Fragile
Zuko ran his fingers through Nightshade's mane. He wished he could be this comfortable around people. But people were different than Nightshade. People wore masks. People lied. And most of all, people hurt. They'll use you as a stepping-stone. And when they're above you, they'll forget you. Some of them move on quickly and silently. Some of them hover over you forever and make you remember every good time you had with them until it makes you want to rip your heart out.
Azula was one of the best examples Zuko could think of for the second example. Whenever he looked at her, he saw what she used to be before she became the soulless devil she was now. He always remembered his two-year-old sister who would climb trees with him in the summer. They'd pick pears from the trees and eat them while their mother screamed for them to get out of the tree before they hurt themselves. He'd remember teasing the palace servants with her and stealing the maid's keys. They used to play tag and pick flowers for Mom. But she moved on eventually and left him behind.
Zuko had already gone through this once with his father, so he knew the hurt feeling when it came along. But it didn't stop there. He'd see Azula everyday even after that. And every time he saw her bully one of her friends or yell at the servant tending to her, he'd think of the good times in the Palace gardens. Even when she was horrible to him, he'd always remember her as who she used to be. But it hurt seeing his sister disappear more and more each day. It hurt even now to see her.
And even through it all, he knew he'd never stop loving that little girl who used to be his sister. He knew she was probably in there somewhere, but he knew she would never make another appearance. She'd be locked inside that she-demon for the rest of her life. And more importantly, for the rest of his.
He'd given a piece of himself to everyone he'd thought he could trust. And every single one of them had destroyed it. Slowly, they were destroying him. Now there was very little of him left. But he wouldn't make that mistake again. It didn't matter what the Avatar and company thought of him, he wouldn't give them a chance to hurt him. After all, when all of this was over, when they no longer needed him, they were most likely to stick him back in the Fire Nation and forget all about him.
Because that's what people did. They hurt. And that's what unrequited love did. It destroyed. And maybe because Zuko himself was turning to glass. He was so strong on the outside. He was so solid, so dependable, so together. And yet, so fragile. One wrong move and he'd break. Shatter into a thousand pieces and be broken forever. Because that's what glass did. It was deceptive. It was fragile.
But he wouldn't let anyone do that to him again. Because no one was supposed to know that he was made of glass.
s.
