50 Things that Glee has Taught Us

If your girlfriend is pregnant and you don't want your mom to know, don't sing to the sonogram when she comes in the room.

There is a train that goes to destination: horror.

"Single Ladies" will always help you win your football game.

If you have a hysterical pregnancy, just go ahead and lie to your husband about it instead of telling him the truth.

Gold stars make you special.

"I Could Have Danced All Night" and the "Thong Song" don't work well together.

If the balloon pops, an angel dies.

Sometimes, venting your emotions through breaking out in random song and dance can be very good for your baby bump.

If you're babysitting for a bunch of rowdy kids, you can settle them down through the power of Madonna.

If you call someone's house in the middle of the night, they'll make you hang up by threatening that if they don't get any sleep, their anti-depressants won't work, and then they'll go crazy and kill you.

Picnics in the auditorium always lead to make out sessions.

If your teacher is hot, they can be in a successful boy band.

Zoot suits are for men only.

14. The celibacy club isn't that effective.

If you're a guy with curly hair, you're automatically a lesbian.

Never attempt the 'sexy Sandy' look; you'll end up looking like a sad clown hooker.

If you use a mattress, it can't be returned.

Singing your girlfriend's pregnancy to her parents isn't exactly a good idea.

Lightning has something in common with an above ground swimming pool.

Weed brownies sell way more than cupcakes (with or without the jelly bean on top)

The authorities will find out if you hide a bird in your locker.

Women don't have prostates.

Getting vaccinations in the hospital make your kids stupid.

Ties are perfect gifts for your teacher-crush.

Your t-zone is not your crotch.

The square root of four is not rainbows, no matter how much you want it to be.

Mattress commercials are much more fun when you get to jump on the mattresses.

28. If he busts your heart, you can bust his window.

29. Giving birth is bloody; you're pushing a watermelon out of your boy howdy.

30. Blackmail is the best option when trying to get a hot football player into the glee club.

31. Quinn has a weird obsession with Dianna Ross music.

32. Smack your competition down like the hand of God.

33. Before you throw someone in the dumpster, make sure you take their Gucci messenger bag first.

34. Sex is the best weapon to use to get a crowd interested in a school assembly.

35. The most popular yearbook defacing items are buckteeth and a Hitler mustache.

36. No matter how many times Rachel storms out of rehearsal, she'll always come back.

37. Teachers can use students as their personal spies.

38. If you are having trouble making the right decision, remember the time you killed the mailman while driving around the block.

39. Status is like currency; when your bank account is full, you can pretty much do anything you want, but when it's gone, you aren't protected from cold liquid dripping down your face into your underpants.

40. YES. WE. CANE!

41. On the day after Christmas, if you're an ugly or a fatty, stay home; Sue doesn't want to look at you.

42. Puck will sleep with your mom—if you have a pool to clean.

43. The most romantic thing a guy can do is put chalk on your nose and wipe it off with his finger.

44. Being a part of something special makes you special.

45. All you need is "Endless Love" to become an obsessed stalker.

46. Hairography; it's like cool epilepsy.

47. Sex is not dating.

48. Slushie facials are a blast of stinging, fruity pain.

49. Artie still has the use of his penis.

50. Don't stop believin'!