It comes every year and every year it seems to just get bigger and better. It's the best part of the year, the part of the year that I get to let loose and party from dawn on the east coast 'till midnight in the far shores of Hawaii! I'm not quite sure how many hours that gives me, but I use every second to my advantage. I decorate my entire house in my favorite colors, hang every flag I own up, and then we party at the beach, grill hot dogs and hamburgers, and celebrate! Parades march through the streets and fairs and carnivals are set up in every city. Then, once the skies darken, the real celebration begins and we shoot off fireworks of every different kind and color! The sky lights up as if it's day again and the air is filled with loud pops and bangs as well as everyone's excited chatter. Little kids run around with sparklers while the older, more daring kids set off smaller fireworks of their own. Yes, I am talking about my favorite holiday: My Birthday, also known as Independence Day and the Fourth of July. I try my hardest to outdo last year's celebration every time my birthday comes around again, but no matter how many fireworks I set off, how many hamburgers I eat, or how many people I invite, I can never keep myself from getting a little depressed.

The Fourth of July marks the date when I gained my independence from England. Even so, I don't think that I was really independent on that day myself. England didn't want me to become independent yet and we argued and ended up fighting each other. It was a really tough battle for the both of us. I wasn't quite sure what I was doing at the time. I was young and stupid and probably just going through a rebellious stage in my life. I mean, sure England started taxing the hell out me and making me so angry, but I didn't want to go to war with him. I just wanted him to stop bullying me so much. Even after I declared my own independence I wasn't sure if that was what I really wanted. I did really want to become independent, to become a nation on my own. I wanted to grow big and strong and show off to the world what I could become. However, there was also a part of me that was still loyal to England. He was my big brother. He took care of me and played with me when I was younger. We loved each other and it was an awesome relationship. I didn't want that to end. I didn't want to betray the one who got me so far. And yet that is exactly what I did.

Every year on the Fourth of July, I try to make my celebrations bigger and better to keep myself from remembering that time, but I always fail. I'll space out while at the grill or my mind will wander while I'm floating in the pool. Sometimes I'll mistake the bang of a firework for that of a gunshot and it's enough to send me spiraling downward into a depressing pit of memories...

~.~.~.~.~

"Are you guys sure that I should become independent?" A younger me, dressed in a dirty uniform was shifting from foot to foot in front of a large room of people. I just returned from the battle field and hadn't had time to wash the blood and sweat from my clothes. "I'm starting to have second thoughts. I mean, despite England being a jerk lately, he's really a nice guy. I mean, can't you remember all the good he's done for us?" That was a stupid question and I realized it right away. Of course no one here could remember all the good times. They hadn't been around back then. The answer I got reflected this fact and I hung my head.

"You might have lingering feelings for your brother, but you must throw them away while on the battle field," one of the men in assembly had stood up. I couldn't really remember which one this was because they all looked alike. They were all about the same age with white wigs and tight fancy clothing, not to mention they were all very clean. I felt awkward being so dirty in this room of stiffs. "It's normal for brothers to fight and you don't want him to baby you anymore, right? You have grown into a fine young man. You are not a child anymore. You are fighting so England will realize this. He can't get away with how he's treating you!"

I hung my head again and bit my lower lip. "Yeah," I agreed weakly.

Another man noticed my reluctance and lack of will and he took a turn to speak now, "If you will not do it for yourself then do it for you colonies, no your states."

At this statement, I looked up. My states. I had been rather selfish recently had I? I forgot to take my newly formed states into consideration. Looking out across the old guys who were assembled, I suddenly realized that I had a choice to make: England or my states. I loved England, but I had a duty to my states and I had to do what best for them. Swallowing the lump in my throat, I nodded and gained a fierce look of determination, "Alright! I will gain my independence!"

~.~.~.~.~

"Yo! Dude! You're burning the burgers!" A tan man was frantically waving a hand in front of my face trying to pull me back out of my memories.

"Huh?" I blinked and looked down. "Oh shit!" I did my best to try and save the hamburgers, but some of them were just too far gone. "Damn it," I muttered, having to throw out perfectly good patties. Actually I wasn't as upset with the burgers as I was with the memory. Why did I have to remember pointless things from so long ago? Why did I have to remember such depressing pointless things on my birthday?

"Hey, Alfred! Where did you put the fireworks?" Another man asked me.

Fireworks? Already? Looking up at the sky I realized that it was already getting dark. How long had I been spaced out for? Trying to forget the past, I set up the fireworks with a few professionals and then grinned as they gave me the thumbs up. "Alright! Is everyone ready for the first firework of the night?" I shouted to the people on the beach as I lit a match and then held it to the fuse of the first firework. Now a days the fireworks are all set off by remote control because it's safer that way, but here, the first firework on the Fourth of July is done by hand, my hand. I eagerly watched the rocket jet up into the dark sky. It exploded with a bright fiery array of reds, whites and blues, but even though I was staring right at it, I couldn't see it.

~.~.~.~.~

It was raining. England was standing in front of me wearing his red uniform. We made fun of his troupes and called them lobsters because of the color. Behind me, several men in uniforms, my blue uniforms, were standing. England and I were glaring at each other and we each had a musket trained on the other. "Hey, England!" I called out to him, "I want my freedom!" My voice was low and menacing and it took everything I had to keep it there. If I wasn't careful, I just knew that my voice would get higher because that's what voices do when people are about to cry. "I'm not a little kid anymore! I'm not your little brother either!" I felt my heart beat painfully at my own words. This was a lot harder than I thought it was going to be, but I had to do this. I had to break the ties with England once and for all. I couldn't be his little brother. I had to become independent for my states. If I showed any weakness at all, let even one tear roll down my cheek, I knew I wouldn't be able to stop crying and I wouldn't be able to win this war. "I am independent!"

The rain continued to fall and we continued to glare at each other. Then England's expression started to change. It grew softer and more sad, but just for a moment. That had caught me off guard and allowed England to suddenly charge me. I was barely able to get my musket up to protect myself, but England hit it aside with his bayonet and then pointed it at me. Behind me, my men trained their guns on England, ready to fire. I just stood there and stared down this musket. I heard England say something, but what it was, my mind wouldn't comprehend. Then suddenly the barrel was lowered. "I can't," I heard England say in a broken voice. "I can't shoot you, you bloody fool." Then I watched him drop his weapon and fall to the muddy ground. He covered his face with a hand and started to cry. "Damn it! Why damn it?"

"England," I said, my own voice getting dangerously shaky. No, don't cry, England. Don't cry right there in front of me. You look so pathetic, so damned sad. If you cry in front of me right here how will I be able to hold back my own tears? You were always the one to comfort me when I cried. What am I supposed to do when you cry? You used to be the big one. What happened to you? "You used to be so big."

~.~.~.~.~

"Happy Fourth of July everyone! That was the best fireworks display yet!" I blinked away the tears that had gathered in my eyes, trying to see past the blur. Looking around, I realized that I had missed the entire fireworks show! "Aw, man," I mumbled to myself.

Suddenly I jumped as someone slapped my back. "You alright, man? You seemed kinda spaced out through the whole thing. What were you thinking about?"

I grinned, but shook my head, "Nothing really." It wasn't a complete lie. I was thinking about nothing, nothing of importance. It was all in the past and I didn't need to relive that damned day every single year. Sighing, I followed the mass of people towards the shore where several large bonfires had been lit. Music played and the atmosphere was the complete opposite as my memories had been. I forced a large smile on my face and started to sing and dance with everyone else.

A tap on my shoulder caused me to turn around, "Hm?" But my happy façade quickly dropped as I realized who it was. "E-England."

"Hello, America. Happy birthday," my big brother smiled at me and held out a small box wrapped in red, white, and blue.

I forced another smile onto my face and eagerly accepted the gift, "Thank you! Oh boy, what is it?" I shook the box a little while holding it to my ear. Then I ripped the paper off and opened the box. Inside was a small bag of what I instantly recognized as England's home cooking. I smiled softly, "It's been a while since I've eaten anything you made, England." I looked up and saw England smiling cheerfully back at me, but for a split second, I swear I saw a look of sorrow on his face. "You know, you don't have to celebrate my birthday if you don't want to. You don't have to push yourself, England."

At this, England crossed his arms and glared at me, "Well excuse me for trying to do something nice."

I grinned. Same old England. I couldn't help but pull him into a hug. I felt England hesitate for a moment, but then he wrapped his arms around me as well. It was such a comforting gesture, my carefully constructed wall fell and all the emotions I had been trying to hide away came pouring out. I started to cry on England's shoulder and couldn't stop. England just pat my back and didn't say a word.

Once my tears finally slowed to a stop, I rubbed my face on England's shirt, wiping my tears and snot on it. Then I just rested my forehead against his shoulder, "I'm sorry," I said, "I didn't mean for that to happen. I just, I don't know." I laughed uncomfortably and stood up straight. Then I looked at England's face. It was soft and caring, a face I hadn't seen him make since I was just a little kid. I must have made some face myself because England quickly rearranged his features into a scowl. I grinned at that. "No hard feelings, right, England? I know that I'm independent now and I'm probably a better nation than even you now, but," I trailed off, smiling softly at the man in front of me.

Before I could find the right words to finish with, England did it for me, "and even though you've turned into an arrogant and selfish country, I still love you, America."

My breath hitched for a moment and my stomach was instantly filled with butterflies. "I love you too, England. I never stopped, not even for a moment."


A/N:

Aw drat! I wanted to get this done and up yesterday. Oh well. Either way, Happy Fourth of July, everyone! And happy birthday to you,America.

(Another side note: I never knew how much trouble I had with the word "Independence" before this fanfic. xP My goodness!)