(A/N: Idk, I got bored so I decided to do a short little Twilight interview. My friends and teachers have been wondering exactly what I daydream about in Science, fanfics of course! Not my best work, but this is one of my more random daydreams… anyways, it's better than watching an old video about AIDS and guys with huge funky glasses from the 80's, xD If people reply and find this funny I may write another one for Harry Potter or Eragon… If you like this read Christine Wilke's fanfics for what not to do to the Eragon characters, if she ever gets back online we'll have to make an Eragon interview together! She also loves Harry potter to, so there's another possibility. Thanks for all of the nice reviews everyone! My cat was sitting on my desk reading the reviews with me, so flames are allowed, but beware, my fat Himilayan may EETCHU! Please R&R!)
BETWEEN THE LINES TALK SHOW
Katy Alcott: Good morning, viewers, and welcome to the Between the Lines talk show!! I'm your host and interviewer, Katy Alcott!
-Cricket chirping-
KA: calls to the side Joe, where's that little button thingy that has the audience noises?
-Murmuring from backstage-
KA: What!? America's Funniest Home Videos is borrowing it? Pfft, that Bob Saget isn't even funny.
-More murmuring-
KA: I know the other guy took over, but he isn't funny either, and I don't really care that you've been mourning over the cancellation of Full House for the past fourteen years. Get a life; it's back on Nick at Nite anyways…
-More murmuring-
KA: Good I'm glad you're happy now – Wha? We're live? Oh crap, umm… Sorry about the interruption, viewers—
-More murmuring-
KA: It doesn't matter because we only have 3 viewers, what!?
-MORE murmuring-
KA: The producer, my grandma, and some old guy in his underwear that lives in his mom's basement? Oh, hum, Hi, Mamaw! –Waves at camera- Sorry, I know I'm not supposed to say the word 'crap'… hehe…
-MORE MURMURING-
KA: Okay, sorry, we've wasted too much time, now we'll go to our commercial break, but when we get back we'll show you our guests for tonight's show! …
-Extended silence and MORE murmuring backstage-
KA: We suck so much we don't have any affiliates or any funding or anything? Whoops, sorry Mamaw.
-MORE CRICKETS!-
KA: Sure, we have cricket noises but no audience applause. Stupid Bob Saget… Sorry Mamaw! Erm, anyways, let's meet our guests, Stephanie Meyer's Edward, Jacob and Bella from Twilight, New Moon and Eclipse!!
-Edward and Jacob and Jacob walk out followed by more crickets-
KA: Wait, where's Bella?
Edward: She's going into labor.
KA & Jacob: WHAT!? HOW'D THAT HAPPEN!?
Edward: Well—
KA: Okay, just shut up, Edward. Please, we have children watching.
Edward: I thought your youngest viewer was the forty-year old perverted guy in his underwear living in his mom's basement.
KA: Perverted?
Edward: He—
KA: No, no, I don't want to know. But anyways, my producer is 38 so HA! Wait, why aren't you with Bella to comfort her?
Edward: I'll know when she's almost ready...
-Jacob growls-
KA: Okey-dokey then, give her my best. Anyways, time for the first question—
Edward: Your Guardian Angel by Red Jumpsuit Apparatus.
KA: I didn't even ask the question yet! Wait… oh yeah, you can read minds, okay then, Jacob?
Jacob: I can't read your mind. -.-;;
KA: Right, right, okay, what's your favorite song?
Jacob: -starts humming song from Advantix commercial-
KA: What?
Jacob: I said 'There ain't no bugs on me. There ain't no bugs on me, there may be bugs on some of you mugs, but there ain't no bugs on me!'
KA & Edward: o.0
Edward: You're an excellent singer, Jake; I'd love to see Simon Cowell rip you to shreds if you auditioned for American Idol.
Jacob: What? That's mean; Billy says I'm a pretty singer.
KA: Okay, ANYWAYS next question – WAIT EDWARD!
Edward: It's a question for Jacob anyways.
KA: SHUT UP!! Sorry Mamaw. Okay, JACOB. Ahem, what would you do if you imprinted on a guy.
-Emmett bursts out laughing behind Katy-
-Katy screams-
KA: ACK! Where did you come from?
Emmett: Hehe, I'm taking Bella's place.
Jacob: Ew, that's odd.
Edward: Yeah, so is you imprinting on a guy.
KA: Just answer the question!
Jacob: Who says I haven't already?
-Emmett and Edward almost die laughing-
KA: W-T-C?
Jacob: Wait, that came out wrong. –Pulls out 'Bad Comebacks for Dummies'-
KA: Erm, while you're looking that up, I guess I'll ask "Bella" his question.
Edward: -falls off chair laughing- Good luck, Emmett!
KA: Well, sorry, this is just the question in my script. Okay, "Bella", being perfectly honest, have you ever had any "special contact" with any other men?
Emmett: Are you accusing me of being gay?
KA: No it's supposed to be a question for—
Emmett: Because if you're calling me gay—
KA: NO! Please don't hurt me! –Cowers-
-Jacob snorts-
Emmett: Shut up dog, you just admitted you were gay, poor Bella.
Edward: Would you shut up, Jacob?
Jacob: I didn't say anything.
Edward: No, it's your stupid fantasies, and this time with—
Jacob: No, it's not like that, I swear! I was thinking about Bella—
Edward: What!?
Jacob: And then she just mentioned men and my brain just—
KA: ARGH! I QUIT! You guys are complete IDIOTS! I thought you guys were so pwnful in the books, but no, I think Stephanie Meyer's awesomeness just made you look good. I QUIT!
Edward, Emmett, and Jacob: …
-Katy stomps off stage-
Edward: She didn't even get to my question… I'm hurt…
-Everyone stands awkwardly on stage a moment-
Emmett: There's still ten minutes left until they go off air…
Edward: Crap, here I come Bella! –Dashes off stage suddenly-
-Emmett and Jacob remain awkwardly on stage-
Jacob: Now what do we do?
Emmett: Just. Don't. TOUCH ME!
