, Potter! Stop dancing!" I commanded. James rolled his eyes.
"See professor, we can't." James replied. "We don't have our wands with us." He replied. I looked at Leah. She nodded her head. I shook my head. Always carry a wand with you. Number one rule. Well, it was back then…
"Fine, I'll do it." I muttered. I took out my wand, muttered the counter curse on both of them and they stopped dancing.
"OH FINALLY!" James yelled out, reaching down to massage his legs.
"Mr. Potter. That outburst was unnecessary. You have detention. With Filch. Tonight. Be there at 8." I told him. He looked at me in complete surprise, but unfortunately, chose not to say anything.
This is it. Last class of the term. Last time I'll have to act like Snape, and then I'll get the Cloak for 5 months next year! And the best part was: the class was with my favorite trio.
"I must admit, you're doing pretty well, Professor. Even if I do have to steal the Cloak for you, it'll be worth it!" Rose said as she walked into Herbology. I glared at her, but I was flattered by the comment.
"Miss Weasley, sit down. Did I ask you to talk?" She just gave me a look and then went to sit down without another word. Within two minutes, the greenhouse was filled up with my fifth year Gryffindors and Slytherins. They all probably heard I gave Lysander Scamander a detention for being late to class yesterday. It was unheard of for Lysander to get a detention. He was exactly like Luna. He was apparently 'inspecting the Nargles'. He was still convinced they exist.
"Sorry we're late, professor!" Al and Scorpius said, quickly coming in and taking their seats next to Rose. She gave them a very annoyed look.
"Why are you late to my class?" I barked. They exchanged a glance.
"We were held back by Professor Boot!" Al said, being the quicker thinker of the two. I rolled my eyes. That wasn't true. We both had a free period and usually spent the time swapping stories about the kids and the latest gossip. Of course McGonagall didn't appreciate it; she said we gossiped like old ladies. But I knew it was just because she was always left out of it.
"I, like everyone in this classroom, know it's not true, so I think I'm going give you three nights of detention for next year, and Scorpius!" I didn't want to take away points; the Slytherins were too close to beating us!
"Wait, he's giving me Scorpius?" Al whispered to Rose. She winced.
"Albus Severus Potter. Another detention!" I barked. He gave me a guilty look. "As I was saying, Scorpius, for being late, just don't do it again." I told him.
"Wait, wait. So you give Scorpius a warning and me four nights of detention?" Al asked incredulously. "Is this because he's a Malfoy?" He demanded, eyebrows furrowed.
"POTTER!" I barked. The entire class jumped. "Two more because of your cheek!" He opened his mouth to say something, but Rose stepped on his foot, so he ended up gasping in pain instead.
The rest class went by silently, which was unfortunate; I wanted another shot at being like Snape before I had to give it up! Not a single student spoke up, which was amazing. The only three teachers I had that were able to keep a class silent at all times were McGonagall, Snape and Umbridge. I hadn't been given the opportunity to make fun of Rose's tendency to act like Hermione when she knew the answer to a question. I was guessing she was avoiding answering questions in class for that reason.
"I GOT IT!" Al randomly shouted.
"Mr. Potter!" I warned.
"YOU'RE ACTING LIKE SNAPE!" He shouted. Oh man…he was on to me! I glanced at Rose. In the second that I did, by the shake of her head and her confused eyes, I could tell she didn't tell Al…but then how'd he find out?
"Potter, I'd appreciate it if you sat down." I told him icily.
"No, no, see, it's exactly like Uncle Ron said Snape used to act! You're giving spontaneous detentions, taking large amounts of points off of Gryffindors, you haven't washed your hair in two weeks, you're sweeping around here like an overgrown bat, you're picking on Potters, you're favoring Malfoys, it all makes sense!" He exclaimed. Man, he was good. For being a player as Scorpius suggested two weeks ago, he was pretty smart. "Wait!" His face turned to a look of disgust. "You're not in love with my mum, are you?" He asked, his pitch escalating with each word. I nearly laughed at this point.
"I don't know what you're talking about." I told him, feigning ignorance.
"Al, just sit!" Rose hissed. She probably didn't want to ruin the entire thing. I was too close.
"And need I remind you, Potter, I have a wife!" I told him, holding up the hand with my ring on it.
"Right." He sat down dejectedly. I should have predicted that out of all the students here, Al would've figured out what I was doing.
The last bell rang and the entire class erupted into cheers.
"YES!" I whispered to myself. The classroom cleared out within the minute and only Rose remained.
"I must say, that was very good, Professor. Definitely worth it!" She congratulated me.
"Thanks, Rose!" I smiled. It was nice being my usual self.
"September to January…the cloak will be yours when you ask." She confirmed with a nod. "I'll see you at the feast, professor." She was about to leave, but I called her back.
"Wait!" I yelled out. She stopped in her tracks.
"Did you tell Al about the bet? How'd he guess?" I asked. She shook her head.
"He's very wise. He's like Uncle Harry in that way." She smiled.
"Alright then…I'll see you at the feast, Rose." I told her. She smiled and left. When she was out of ear shot, I pumped my fist and yelled, "YES!" as loud as I could.
I just won a bet with a student. I'm going to have THE invisibility cloak whenever I ask for it!
I Love My Job
A/N: Many of the readers from the first I Love My Job asked for a sequel...so here it is! Hoped you liked it!
REVIEW PLEASE!
Love,
SAM :)
