Chapter 1.

Jac Naylor; the least maternal woman ever known to man, was slouched up against the backboard of the puny hospital bed down on the maternity unit. The consultants red hair shoved back into a now- greasy pony tale due to the excessive amounts of sweat built up during the previous painful hours, and her normally pale soft, skin complection was undoubtedly clammy.

Jac felt as if she were held hostage in this torturous position for longer than she had liked, leading her to feel hopeless.

'Why isn't anything working?' Jac's exhausted voice cracked with emotion as she threw back her head in defeat. She fought solidly to keep her emotions intact, swallowing hard to hold back her threatening tears. Jonny Maconie; the father of this congenitally ill baby, stood apprehensively by the side of his ex lovers bed- his hand with a firm hold of Jac's, merely to show his support in this dolorous situation.

On the opposite side of the maternity bed was genealogist: Mr. Derwood Thompson and midwife: Jean Rimini, both of whom had their eyes glued to the baby's heart monitor in hope of drastic change to the baby's stats- these in which showed the major deceleration of the heart beat between contractions.

'There doesn't seem to be any improving change, we've tried all there is now Jac, I'm so sorry but it's best we revert back to our previous suggestion of the cesarean' Mr T spoke with such sorrow and sympathy as he awaited nervously for the reaction of the distressed mother and father- to be. Jac shook her head vigorously, clenching her jaw tightly as she once again swallowed away the lump of emotion in the back of her throat. 'No! I'll do anything else.' Her voice quiet but almost strain- like, as if she were forcing herself to continue and to not give up on herself.

'Do it, just do it!' Jonny nodded, pleading with the genealogist. He feared massively for the unborn child, he'd always wanted a family and so this baby was the start of his very cliche dream. Jac pushed Jonny's hand away from her with the remaining strength she had left, this symbolized how she felt towards his sudden agreement with Mr T. Jonny sighed as he took in her exhausted frame, this caused by the hours and hours of slow labor. 'Jac look you. Your way's not working anymore, you're killing her.'

Jac remained silent and watched as Jonny nodded to the team in order to get the bandwagon rolling. The midwife began to prep Jac for theatre, talking her through the procedure. 'I hope you realize the information you're giving me is nothing but irrelevant. Most general surgeons learn the basics in C- sections, and I for one was once a general surgeon!' Despite the fact that she were in the mid stages of labor, she managed to hold up her icy exterior and even though Jac was a doctor herself and knew the basics of the surgery, she felt remotely grateful. Once Rimini got the 'okay' signal, Jac was wheeled down to theatre- Jonny followed behind speedily.


She lay on the table with a deathly silence, looking up at the ceiling. Disappointed and futile was the only two words capable of describing the way she felt at this point. Why wasn't she capable of giving birth naturally? Was it the CDH affecting this? Was the reason for the baby's CDH her fault as well? The only concept Jac had during the moment was the fact that it was her fault. She blamed herself.

'I can't feel her' Jac sounded worried, just as any mother would be. 'It's okay. It's just the spinal kicking in' Jonny ensured his panicky ex girlfriend as he smiled at the extent of her concern.

'Okay Jac, just relax and we'll begin now!' Mr T lifted the blue cloth which worked as a barrier to stop the parents from seeing anything unnecessary. The genealogist which now worked as her surgeon made the deep incision, causing a large amount of anatomic fluid to flow freely, the sound of this was marginally loud; however this did not block out the annoying yet soothing voice of the Scotsman who blabbered on about excuses- 'This is gonna' buy you years of emotional blackmail material, like er don't kiss boys, I had an emergency C-section for you'. Jac just listened intently to the nonsense Jonny was chatting, and to the importance and the seriousness which could be heard in Mr T's voice as he commanded his team. This caused a mixture between nervousness, yet emotionless as she still was awaiting the outcome.

'Lets get her out, nice and quickly please!' Jonny's tired eyes darted from Jac to the theatre team as Mr T made orders and commands- each of these spoken in a fearful tone. 'W-what's goin' on, what's the matter?' Jonny's thick Scottish accent became less audioable as he shifted with agitation due to the situation.

Mr Thompson and the theatre team gently but quickly pulled out the newborn baby, the cord was cut and the baby, who was still unusually silent was handed over to Jean Rimini and the midwife team. 'Is she breathing?' Jonny's anxious questions pierced through the theatre; to him he felt enclosed in this place of activity: why wasn't anyone answering?

Jac could see the team faffing about of the the corner of her eye, she turned her head fearfully to see her baby girl, whose body was instantly covered in the essential wires to keep her alive. She let out a loud muffled sigh in overthrow.

'Remember to record the apgar. Quick! Go on! Go, go, go, go , go! Midwife Rimini shouted reminders to her team, who were now wheeling the newborn baby girl out of the theatre and down into the neonatal intensive care unit. Jonny followed behind rather sharpish, leaving the concerned still poker faced mother alone on the table as the theatre team closed her up. The only thing floating around in the air was the question of whether this baby would survive or not.


'I've been doing this job for twenty six years, and one thing I know is, we can plan all we like, but on the day, baby will do what baby wants to do. These tricky births just happen sometimes there's no rhyme or reason. I can't except there's a reason for somethings. What. When. Reason and blame. In the end all that matters is that we loved our children, even if they weren't ours for very long.'

It's the great unknown. That's all there is.

Hi. This is my first story on this site, so i'm still working out how to use it correctly! I am greatly sorry for any cheeky spelling mistakes or grammar errors but i did use spell check. When i was writing this it felt as if it were 234828 pages long ha. If i were to continue this, i would need guidance on where to go next.. whether the baby survives or not etc. So please review. Thank you. :)