Clare stood before Degrassi, hesitant to go in. It wasn't just a normal day at Degrassi High School. It was the day she was finally going to talk to Eli Goldsworthy. After their breakup a year ago, they hadn't talked but for some articles in the school newspaper. But last night, while lying in her bed trying to fall asleep, Clare decided Eli had found a balance, and he wouldn't be too distraught is she spoke to him.
So here she was. The sun was shining, the wind pulled her khaki skirt in every which way, and the birds sang joyous songs to each other. She, however, did not feel very joyous. Eli was probably talking to Imogen or Fiona inside. She pulled her bag over her shoulder and walked through the doors.
She didn't see him at first. In fact, she walked right past him. It wasn't until she turned around that she saw his face. He was talking to Fiona. She swallowed the lump in her throat and walked nervously toward him, regretting each step. This is the right thing to do. I won't regret this later. This is a good thing. She told herself. She stood before them, looking awkwardly at Eli. Their conversation stopped, and he just stared at her. Eventually, Fiona turned around and gave Clare an awkward smile, before walking off without saying a word. "Clare Edwards," Eli spoke with such dignity. "To what do I owe this pleasure?"
"Can we talk?" Clare asked nervously. She wasn't quite sure what she expected him to say.
"Of course." And she followed him outside.
Eli sat on the Degrassi High steps and waited for her to begin. He raised his eyebrows, and she knew she was procrastinating. Clare sighed deeply, as if to release all of the bad things that could go wrong with this conversation. "Eli, first of all, I don't want to mess up any balance you've found-" He cut her off.
"Stop. Clare," He laughed. "I have found a balance. I got the same speech from Imogen." He smirked at her, a sign that, she hoped, was a good one. Clare sat down next to him and he turned towards her.
Clare decided she wasn't going to say anything that she had planned. Nothing about her feelings, or where they stood. "The Dot? After school?" She smiled, knowing he was going to decline and that she was stupid for even asking.
"I'd love to." They stared at each other for a moment, before standing up. She was shocked. Surprised, even. "I've uh, I have English. I'll call you after school." She nodded as she watched him walk away.
It wasn't a complete failure. She now had time to procrastinate even more before having a much needed conversation with Eli. She was excited, but also very nervous. Clare wasn't use to telling her emotions to someone the first chance she got. The only person she ever did that with was her mom, and now that seemed long gone. Ever since her mom had married Glen, they seemed distant. But she wasn't going to let that happen with Eli. Not this time. She had lost too many people in a year; she couldn't handle losing Eli again. It would break her.
