Disclaimer: None of this is mine, do you really think what happened to Ianto in CoE would have happened if I owned Torchwood?
Author's Note: After I wrote chapter 10 of my Female of the Species story, this idea wouldn't leave me alone. Basically, this story depends on one plot-point in the chapter I just mentioned being changed. It's probably a bit OOC for the Master (especially as I usually write him), but worth it to get this out of my head and onto a computer instead.
This will make no sense unless you read the first 10 chapters of Female of the Species before this... but just to be doubly sure, I will try to do a brief recap here, as well.
Rant about timelines: The Doctor Who Wiki site I rely heavily on for spurious information seems a bit off about when it said Torchwood Series Two was supposed to have happened... 'cause it seemed obvious to me that it shoulda started very shortly after the whole thing with the Master and the Toclafane. I know the team said Jack was gone for some time, but I figured that him disappearing at the end of Series One was long enough ago without adding another half a year or so after the Master was defeated before KKBB, like the Wiki site seems to think. Besides, I needed more time between the existing episodes for my plot to make sense... so yeah. I've set my own timeline for the series, in this story, which I still think works just fine.
Dedicated to my lovely beta, bambieyes1234, who also co-wrote a few scenes with me (a lot of what's said by Rhys is her work) I love you, girl!
WARNING: Time-travel. I'm serious, when I write time-travel, it's more complex than most people are comfortable with. I do paradoxes, characters showing up before they were there last time, etc. It's fun, but can get confusing. You have been warned.
WARNING 2: In later chapters there will be Jack/Ianto (does this even count as slash? I don't think so... and I don't see how Torchwood fans can complain about me using a canon pairing, still seems the decent thing to do, to warn off slash-ophobics). Some of it might even classify as fluffiness, but not much I swear!
x x x
Chapter 1: Never Doing That Again
x x x
It had been over an hour since they had returned to the TARDIS, having acquired the Varisian gun which would be able to change both the Doctor and Captain Jack back to their normal selves. The weapon in question had turned both of them into women... but it really was completely reversible, now that they had the technology in their possession.
The inconvenience of having been captured by the Master before recovering the weapon had been a minor irritation to the Doctor, and she was quite sure that it had actually made him a far easier mark for attempted subterfuge when she had eventually escaped. He always had underestimated women. Quite a spectacular mistake on his part, really.
Unfortunately, Jack had been hit by the same weapon, during their attempt to acquire it. Not that it appeared to be a new experience for the Captain... her first words upon waking up as a woman had been "Oh no, not again!" after all. And shortly following those words had been several lewd suggestions about what she would like to do with her temporarily female body. At first, the Doctor had been curious about how, when, and why Jack had been turned into a female before, but then decided she was probably better off not knowing.
The Doctor had finally finished setting the weapon to restore them both to normal, now. Not that she would use it on herself right away... partly because of that aforementioned brilliant little detail that the Master tended to underestimate women, and she could think of several ways to use that to her advantage in the inevitable psychological war that would break out between the two of them, as soon as the two humans left the TARDIS.
But now, she went in search of Jack, to at least restore some semblance of normality- relatively speaking- to the immortal Captain. The Master had disappeared soon after they had entered the TARDIS, and Jack had followed to "make sure he doesn't do anything too evil". That was a loaded statement if ever the Doctor had heard one.
Considering the fact she had been looking for them for twenty minutes, the Doctor was now getting very annoyed at the TARDIS. Corridors led in circles, and there was no sign of the two. Martha had gone in search of lunch, and found the kitchen on the second door to the left after leaving the lab, but the Doctor was now beginning to feel a bit unsettled by this deliberate attempt at misdirection.
Finally, she found a familiar door- the T.V. room- and walked in. The first thing she saw here was the Master was perched on the arm of the couch, watching the couch itself with bemusement and mild disdain. The next thing to strike at her senses was the smell in the room. She immediately stopped breathing, in order to avoid that, and attempt to deny the obvious conclusion such a scent should lead to.
Not that it was easy to deny. They wouldn't- well, Jack might... but no, the Master was a homicidal maniac, what would she see in him? And the Master wouldn't, either. Why would he?
Her own denial sounded incredibly weak, even to her own mind... it was quite obvious that it had happened, whether she could understand why or not. As she walked further into the room, she saw the female Jack Harkness laying back on the couch looking far too pleased with herself. Well, at least they both had the decency to be fully clothed when she found them... but perhaps she had the TARDIS' evasiveness to thank for that.
"You didn't...?" the Doctor asked, glancing from one to the other, her eyes wide with shock.
"It was her idea." the Master sneered coldly.
Jack looked up at the Doctor, smiling and blinking innocently. The expression entirely failed in its purpose, and when she realised that, Jack sat up, stretching and arching her back, "I've been trying to lay a Time Lord for about a hundred and forty years, are you at all surprised?" she asked bluntly. So that was her reason? Very shallow, but also very like Jack.
The Doctor wrinkled her nose in mild disgust, "I'm surprised at him." she retorted. It was true. Time Lords were not known for sexual desires. In fact, she was pretty sure the Master was the only one she knew who had ever expressed any interest in such things. Admittedly, the Doctor had been drawn to a few of his companions in the past, but in a romantic context more than anything like this.
"Bit of advice..." the Master said bluntly, "Never let her get her legs around you. You ever watched that James Bond movie with the assassin woman who could kill you with the pressure of her thighs?"
"Too much TV, Master." Jack said blithely, but grinning a bit too smugly, all the same, "Although I take that as a compliment."
"Too much information." the Doctor muttered, shaking her head as she turned to leave the room, "Both of you, follow me."
She was barely two steps down the corridor before Jack caught up with her, "Where're we going?"
"The medical bay." the Doctor answered calmly.
"Why?" Jack asked blankly, "Isn't that the gender-bender gun right there? Have you fixed it yet?"
"Yes, and yes." the Doctor said with a nod, "But now you need a couple of scans before I'm going to use it." The expression on her face was completely open, eyes wide, clearly saying Jack was an idiot for not already realising this before.
Jack tripped over her own feet at that, barely staying standing as she turned and stepped into the Doctor's path, "What?" she demanded, her tone significantly higher pitched than even her new feminine voice should be, clearly showing her shock and horror.
The Doctor, who had stopped walking when Jack had stepped in her way, scowled at her, "Time Lords and humans are biologically compatible." and she side-stepped the dumbstruck human, quickly continuing to walk towards the medbay.
She heard someone behind her being struck by what sounded like a very solid punch, and then Jack's voice all but shrieking, "Why didn't you tell me that?"
And she heard the Master blithely answering, "Must have slipped my mind."
x x x
It had been twenty-four hours since her experiment on the subject of Time Lord sexuality, and Jack Harkness was now sitting in the medbay of the TARDIS, experiencing a terminal case of boredom. The initial scans had shown nothing unusual, but now the Doctor was insisting that they run another test or three. Blood test, some high-tech scanner thing, and the typical human method of urinating on a stick.
At least the last time Jack had been impregnated by an alien had been pretty damned obvious, pretty damned quickly. The gestation period had only been six weeks, ending when the alien offspring went through a metamorphosis that made it ethereal, allowing it to phase out and leave its corporeal host without any semblance of pain.
According to what she'd paid attention to of the Doctor's constant stream of semi-medical technobabble, Time Lord pregnancies A; weren't supposed to happen, because female Time Lords were infertile, B; according to historical records before the 'curse' that had caused this problem, it involved a lot less discomfort than a human pregnancy, and 3... or C; lasted about the same length of time as the human version.
Jack did her best to tune it out. What were the odds of it actually happening, anyway?
When you deliberately try, a million to one... when you don't want it, abso-bloody-lutely guaranteed. That was the unpleasant thought that she found herself answering her own question with.
"Can't believe you didn't warn me." Jack grumbled, glaring at the Master. This was entirely his fault. Jack would have been back to his usual self by now if the Master had followed the previous pattern of reacting with highly insulted indignity to Jack's come-ons.
Or better yet, a little warning would have allowed her to protect herself. Fifty-first century human biology had evolved to actually acknowledge the concept of sex for pleasure, and it was possible- with only a few seconds of concentration before the act- to engage a natural form of contraception that was pretty much fool-proof. And after the last time he'd been turned into a she, Jack had carefully researched the female perspective of fifty-first century sex-ed, to ensure that such an accident would never happen.
Okay, maybe she should have just done that, anyway. Maybe it was partly her own fault. It still didn't make her any less offended by the fact the Master was all but laughing at her predicament right now.
Still, there was a chance the tests would all come up negative... then she could test the Master's theory of comparing her to Xenia Onatopp, by attempting to asphyxiate him.
"Alright, I've finished all the tests." the Doctor announced, as if in direct answer to Jack's thoughts.
"And?"
"You're pregnant."
Jack swore quite creatively, spending about twenty seconds describing obscene things that the Master should go and do with rabid llamas.
When she finally ceased her outburst, the Master pointed out, "It's your own fault, you know."
Jack glared at him, "I'm not going to kill you. For reasons I cannot comprehend, the Doctor seems to think that you deserve to live. But I have a great deal of experience in the art of torture, and I will make you suffer for this."
"Jack." the Doctor warned, and she calmed down just a bit.
"It's really not... that big a problem." Jack tried to reassure herself, "I'll save the death-threats for when I'm giving birth." at the blank look both Time Lords gave her for this, she shrugged, "Human tradition." A rather morbid grin crossed her face, "I've been told it hurts like hell, and most human women do make death-threats to the man responsible for their pain, during that part of the process."
"You know this from personal experience, or television?" the Master asked.
"Well... both." Jack answered, with a slight shrug, "When my daughter was born, her mother actually did kill me for it... but she knew I was immortal, and it did make her feel better about it."
The Master blinked, "You have a daughter? Why did I not know this?" the words 'and use it against you while I ruled the world' went without saying at the end of that question.
"Witness protection program." Jack said rather coldly. That and Jack really was not sure if she had even survived the initial attack by the Toclafane... not that she wanted to think about that possibility, now that it hadn't happened anymore.
A few seconds of silence passed, while the Doctor diligently pretended not to be paying attention to either of them, tidying up things that really didn't need it, around the medbay. The Master finally spoke, then, "So you want to keep it?"
"Would be seriously cruel and selfish not to, now wouldn't it?" Jack asked, grinning. It was only slightly forced, she was still quite completely terrified at this idea, but she believed every word she was saying, now, "What with the fact that you are the last two of your kind. So what if our kid'll be a half-breed, still a Time Lord, right?"
"Of course." the Master said, nodding slowly. His expression was carefully blank, and Jack really couldn't tell how he felt about this concept.
x x x
Jack had- without asking permission- acquired some new clothes, from the TARDIS wardrobe. A dark grey wool coat, of a very similar style to the WWII one, but without the military design, and better cut to fit her female form. Boots that didn't nearly trip her when she walked (only one size smaller than he had worn before). Very form-fitting low-cut pants (no need for braces, with these... nor any imagination as to the shape of her backside, either).
She had stuck with the old shirt, in spite of (or partly because of) the fact that it was quite tight around her chest... and it might prove helpful in concealing the fact that she was pregnant, once it became noticeable. She had also cut her hair, almost but not quite back to the style it had been before, leaving slightly longer bangs at the front to frame her more feminine features.
Martha, who had already said her goodbyes and left to check on her family, had found out about Jack's condition, and spent several hours alternately laughing about it, expressing horror and disgust at the idea of sex with the Master, and trying to show sympathy for the unfortunate immortal, which was ruined by the 'rather you than me' air she subconsciously projected about it.
"Well, here we are. Earth, June twelfth, two-thousand-eight." the Doctor announced.
"It's a Thursday." the Master added, as if this was an especially good thing. Well, it did mean that tomorrow was Friday 13th, and Jack could just picture him watching and laughing while people went about the tradition of being paranoid of bad luck, all day.
The Doctor glared at him, clearly telling him to shut up, before asking for the dozenth time, "You're sure you don't want to stay on the TARDIS?"
"Doctor, I may not be in the safest line of work, here on Earth, but you attract far more trouble than I do." Jack said brightly, "I figure I'm safer at Torchwood than planet-hopping from one disaster to another with the pair of you."
"Just try not to get killed, alright?" the Doctor warned.
"If you really feel the need to die, I'll be happy to oblige your suicidal tendencies in nine months' time." the Master added.
Jack took two steps towards the Master, so she was now right in front of him, looking into his eyes with an air of detached amusement. She saw a flash of fear there, "Since I'm going to be a woman for a while, now, I guess I ought to learn this. Doctor, you've told me the horror stories about Jackie Tyler, tell me... is this right?" And with those words, she slapped the Master, very hard, across the face.
The Master's head snapped to one side, and his hand instinctively flew up to cover his now slightly reddened cheek. Half a second later, he turned a venomous glare on her for it.
"Very effective." the Doctor said with a laugh.
x x x
