All characters are the property of Hasbro Inc, who I'm sure are just delighted by what I'm doing with them.


"You totally could, Whittany."

"No, you totally couldn't, Brittany. It's, like, impossible."

The Biskit twins sat on the front steps of the school, a carton of orange juice between them. Blythe tried her best to edge around the pair.

"Hey, Blythe. Like, come over here and help us settle something."

Blythe hurried up the steps, keeping her eyes on the school doors.

"Oh em gee, is she ignoring us?"

"She totally is. That's so, like, rude!"

Blythe turned. "Look, I'm sorry, but I'm about to be late. I already had to run out of the house without eating breakfast, and I really need to get to class before-"

The bell rung.

"See, now it doesn't matter," Brittany said. "So now you're, like, free to help us settle a bet, right?"

"We'll totally make it worth your while," Whittany added.

Blythe sighed. Well, if I'm going to have to slip in to class late anyway... "What's the bet?"

"Brittany thinks that it's possible for a human person to drink a half gallon of orange juice in, like, less than a minute. But it's, like, so not. You'd totally explode if you tried."

"And I say Whittany, like, doesn't even know what she's talking about. We bet, like, a thousand dollars on it, and if you help me prove her wrong, I'll split it with you."

Blythe blinked. "You'll split a thousand dollars with me?"

"Yeah, I'll give you, like, four dollars of it."

"But you have to drink it all," Whittany said. "And I'm going to time you."

I did miss breakfast, Blythe thought. Juice is better than nothing. And four dollars for a minute's work isn't bad.

Her eyes narrowed. In fact, it was a little too good. "Just how dumb do you two think I am?"

"Like, pretty dumb, but I don't, like, see what that has to do with anything. I mean, like, I still think you're smart enough to drink juice."

Blythe put her hands on her hips. "What did you do? Spit in it? Or something worse?"

"As if you were good enough to drink my spit!" Brittany huffed. "We didn't do anything to it!"

"Then why don't you drink it?" Blythe asked.

"'Cause! Duh! There's, like, a million calories in orange juice. And it's, like, obvious you don't care about calories, 'cause I mean, hello, just look at you, so it just makes sense."

Blythe scowled.

"Oh, for OMG's sake," Brittany said, picking up the carton and talking a gulp. She swished the juice around in her cheeks, swallowed theatrically, and opened her mouth wide to prove that she'd swallowed it. "Blaaaah! See? There's nothing in it."

"You totally helped her!" Whittany protested. "Now she's got to drink the rest in, like, fifty-five seconds or it doesn't count."

Blythe sighed. "Fine. Let's just get it over with."

She picked up the carton and put it to her lips. "Go?"

"Go!"

Blythe gulped down the tangy juice as fast as she could. She almost choked on it. Is this spoiled? It definitely tasted off. But there's no way that Brittany would have put rotten juice in her precious Biskit mouth. It's gotta be my imagination.

"Like, thirty seconds left!" Whittany called. Then-

"Twenty seconds!"

"Ten-"

"DONE!" Blythe gasped. She crumpled up the empty carton. "Ta-da!"

"Yay!" Brittany said. "I, like, win!"

"You wish. She hasn't, like, not exploded yet!" Whittany poked Blythe's stomach. "It'll totally happen any second now."

"I'm fine, Whittany," Blythe said. "I'm just full of juice. Pleas stop poking me."

Whittany frowned. "Like, two out of three? I can get another carton."

"No!" Blythe said. "I mean... if I drink any more, I actually might explode. Now, I reeeeally need to get to class, so if I could have my four dollars?"

Brittany handed it over. "If you blow up before the end of the day, you've gotta, like, give it back. Okay?"

"Er, okay." Blythe tossed the carton towards the recycling bin. It went wide of the mark, landing in the bushes.

"Nice shot," Whittany giggled.

What's wrong with me? Usually I can at least hit the bin, even if it doesn't go in. Blythe took a step towards the bushes and wobbled.

"Wh-whoa. I - whoa." Something was wrong. She felt like she was sinking in a sea of cotton.

"Like, feeling okay, Blythe?" one of the Biskits asked. Blythe turned to the girls. They were biting their lips, fighting back laughter, and Blythe felt her stomach clench.

"You-you did do something to that juice!" she said, her voice quivering.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Brittany shrugged. "It was just, like, ordinary orange juice."

"Ordinary orange juice that, like, took a side trip to Daddy's liquor cabinet," Whittany added. "You, little miss goody-goody, just drank, like, a million drinks' worth or something."

They both burst out laughing.

"I guess we'd better, like, get to class!" Brittany said. "We're gonna be soooo late."

A cruel smirk crossed both twins' faces.

"Have fun in school today!"


Blythe carefully walked down the corridor, one foot in front of the other. Left. Right. Left. Right.

This is bad. This is bad. This is sooo baaaaad!

She'd never been drunk before. She'd never even tasted alcohol. Maybe if she had, she would have known what that medicine-y flavor was. How could she had been so stupid? Her first drink, and she was so plastered she could barely walk in a straight line.

She forced herself to focus, fighting back the cotton stuffed in her head and the queasy feeling in her stomach. Just get to class and sit down, she told herself. She could stay quiet until it wore off. It couldn't last that long. Could it?

Maybe she should turn around now. Go to the nurse. But the nurse would recognize what was wrong with her for sure. Then they'd call her father, and it would get all over the school, and nobody would believe that she'd just been tricked into drinking that much. Maybe you could trick someone into taking one drink, but about a dozen? That person would have to be a royal bonehead.

She paused at the door to class, took a deep breath, and stepped in.

"I'm shorry - I - sorry I'm late," she said, a little too loudly. "I, uh...I...got... got lost."

The teacher raised an eyebrow. "I would have thought you'd know the school layout by now."

"Me too! A ha ha!" Blythe stammered. Her laugh was interrupted by a loud hiccup, and she clapped a hand over her mouth. "Sorry! I just drank a lot. I mean, a lotta juice, real fast. Boy, am I fulla juice. I didn't mean I drunk a six-pack of beer or something!"

She giggle-snorted, and the class tittered in awkward amusement.

"Well, please take a seat, Ms. Baxter."

"Sure!" Blythe said, practically fleeing towards her desk. She was so desperate to get away from the front of the classroom that she didn't look where her feet were going. She caught her ankle on a chair leg and sprawled onto the floor.

Face burning, she struggled to her feet, aware that everyone was staring at her. She scuttled to her seat and buried her face in her hands. I'm so dead!

"Blythe, what's wrong?" Youngmee said, her soft voice full of concern.

"I'm okay. I jusht... just tripped." Blythe muttered around her hands. "I don't feel so good today."

"You look terrible! Maybe you should see the nurse-"

"No!" Blythe said, lifting her head. She bit her lip. "I mean...I'll be fine pre'y shoon, in a minute."

Youngmee leaned forward and sniffed. "Blythe! You're-"

She looked around. The class had mostly stopped paying attention to the drama in their row.

"Are you drunk?" she hissed under her breath.

"Yes!" Blythe said desperately. "It wasn't my fault, the Biskits tricked me, and now I'm really messed up and I don't know whatta do and I feel like I'm gonna barf!"

"Shh, shh, it'll be all right. We'll get you out of this." Youngmee raised her hand. "Excuse me? May Blythe and I be excused? She's sick. I need to take her home."

"You can take her to the clinic, but she'll need the nurse's permission to leave school."

"Please? It's kind of an emergency." She dragged Blythe to her feet.

"I'm okay, I really am," Blythe said lamely. "I dunneed to go to the nurse. I'm fine."

"You're not fine," Youngmee murmured. "You don't want to throw up in front of everyone, do you?"

"I'm not gonna."

"You look like you are."

"I'm not!" Blythe said. "Just let me sit down. I'm not really gonna barf. I'm not-"

She paused.

"Uh-oh."

She tottered down the aisle, heading for the door as fast as she could.

"Oh god, oh god, oh-"


"I'm never going back to school again!" Blythe wailed as Youngmee helped her up the steps of her apartment.

"It's not that bad," Youngmee soothed.

"Not that bad? I threw up all over the teacher! And the front row! And myself!"

"And me."

"And you!"

"Well, look on the bright side."

"What bright side?"

"And the Biskits."

Blythe smiled in spite of herself. "That does almost make it worth it."

"See?"

"But it doesn't really! Everyone saw me. Everyone!" Blythe moaned. "Forget school, I'm never even gonna leave my room!"

"Oh, Blythe. We just need to get you sobered up. Then you'll feel better."

"Like heck! Sobering up won't-won't reverse time and make my barf jump back down my throat!"

"Ew. Would you want it to?" Youngmee sighed. "Just don't even think about it. Here, look! Here's your nice bed."

She peeled off Blythe's vomit-spattered T-shirt and helped the drunk girl do up the buttons on her pajama top. Then she tucked her in and flicked on the TV.

"Why don't we get you a movie? Ooh, Netflix has all the Buddies movies!"

"No," Blythe said.

"You don't like it? It's got puppies in it. I figured if anything was a safe bet for you, it'd be a movie about animals."

"I used to like them, but now it's too confusing. The humans actors are reading lines and the animals are usually complaining about the director or just gossiping or whatever they were doing when they shot it, and it all muddles together."

"Er, what?"

Blythe flushed. "Oh, er. I mean-hahaha, I'm still a little loopy, I guess!"

"More than a little. Hold on, I'll get you something to eat."

"'m not hungry."

"You need something in your stomach besides alcohol." Youngmee bustled off to the kitchen, and came back with a pitcher of ice water and sliced apples and bananas over vanilla ice cream.

"Here. This'll hydrate you, and the sugar will help sober you up. I called Mrs. Twombly too, by the way, so she knows you won't be in today."

Youngmee fluffed up a pillow and the two girls curled up together and watched a relaxing made-for-TV movie about a group of sharks who got loose on a bus and terrorized the passengers. The sharks were all CGI, so they didn't bother Blythe by talking.

Half a pitcher, several more pieces of fruit, most of the ice cream, and a dozen mangled sharkbite victims later, Blythe could barely keep her eyes open. She let loose with a jaw-cracking yawn.

"I think that's my cue to leave," Youngmee said. "I can still catch my afternoon classes. Unless you need one more bowl?"

Blythe shook her head. "I couldn't eat another bite. If that stuff really cures drunkeness, I'm gonna be the un-drunkerest person in the world."

Youngmee brushed a stray strand of brown hair out of Blythe's face. "The only real cure is time. Get some rest, okay?"

"How'd you get so good at this, anyway?" Blythe asked. "You're like a pro."

"Oh, er." Youngmee stammered. "Aunt Christie... sometimes... not all the time or anything... she goes out and just gets, well, ripped."

Blythe giggled. "Wow, really? She seems so focused."

"I've seen her eating fruit and stuff to get ready for work the next day. Of course it's not like there's a shortage of sugar next door...just don't tell anyone, okay?"

"I won't. I'm good at keeping secrets. At least I try."

"Good. I'd better get going-"

"Wait!" Blythe caught her hand. "Youngmee, I-I just want you to know I - I -thank you so much. For all of this. This is... you're just the best, you really are."

"Well-you're welcome!" Youngmee said, beaming. "What are best friends for?"

"It's more than that," Blythe sniffed. Her eyes were shiny. Somehow, she felt daring enough to do something she'd never even considered before. "I love you."

"Sure, I love you, too!" Youngmee said brightly.

Blythe shook her head. "No, I meant-I-"

She pulled the other girl down until their faces were together.

"I...love-"

She kissed her. The sensation of another pair of soft lips pressed against hers thrilled her. This wasn't her. She'd never kissed anyone. And yet, somehow, she'd known this was the time.

Youngmee pulled away. "I-I should go-"

"You don't have to." Blythe pulled harder, dragging Youngmee onto the bed. The other girl hastily extricated her arm and stood up again.

"I love you," Blythe repeated.

"You're drunk," Youngmee said flatly.

"It doesn't matter, I still-"

"Get some sleep, okay?"

"But don't you-"

"I'll be back this evening to check up on you."


She woke up around four-thirty and instantly wished she hadn't. Her head was pounding. Ugh. I am not throwing up twice in one day. Great. And I missed work. And the pets will be going crazy! It's not like Mrs. Twombly would have told them I was going to be out. I'll have to go down as soon as the room stops spinning. And Youngmee-

Her blood went cold.

Oh.

Em.

Geee.

I kissed Youngmee! On the lips!

And not only that, but it was my first kiss!

And not only that, but I'm pretty sure it was her first kiss!

And then I practically tried to drag her into bed with me!

Blythe paced back and forth, heart pounding. Youngmee would be... well, not furious. She'd just be disappointed. She'd just never look at Blythe the same way again. How could you be best friends with a girl who got sloppy drunk and threw herself at you? With someone who wrecked your first kiss?

She sank down onto the bed, mortified tears forming in her eyes.

What if I've ruined everything?

It was one thing to be embarrassed in front of the whole school. It was another thing to take the best friendship you've ever had and flush it down the toilet. And for what? Because she'd gotten stupid for a moment. Because she'd gotten greedy. Because it wasn't enough to be able to see the girl she was crushing on every day, she had to slip up and...and slobber all over her face!

She heard steps coming up the stairs and froze. Too light to be her dad or Mrs. Twombly, too heavy for one of the pets. There was only one person it could be. Blythe's back stiffened.

The door creaked out and Youngmee peeked in. "Oh, you're up!"

"Yeah," Blythe said.

"Feeling better?"

"Feeling lousy. But sober."

"Oh. Good."

You could cut the awkwardness between them with a knife.

"I guess-I guess you don't remember much," Youngmee said hesitantly.

"I-" Blythe began. She felt her face crumple and tears well up in her eyes. "I'm s-s-s-sorry! I wish I could take it back, but I can't, and now things are going to be all weird between us, and there's nothing I can do about it and oh, I'm so sorry for kissing you, Youngmee!"

Youngmee put a hand to her mouth. "You-you don't need to be."

"I was drunk and stupid. It-"

It didn't mean anything.

But she couldn't bring herself to lie straight to Youngmee's face. She could hold it inside. She could never bring it up. But she couldn't flat-out deny her feelings.

"I-do have feelings fou you," she murmured, looking down at her feet. "But I shouldn't have kissed you like that. I just hope this won't change things to-to where it's hard for you to be around me, or something."

"You're saying you-you want to be my girlfriend," Youngmee said.

"I'm saying that in a perfect world, that's what I'd want, but I know that you don't have the same feelings and-and the most important part of 'girlfriend' is 'friend'. I don't ever want to lose you as a friend. Not ever." She looked up hopefully. "Forgive me?"

"I-"

Youngmee's voice caught.

"When you kissed me," she said, "you know what I was thinking? 'If only this was real'. 'If only she really felt this way'. But you were drunk and you didn't know what you were doing and-and I ran-when all I really wanted to do was-"

Youngmee stepped forward, her mouth meeting Blythe's, and they kissed for the second time, a fiercer, hungrier kiss than the first, and the current that passed between them now was not confusion and longing, but sheer joy.


"Blythe!" The pets leapt joyously into her arms, and she fell backward, laughing as Vinnie crawled up her arm and Zoe licked her face.

"Where were you?" Russell asked. "We'll be going home any minute!"

"Sorry, guys," Blythe laughed. "We can play longer tomorrow, I promise. I had to take a sick day today."

"I hope you're feeling better now," Penny said.

"I am, Penny," Blythe said with a dreamy smile. She sighed. "A lot better."