Dio's Demise

By LGR and Hitory Shushijuu

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In the Grand Stream, as another epic day unfolds…

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Silvana to Pilot 5, Silvana to Pilot 5, we heard screaming. What is your condition?

Oh…nothing I just stubbed my toe.

You…you stubbed your toe, so you screamed?

Well, yeah! It really hurt! I think I'm bleeding or something, you know?

How do you stub your toe, sitting down?

Well, you know, it gets kind of epic up here…

Oh, yeah, I'm sure, an epic joy-ride.

Hey, this is important business. IMPORTANT BUSINESS, okay?

Dio? What did you two go out there for anyway?

Dio?

Dio, come in, are you there?

Claus, what happened to Dio?

Well, he might have you know, had like, an ACCIDENT of sorts—THAT I WAS NOT INVOLVED IN!—okay? Not in ANY WAY!

An accident? What do you mean? What kind of accident, is he okay?

Well, um, I'm not sure if I should DISCLOSE this kind of information, or anything, um, because it's not been CONFIRMED or anything, um, yeah…

How can you not disclose the information? It was an accident right? Is he okay?

Well, you see, I was flying, and, you know, I got my eyes on the road, I'm like paying attention I'm like, I'm IN THE ZONE, you know? I'm in the FLYING ZONE, okay? So, I couldn't tell what was going on back there, and…I was just like flying around you know? And it was an accident…and like shit happens…so…I think one day, we're all just gonna, like, accept it, and…go on, you know? I'm actually feeling better already.

What the hell happened out there?!

Well…you see, I was…um, well…

Just spill it already!

He was singing...and...I was just flying, you know, minding my own business, and…all of a sudden it stopped, and I was like 'thank god, he finally shut up', and then I wondered why he shut up, not that I care, and…he was just, like, you know, gone…I think he fell out…

Fell out?

Yeah, you know, fell out. Like one second he was there, the next second, whoosh! He wasn't. He was just gone, he wasn't there anymore, you know?

Didn't you hear the screaming?

What! That was me, I told you! I stubbed my toe! It hurt! That fucking kills!

Well, did you get him back?

Well, about that, like I said before, since it wasn't actually CONFIRMED that he had fallen, I didn't feel INCLINED to send out, you know, a ah, rescue party, do to our new field reservation policy, so like, ah yeah.

You didn't…feel inclined…to get him back…

Well, like I said, it wasn't CONFIRMED that he had fallen, I just ASSUMED, that maybe, he HAD, but, you know, he could have been anywhere…

What are you trying to say, he just flew away? By flapping his arms?

Hey, that guy's crazy I wouldn't doubt it.

Well…Can you still see him? Look around you…

Technically, he could have just not even falling, like I said it was NOT confirmed okay, NOT confirmed!

Well, how do you THINK he fell?

Looks to me like the stupid douche didn't even buckle his lap belt…like he was asking for it or something…looks to me like…A SUICIDE!

A suicide? There are plenty of other ways he could have committed suicide, the grand stream is just impractical the currents could keep you aloft for days, there's a chance you might no even die, before you just starve to death!

Well, you know Dio and the Grand Stream…that's just probably the way he wanted to go…it's a sad thing but that's just how shit goes down…

I just don't see how it happened. How didn't you notice? What did he do, jump out?

Well, all of a sudden you, there was-there was a gust of wind, and…he we flew through some debris, so I was like CONCENTRATING! Okay? It was quite challenging, you know? Just to like, keep MYSELF alive…

There's no debris out here for about a hundred and fifty knots!

Well, maybe your debris-sighter-guy took a lunch break.

Claus what the hell's gotten into you?

Well, you know how it was like his Birthday and all? He wouldn't stop singing that fucking song, and…you know I warned him but you know, it just went down…

So, your saying…you pushed him out?

Hey, hey, he was warned! He had a death wish!

Are you saying you pushed him out of the cockpit?

'Pushed', is just a word, we, you know, THROW AROUND and…

Wait, now you're saying you THREW him out of the cockpit?

No, no! I didn't push OR throw him out. He was THROWN out, I guess you could say, but it wasn't solely MY DOING, that caused his, ah, accidental, um suicide.

Alright, so how did he get THROWN out?

Like I said, he was singing that song, so I got ANGRY and, you know, drove through some debris and, and it just happened and he fell…

What happened?

He fell.

No what happened to make him fall?

No, no! What happened IS he fell! That WAS, 'the HAPPENING'. That's what HAPPENED.

Well, he couldn't just have fallen for no reason!

Like I said, his lap belt wasn't buckled! The guy just didn't understand safety first…And anyway, he could have cost us money: Click-it-or-ticket!

But the pilot status says all buckles are still fastened?

Okay, I admit it! I CUT his lap belt, and PUSHED him out! That guy wouldn't shut up, he's annoying, and he's a prick! So I feel no remorse!

Oh my god, not again…Claus please return to the Silvana, we'll send Titiana out for him…AGAIN…