Disclaimer: I checked, but sadly, no, I don't own anything pertaining to Criminal Minds.
A/n once again please be aware of spoilers for "Truth or Dare." If you haven't seen the last episode, turn back now. You have be warned!
"And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free."
John 8:32
He wanted her to lie to him. After wrapping up their case, and watching Dave and Crystal exchange their wedding vows, he wanted her to lie. Why not? Lies are easy. He lied all the time, about his addiction, his loneliness, his anger at a disease that slowly claimed his mother but didn't put her out of her misery. He lied to himself about his heart, and the feelings he thought he'd buried long ago, or that he'd thought he'd spent on Henry and Michael. He lied about his rage over fourteen years lost in, what if, or maybe!
Damn it!
He watched her with Will - and the same agonizing pain that had nearly overwhelmed him more than eleven years ago when she'd chosen to live her life with him and the baby growing inside her - slammed into his gut with force so strong, he nearly screamed aloud.
No!
As he watched Dave and Crystal kiss at the end of their ceremony, he shoved down the image of JJ and Will at their wedding. Instead, he tried desperately to think of Henry and Michael, and his own broken home. He wouldn't pull her aside and demand that she tell him the truth. He'd go on living another lie in the endless string of lies that lived in his heart, mind, and soul.
He watched her dance with Will, and he watched the others celebrate Dave's marriage. He watched them laugh and cry together in the way a family should, and it cut into him like the shard of glass he used to free his hands and save a life more precious to him than his life.
What now?
He wanted her to lie to him when they did clear the air, but then she spoke, and her eyes, the eyes of the only woman he'd ever love, the eyes of his one true flame, met his gaze, and he had to know.
And the truth shall make you free!
She told him the truth with her convenient lie and his heart shattered in his chest. This time, no meetings with his support group, no hugs from his mother, no jokes with Garcia, or poker games won could glue it back into a semblance of wholeness.
He wanted to her to lie to him, but then he had to know the truth, and the truth slammed the bars on his internal prison for all time.
"Lie to me. I promise I'll believe."
Strong enough
Sheryl Crow
