Sam was pacing back and forth in the main room of the bunker and the fact that Dean wasn't able to do the same thing made Sam's skin crawl. He wanted to scream at the top of his lungs, punch someone, do anything. But there wasn't anything to do. He didn't exactly remember what had happened either.
He didn't understand Dean. He didn't understand his behaviour, and that scared him. Sam always understood Dean, just as Dean always understood Sam. Even though they had their differences in opinion and mind, they understood each other. They always understood.
But now Sam didn't. He didn't understand Dean, the way he acted. Knocking him out was not like Dean at all. It wasn't him. Dean had lost control over himself, and the mark had taken control.
Sam tried to remember that, but he couldn't help to make Dean responsible for things he wasn't responsible for.
He had really thought that they were good after their little fight. Okay, they hadn't really talked it out, but it seemed okay. Dean seemed okay. He seemed to come to his mind. It was Sam's fight too after all.
But as he woke up with a pounding head and Dean nowhere in sight, he realised that Dean was far worse than Sam would have judged.
The few minutes that it took Sam to get to the warehouse were torture for him. Every second that he didn't have Dean in sight something bad could happen. Something horrible. Dean was not himself with the mark, he hadn't been for a long time.
By the time Sam finally burst through the doors, he had insulted his brother in any way that he had been able to come up with. He had cursed and sworn and promised not to talk to Dean for a whole week after this was over.
Sam had been boiling with anger, and then all of a sudden it was all gone.
It vanished as if it had never been there the second he saw Dean. His brother, on the floor, covered in blood, dying.
Again.
The irony of that caught him for a second, but then he rushed forward.
"No"
After that, everything went by in a rush.
Dean's blood was everywhere. All over his hands. Running freely down his shirt, even though he was pushing at the whole in Dean's chest with all his strength, making Dean groan in agony. He didn't care right now. He couldn't care. Dean couldn't die. He just couldn't. Not now.
"It's better this way."
Sam wanted to punch his brother for those words. But now was not the time. Not now. Later. When they were safe. Later.
He dragged Dean further, forcing him to stay on his feet, clinging to him as if he let go Dean would fall and never return.
"Sam. Hold up. Hold up."
Sam stopped reluctantly. He felt that if he stopped, everything would stop and they would never get going again. But he saw that Dean couldn't continue any further right now. They would rest for a few minutes and then go on. Go home. Be safe. Contine. In a second.
"I got to say something to you."
"What?"
Dean's eyes were piercing through Sam's and even if he had wanted to he wouldn't have been able to tear his gaze away from his brother. With that gaze they exchanged everything they would have never said out loud. They didn't need words. They had never needed words. They understood each other.
"I'm proud of us."
Sam's heart clenched together and he felt his eyes burning. He tried to blink the tears away, but as he opened his eyes again Dean's eyes were closed.
"Dean!"
But after that, nothing. Not how he had got there. How Dean had gotten there.
Dean, who was lying in his bedroom, sprawled on the bed, not moving, possibly not ever going to move again.
Dead.
And there was no one there to help him. Castiel and Gadreel were probably off fighting Metatron, probably dead by now too. And Crowley was…
"Crowley" Sam growled and stopped pacing.
His feet took him down towards the storage room of the bunker without him really noticing. "Damn it, Crowley. You got him into this mess. You will get him out... or so help me, God.. "
Crowley stepped out of the shadows in the main room as soon as Sam was out of sight.
He shook his head making his way over to Dean's room and closing the door behind him silently.
"Stupid, innocent little Moose…"
This chapter was basically a recap of the last episode of season 9 so that everyone is on the same page, but from here on it's probably gonna be AU. I've got it written out already, so if anyone wants to read this it'll be up in the next few days. So, any takers? Tell me what you thought?
