Author's note (please read): This started out as an idea for a crack fic and I had a good laugh over it, so I don't blame you one bit if you don't take this story seriously. However, the more I sussed out the plot, the more I started trying to make it halfway believable, and the more I started linking it to Biblical prophecy and whatnot, the more serious it became. I ended up giving the team a very dark and upsetting case to work on in the midst of this weird silliness, so in the end it wasn't very crack-ish at all.

What you need to know: Imagine that Christmas doesn't exist yet. Christianity doesn't exist yet. Jesus wasn't born 2000 years ago, and Israel is still waiting for the messiah (I realize modern-day Jews really are still waiting for the messiah, but I come from a Christian background, and I'm expecting that the majority of my readers will too). As far as the CM setting goes, it's somewhere in the middle, when Hotch had been dating Beth for a few months.

This is the first CM story I've put up, so... bear with me. :p


ONE: The Messenger

"I'm sorry I got back so late," Hotch told Beth as they were settling on her couch to eat takeout. "The weather was so rough they didn't want us trying to land in DC..."

"It's fine," said Beth. "They're saying that weird comet or whatever it is is causing all of this."

"Yeah, I heard. "Reid's been filling us in on a lot of ancient prophecies that some people think are coming true now. To be honest, I didn't listen to most of it, but he finds it fascinating."

"Aaron..."

Her tone sounded anxious. He searched her face and saw signs of worry. "What is it?"

"I... I found something out while you were away. I don't know how to tell you."

"Okay..." He took her hand. "Is it about your job?"

She shook her head. She was starting to breathe harder and looked near tears.

"What happened?"

"I... I missed my period several months back, and I thought it was a fluke. Stuff happens..."

Hotch felt a chill. Worst-case scenarios started running through his mind. Ovarian cancer? PCOS? ...what? "Did you see a doctor?"

"No. I felt fine otherwise, and I'd been running a lot. When I was training hard core, I skipped a lot. But I had a routine checkup this week, and when I told my doctor about it... she said..."

He put his arm around her, sensing how hard it was for her to talk.

"She said that I'm... pregnant."

A completely different type of dread started creeping over Hotch. It's not mine. And she's not showing yet... shouldn't she be showing? How long ago did it happen? "We've been seeing each other too long for it to be from a previous boyfriend," he said slowly, "and we both know it's not mine..."

"I wish I could tell you what happened," she said, her voice breaking. "And I know it sounds crazy, but I really don't understand how this happened."

"Did you tell your doctor that?" He kept his arm around her just because he knew that once everything was out in the open, there would be plenty of time to make it clear how he felt. He wanted to minimize the damage. Thank God I didn't give her the ring yet.

"I did. She thought I was just panicking." Beth looked up, tears in her eyes. "I didn't cheat on you, Aaron. I swear I didn't."

Even though he knew it was foolish to hope she was telling the truth, he asked, "Is there any way your doctor could have been mistaken?"

She shook her head again. "I don't think so."

One last try. "Is there anytime that you woke up not remembering how you'd gotten there, or where you'd been for the last few hours?"

"I tried, but I couldn't remember anything like that. All I can think of is that someone could have broken into my place while I was asleep and injected me with something to keep me out... but..."

"But how could he clean up so perfectly that you wouldn't notice anything had happened? How could you not feel it?"

"Exactly. I just don't think it's possible. But I don't know. I just don't know." She bowed her head and cried quietly, dabbing her face with a napkin. "The only other thing... you'll think I'm crazy if I tell you."

Better crazy than lying. Crazy can sometimes be fixed. "Try me," Hotch said stiffly.

"A while ago, back when this must have happened, I had this weird dream. It wasn't violent or anything—just weird. There was an angel... I know. I said it was weird. But the angel said I was going to have a baby and I asked how that would work, because I've been waiting for marriage. And then it got twice as weird... he said something like 'the spirit of God' was going to make me pregnant... without a man involved. It was super weird, but after a few days I forgot about it. Until this happened."

"So... either you were date-raped by some religious nut who fed you some story, or you're pregnant with the son of God."

"I don't know. You're the psychology expert."

"Well, I don't have a clue." Hotch pulled away from her and leaned forward on his knees. "We'll have to wait to get a paternity test... but we can only eliminate known criminals with that. It would save us a lot of time and anxiety if you'd just remember what happened."

"I know you don't believe me. And I don't blame you. But I've never lied to you. Please try to trust me now."

She could have a memory block. Wait a second... "Foretold by angels..." Reid said something about that. "Behold, a virgin shall conceive..." No. That's ridiculous.

Hotch sighed. "Listen, we shouldn't decide anything tonight. There's a big storm and the tide is going nuts, and they're saying there could be flooding quite a ways inland if that space object keeps coming closer. Right now we should be making plans in case we have to evacuate. We can sort this out later."

"Are you sure?" Beth was looking at him with a pitiful expression. "You're not just going to walk out that door and never speak to me again, are you?"

"No. I wouldn't do that." He stood up and put a hand on her shoulder. "Even if you had cheated on me... I wouldn't want things to be angry and messy. I just need time to think this through."

"Okay." She put her hand over his and looked up tearfully. "I love you, Aaron. There's no one else."

She sounded sincere. She wasn't showing any of the tells of lying. He reached up to brush the tears off her face. "Okay." He swallowed. This might be the last time I can say it, but at this moment I feel like it's still true. "I love you too. Good night."

He left the rest of his dinner there, not wanting to linger. He would find something to eat at home. Jack would probably be waiting up for him.


It had been a long week, and this day had been ridiculous. Instead of peace and comfort at home, Hotch had been greeted with incredible news. He had no idea what to make of it. He went to bed that night expecting to toss and turn a long time before getting to sleep, but it didn't take him more than a few minutes.

"Aaron Hotchner."

"Yes," Hotch answered, not sure who had spoken.

"I know you've had a shock today."

He saw the speaker now. They both seemed to be standing on some sidewalk on a street corner where the streetlight was out. Still, he could make out that the person appeared to be dressed in some sort of fancy bathrobe. He had blond hair that seemed to reflect the starlight.

"That's an understatement," Hotch muttered. "What do you know about it?"

"I know that she's telling the truth. The baby she's carrying is the Son of God."

"Come on. That's crazy."

"I suppose you don't believe in angels, either."

"You're supposed to be an angel? Where are your wings?"

"We don't all have wings!"

"You have to earn them?"

"No! And we don't care about bells ringing, either." The "angel" sighed. "Sorry. That's just one of my pet peeves."

"Okay, well, supposing you're right and this baby is that 'messiah' person Reid was talking about... what am I supposed to do about it?"

"Beth is a fine woman and she hasn't done anything wrong. You should take care of her and the baby. Go ahead and marry her when all of this is over."

"Oh, great. You know, everyone's going to think this baby is mine. They'll think it's the reason we're getting married. I might as well just marry her now." He said it sarcastically, but it didn't seem like the worst option.

"No, you mustn't do that."

"Why not?"

"Because it's not a miracle for a married woman to have a child. Everyone needs to know that Beth was impregnated by the Holy Spirit. That's how this works. It's how the prophecy gets fulfilled."

"I'm telling you, they're just going to think we didn't wait. If I hand them some story about there being no father, I'll be a joke."

"What's more important to you: your reputation or Beth?"

"That's not fair."

"It's not exactly fair to her, either. She's the one that will be accused of cheating."

He had a point. "Well, neither of us asked for this."

"No, and neither of you deserve it. It's an honor. You're going to raise a perfect child to be the savior of the world. And that reminds mebe sure to name him something that identifies him. He will save people from sin, so 'Jehovah Saves' would be a good option."

"Shouldn't it be 'The Son Of Jehovah Saves'?" Hotch snarked.

"No. If he weren't God himself, this plan wouldn't work."

"Wait. Son of God, fine. Perfect child, whatever. But now you're saying this baby actually is God."

"Yes. 'God With Us' is another good one..."

"Now, hold up, Gabriel..."

"You know my name?"

Hotch had studied the Hebrew Bible and the Book of Enoch, and this was the only angelic figure with whom he was familiar. "You're telling me you're supposed to be the Gabriel?"

"Let's not get off topic again. Keep Beth and her baby safe. It may seem like you're getting a raw deal now, but you won't be sorry." The angel turned to leave.

Hotch found that he couldn't move after him. "Hey, wait. I have a couple more questions. I said wait!"

Hotch sat up. He was in his own bed. It was four in the morning. He groaned and lay back down. Now I'm having the weird dreams. Maybe it was the curry.


So there's the start to this bizarre adventure. Merry Christmas. :p