WARNING: THIS IS SET AFTER NIGHTFALL. THERE ARE SPOILERS! SO MANY SPOILERS!
A/N: I should have tallied how many times Sophie and Fitz held hands in NIGHTFALL, like. . . really.
My heart is officially melted.
Well, it took so long to read NIGHTFALL to Amy and Abel (haha, yeah that's a total lie. Took me less than a day. . . But it still felt like awhile, especially reading it aloud!)
Archer was very confused xD. I've tried to get him into the series, but he's a teenage boy. . . He's kinda skeptical, lol. Anyway, he was listening in while I was reading and, as I said, was very confused. He also freaked when (NIGHTFALL SPOILER!) Dex and Sophie kinda, you know. . . kissed and all that jazz (SPOILER OVER!). That was a very awkward but slightly cute moment.
It was even adorable how Sophie was honored that he thought of her that way and that she liked getting to share that moment with him.
And. . . you know what that means. . .
Sophie's crossed that boundary. . . So. . . SHANNON CAN'T POSSIBLY HOLD BACK ANOTHER FROM US FOR FAR TOO LONG HAHAHA
...
Sorry. I got too carried away : )
Sophie awoke in a cold sweat, shivering as she gripped tighter onto her bright blue elephant, Ella. She held back the tears welling up in her eyes at the reminders of everything that had happened.
It had taken such a toll on her and the affects had been going for weeks on end.
Everything from the disastrous and awkward kiss with Dex, Mr. Forkle's emotional planting, the treacherous trek to both Nightfalls, the battle with Vespera and Fintan, the rush to save Atlantis, Biana's injuries, Prentice finally being healed, but one of the Forkles not being there to see it, the meet with Dimitar, Keefe's injury (but thankfully he also recovered), the strenuous calls with Lady Gisela, Keefe and Fitz. . .
But the one that stuck with her the most was the part where she teamed with Damel to wipe her parent's memories. Granted, she should consider how lucky she was to get to have her sister remember everything, including her, but. . .
The way her mother had looked at Sophie with her beautiful green eyes. They'd been clouded until Sophie had whispered, "I'll always love you." Then they cleared and her mother looked away.
Sophie had instantly gotten a lump in her throat, figuring her mother was confused and didn't remember her, so maybe she was checking out her surroundings. Or maybe she had been too traumatized with the remembrance of the interrogations, her wounds, her husband's wounds. Perhaps the things Vespera had filled her head with, all lies meant to drag the truth out of her. Or, hey, maybe even that her mother did remember her, but she knew in her heart that it was Sophie's fault she was here in the first place.
So Sophie had tried to blink away her tears as she reached for Damel's hand, ready to enhance him and rid her mother of those awful memories. Let her slip from the dark past into a bright future where she'd hopefully be happy with her husband and their one daughter.
One. Not two. Because that was how it was supposed to be.
But then Sophie's breath caught in her lungs, making them burn as fresh tears surfaced when her mother rasped, "I'll always love you too, Sophie," right as Damel's fingertips reached her pale temples.
Her mother had remembered her.
I'll always love you too, Sophie.
But how could she, with no memory of the daughter that was never really hers? How could she, even if she did have her memory?
For then she would truly know Sophie wasn't hers, just as the blonde elf already knew. Maybe some love would have severed if she'd known. Who could love a girl shoved into their life, who was made to appear as their own, but never truly was? Why would they love someone like that? A lie?
A parasite was what she felt like. Like she'd nestled her way into the family and clung on even though her whole life her brain had secretly been a couple step ahead of her conscious being, knowing she didn't belong. Knowing it wasn't right.
And Sophie's heart hurt to think about that. It ached like this empty void inside her. This gaping whole, a festering wound that she feared would only grow and grow with time.
The evil thoughts taunted her, ripped her to shreds slowly, but she tried so. Hard. So hard to not show it to any of her friends.
After all these were her problems, right? Not theirs. Her friends had their own problems and she didn't want to add on to those. So she had decided it was better to keep the dark thoughts to herself. The shadows over her sun. The sadness over her joy.
Keefe was still making well on his promise to the late Mr. Forkle checking up on her as much as he could, because even if Sophie didn't like it, he could feel exactly what she was feeling to an amplified volume and she was sure they weren't positive emotions. She knew they weren't.
Dex still tried to keep in contact and be a supporter, even if from a little distance. He was trying to give Sophie space after their little moment, trying to respect her in any way possible, including any boundaries. And she appreciated it, but she also wished he'd come back to being her absolute best friend who was always there for her. And she wanted to be able to be there for him, too.
Biana was recovering from her wounds and trying to act like Alvar's memory loss didn't bother her, putting on a fake smile whenever Sophie hailed her or saw her at school, etc. But Sophie was actually pretty shocked that Biana was fully attending school, so she had to give her friend points for the bravery.
Fitz seemed to be just as shocked and numb as Biana, though he tried the whole "we're Cognates. I'm only worried about you," sympathy card. Sophie didn't buy it, especially when she noticed his drooped shoulders and how tired his usually full-of-life eyes were. Not to mention the dark circles. When she pointed them out, he gave a counter attack by pointing out her own and she'd blushed profusely, realizing how terrible they really were, and finally coming to terms with how little sleep she was actually getting.
Tam and Linh were still living with Tiergan, as was Wylie. Even though Prentice was healed, Physic had wanted to continue to monitor his vitals and have some Telepaths off the Collective and what not monitor his mental state, just to make sure everything was fine. And Sophie still had to drop the "Cyrah died and your son has been living with someone else for thirteen years" bombshell. It hurt to just think about the pain she knew she'd see in his lapis eyes.
Alden and Della both looked deeply affected by Alvar's predicament as well, though she noticed how much they tried to contain it and pull their brave faces. Della had even offered to take her, Linh, and Biana all out to Atlantis, then immediately realized how the gnomes were still working to rebuild that and the Council was scrambling to make sure everything went back to normal. Della quickly re-countered her old plan with an entirely new one, suggesting a sleepover, but Sophie knew how much stress that would add, so she refused as politely as possible.
Grady and Edaline looked worried as ever for Sophie and she hated putting her adoptive parents through so much, but she couldn't seem to shake her funk.
Sophie was a minute away from having a mental breakdown, so with her body ready to sob and let everything out, she grabbed her Imparter and decided to hail someone. She knew it was the middle of the night and that she should try to wait and not be so selfish by taking up their much-needed rest, she said the command. "Show me Fitz Vacker."
She could hear Sandor shuffling outside her door, but she was glad he stayed out there, letting her be to herself. She knew he was probably worrying, but she still felt good that he was giving her space.
The Imparter screen flashed to life and she saw a dimly lit room, with light streaming in from a large window. She could also make out the lines of ruffled covers and disheveled hair, as well as. . .
"Is that Mr. Snuggles?" she asked and she couldn't contain her smile, or the light giggle that slipped from her lips.
Fitz groaned and then yawned, showing clear signs that he was very tired. "And I see Ella hanging out in the background. At least, I think. It's kind of dark."
His voice was heavy and slurred. Sophie frowned. "I'm sorry, should I let you go?"
It took a moment for him to answer, so Sophie had assumed he'd fallen back to sleep and was getting ready to hang up when he answered, "No. I never said that. It's just late." He yawned again and Sophie gave a sad smile, though she wasn't sure if he could see it in the dark room. She watched as he flicked on a lamp next to his bed and the room flooded with light. So, she went and grabbed one of her moon jars then crawled back in bed, observing him.
His hair was messed up and ruffled around in random spikes that Sophie found made him even more adorable, and his teal eyes even had a sparkle to them in the dim light. But she knew it was his own good nature that added that sparkle, not light reflecting off his eyes. He caused that glow that made her heart flutter everytime she looked into them. She noticed the dark circles again, too
She sighed. "I'm sorry," she started out.
He frowned as he adjusted his pillow up so he could lean his back against it in a sitting position against the headboard. "Why?"
She sucked in a shaky, uneven breath, her negative emotions catching back up to her like a tidal wave suddenly slamming into her. "F-for everything," she choked out halfway through a sob, covering her mouth. She didn't want to cry. She hated crying in front of her friends-especially Fitz. She hated doing that to him, putting him in that position.
He bit his lip. "Sophie, hey. Hey. It'll be okay. What's wrong?"
Fitz spoke the words quietly and soothing and he looked so adorably concerned and any other time she would have been gushing over his actions, but right now she couldn't find it in herself to blush or make her heart slam against her ribcage like it usually did.
She buried her face in her hands and let out a couple of hiccup-sobs, trying to grasp ahold of why she'd even called in the first place. She heard Fitz's bed creak on the other end of the Imparter and she tried to wipe the shot off her nose before she faced the Imparter. "Fitz, what are you-"
"Hold on. Stay there. I'll be right back," he promised , before severing the call. She was utterly confused and quite frankly hurt that he'd just left like that. But she did have to keep in mind that he was tired and had his own problems to worry about. She sighed, trying to come to the terms that he wasn't going to call back.
So, she put the moon jar on her nightstand along with her Imparter and snuggled back into the covers of the huge bed, wishing she didn't feel so alone.
She wanted to sink into a dreamless oblivion so badly. It was what sounded amazing to her right then and there, like it was an escape from all the trials and tribulations. Like she could just sneak away to a fictional place that have her comfort all the more, but even if it was only temporary comfort.
She was halfway considering taking a sedative when she felt a hand careers her shoulder and she realized she'd buried herself and her head under the covers. She pulled the covers back and squinted at the lights that were flicked on in her room. The figure in front of her slowly came into focus and she frowned. "Fitz?" she rasped.
Fitz smiled warmly. "I leapt over here. Sandor let me in. . . You've been hiding under those covers for awhile, haven't you?"
"How long has it been?" she questioned softly, sitting up when he sat on the edge of the bed directly next to her. He reached for her hand, twining their fingers together. She half expected their rings to snap together, but then remembered they'd have to be talking telepathically for that to happen. Or, at least have their minds connected.
"Ten minutes, about," he replied, and she nodded. She was surprised how she didn't care what kind of bed-head she probably had or if any eyelashes were stuck in her cheeks from her ripping them out like a maniac. She was sure her eyes were puffy, too.
"You're. . . in your pajamas," she noted gingerly.
He grinned, looking down at the simple pants and shirt, plus the cape he had thrown in in the rush of things. "You make me do crazy things," was all he replied with.
She cleared her throat and sniffled, wiping her eyes with her free hand. "I just. . . I can't believe they've forgotten me," she whispered. "Like, I know I wanted it. Both times. I wanted it the first and the second time. But. . . I don't know. I just know that this time, it's permanent. They'll never remember me. Sure, Amy will. And it would be amazing if in the near future, I could visit her. But how am I supposed to do that without the Council on me about it and my Mom and Dad being there. . . They won't exactly let Amy talk with a. . ." Her voice cracked and she squeaked out, "Stranger."
it hurt to say the words, but maybe she just needed to get used to them. They felt wrong in her tongue, but also. . . Right, in some way.
Fitz had been nodding lightly as she spoke on her soft tone, making it clear he was listening intently and was concerned. He'd even been caressing the top of his hand and her fingers with his thumb. His voice seemed strained as he said, "Sometimes I hate myself so much for taking you away from your human family. I mean, look at how much pain it's causing you, even almost two years later. . ."
She shook her head. "This is not your fault, Fitz," she promised, tightening her grip and looking him straight in the eyes which made her heart skip a beat as he stared intently into hers. "What if it is?"
Sophie bit her lip. "Nothing you have ever done has affected me in a way that I have needed to say, 'this is your fault.' You'e only ever been good to me, Fitz. You've taken care of me, been there for me-"
"What about when my dad's mind broke?" he countered. "I was a real jerk to you, then."
She pressed her lips together, licking them. "That was justified," she answered. "I would've freaked, too. I'm just glad I was able to help him and that you didn't break, either." Her voice quieted with the last confession and she glanced up at him, mouth slightly open as his eyes searched hers. She felt like her soul was being lit up with a tractor beam on the most hidden places. She felt exposed as she looked into those teal eyes, but she also felt safe.
She blinked multiple times and swallowed as he came out of his daze and she cleared her throat. "Of course, I'm glad Della didn't too and neither did Biana," she added in an attempt to clear the awkwardness from the room .
He nodded. "Uh, back on track. . . Are you okay?"
Sophie blinked back the fresh tears. In all honesty? "No," she croaked. "I miss them. I miss them so much."
And she covered her mouth as another heart-wrenching sin escaped, so Fitz pulled her closer to him and let her soak his pajama shirt full of tears. She was crying and hiccuping and apologizing over and over as she shook in his arms, but he kept trying to assure her that everything was fine whispering gently to her that everything would be okay and that he's always be there. "Please don't leave," she mumbled miserably into his shoulder, still sobbing and shaking uncontrollably . "Not yet."
"Not yet," he agreed, running small circles in her back. "You won't ever be alone, okay? I'll always be with you. Right here. Whenever you need me. I'll be with you from dusk till dawn. I promise."
~ Fín! ~
But you'll never be alone
I'll be with you from dusk till dawn
I'll be with you from dusk till dawn
Baby, I'm right here
I'll hold you when things go wrong
I'll be with you from dusk till dawn
I'll be with you from dusk till dawn
Baby, I'm right here
I'll be with you from dusk till dawn
Baby, I'm right here
A/N: too many Sophitz feels after NIGHTFALL, that I just had to write this.
Also, this is cheesily based off the song "dusk till dawn" sung by Zayn, feat. Sia.
...Have I posted this already? I can't remember xD
