a bit more mature than my usual. i can't help it if my teenage mind works this way. might be a one shot, but there are so many other possibilities, that there very well might be more chapters! well, cheers!


I've Never

It was Halloween evening, and the 6th year Gryffindors were bored.

They had just returned from the feast, and forced everyone under 5th year to their dorms, and here they sat, bored on their last Halloween in the castle! Sure, the girls were chatting, and a few blokes had taken out some Exploding Snap or Wizard's Chess, but that easily could have been a scene from any other night! This was Halloween, for Merlin's sake, and they were boring.

Sirius Black would not have it.

"OKAY, RAISE YOUR HAND IF YOU DON'T KNOW HOW TO PLAY," a slightly tipsy, soon to be smashed Sirius Black yelled to the room. James Potter shook his head, smiling slightly.

"Padfoot, you haven't told them what game we were going to play. I'VE NEVER, EVERYONE!" A loud cheer went through the room, one that praised the Marauders for starting a party, and one for being able to procure a stable amount of firewhiskey for said party. Something about having both Head students in Gryffindor had at first made the Gryffindors apprehensive about this party, but they all knew everything would be just fine after Lily Evans admitted, you only live once, and downed a shot of amber liquid.

The various upperclassmen arranged themselves into something like a circle- there were a lot of them, almost fifty. "Good thing Prongs and I had all this firewhiskey stored up," Sirius thought to himself, as he and James surveyed the circle. Once again, Sirius yelled to the circle, "WHO DOESN'T KNOW HOW TO PLAY? If you raise your hand, get the hell to bed. Anyone that doesn't know is too bloody inexperienced," he glared menacingly to them. No one moved, and he beamed. "Excellent. Let's start."

"Evans. You start."

"Potter, there's really no need to showcase how obsessed with me you are at this moment."

"I'm only trying to look out for you, seeing as the first person doesn't have to drink right away."

"We're all going to be completely smashed by the end of this game, I doubt it will matter."

"AHEM," Sirius coughed loudly, "when you two are finished…?" he trailed off. Lily blushed a little bit, and smirked. "Potter, go ahead and start," she paused thoughtfully, "unless you don't have anything good to admit to never having done?" she smiled sweetly at him, probably hitting a nerve, because immediately he said,

"I've never snogged Lily Evans."

To his dismay (and her chagrin), many people took a shot of the burning liquid. James looked around to his housemates and was unpleasantly surprised. Davies? What a prat. Diggory too. Prat. Montreal? What the hell? He's not going to be playing chaser anymore. Wait. Marlene McKinnon? Sweet Merlin, what a visual. MOONY? PADFOOT? WHAT THE FUCK? He stopped fuming in time to take a quick glance at Lily, who was wearing a look of something like a mix of embarrassment and smugness. Odd combination. James turned to Sirius and said, "It's your turn. By the way, traitor is a good color on you." Sirius just grinned and only said, "Mate, don't blame me because Marlene bloody McKinnon got to snog Lily and you never did. But Merlin, what a visual!"

James pretended that he hadn't thought the same thing a few seconds ago.

Fortunately, or unfortunately, the as the case may be, it was Sirius's turn next. There wasn't much that this particular Marauder hadn't done though, and he was drawing a loss as to what he might be able to say. In the end, his mature sixteen year old mind came up with, "I've never gone a whole day not wearing some type of underclothes," he announced gracefully. "And, I now realize that I fully need to do that before the time for us to graduate comes," he finished. Remus grimaced at the thought of this, and watched in horror and fascination as at least a quarter of the game players took shots of firewhiskey. There is something twisted about the students in this school, he thought to himself. He and Sirius and pretty much every other straight bloke in the room, didn't fail to notice that most of the ones drinking were girls. Once again, Sirius spoke for every male player of the game. "Merlin. What a visual."

The game proceeded in this manner, steadily getting dirtier and filthier as the teenagers grew smashed, and more smashed.

There wasn't too much that the members of the house of Gryffindor hadn't done. Must have had something to do with recklessness, because things like 'shagging in the library' and 'going skinny dipping in the Black Lake' were not things that took courage or bravery. They were things that took great stupidity and wildness. For every turn, there were only one or two that didn't drink besides the speaker. This resulted in a very sloshed group of upperclassmen about two hours after they had started. People started to become bolder, flirtier as time went by, looking directly at the person they hoped was hearing what they hadn't done, or hoped to do in the very near future. James in particular was staring at Lily as he proudly announced he had never snogged anyone in the passage between the Great Hall and the Gryffindor tower. The other Marauders did not miss this, and Remus promptly said, slurring a bit, "Prongs, quit drooling and drag Evans behind that statue out there." James looked up at Lily, who was a little bit more than drunk, and she surprisingly complied. She walked over to the portrait hole and said in her best come hither voice,

"Following, Potter?"

James quickly got up and dragged Lily out of the common room, followed by wolf whistles and cheers, emanating mostly from Sirius. Various couples filed out of the common room, inspired by their show of affection. Sirius Black looked around and realized in his hazy mind, that when everyone woke up tomorrow, they would have splitting headaches and no idea how that particular bird or bloke ended up in their bed. As he showed a pretty brunette 7th year the 6th year boys dorm, and followed her in to reap the rewards of initiating a wonderful drinking game in the Gryffindor Common Room.


review? should i continue? i might anyway. i rather enjoy writing from a teenage point of mind, as that's my natural state. feedback welcomed!