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NOTE: The Outsiders belongs to S.E. Hinton.
This world is a chess board of abhorrence, and we're the hopeless pieces.
I don't understand why this world is filled with so much hate, it ain't even funny. Hatred turned Dallas into a numb human; feeling no affection for others, just pure, cold hostility. Because of hatred, we have that big, thick line between the Greasers and the Socs. Sure they may have jumped us many times, but I don't hate 'em. I know I should since they've been nothing but trouble to us, but I don't. They're people with emotions, just like us.
If we treated each other nicely, then we'd all get along great. We were missing the key point – we both wanted respect. It explained all the fights, the rumbles, the name-calling, the threatening. If there were no such things as greasers and socs, our life would be much better, y'know. I think all of us, deep down in our hearts; we just want to live happy. Who doesn't? Who wants to live in a cruel world? Sure I guess some people like fighting and the rumbles, but it ain't really healthy for us. 'Violence never solved anything,' my mom used to say all the time.
I know all of this is true, but when I saw Johnny lying on the hospital bed, I felt nothing but hate towards the socs. I hated them so much. If it weren't for them, we would have been at our homes, hangin' with the gang or something. If it weren't for them, Johnny wouldn't be a murderer. If it weren't for them, we wouldn't be in all this mess. If it weren't for them, Johnny Cade wouldn't be dying.
I could feel the tension growing in the room as Dally started to speak up. "Johnnycake?" His voice sounded raspy and sore from the rumble. "Johnny?"
My heart literally did a flip when I saw my best friend's tired eyes flicker open. "Hey," He whispered softly, and I noticed how weak he looked. His breathing was staggered, and I knew that he didn't have that long. But I didn't want to face reality. I just stood and watched.
"We won," Dally started. "We beat the Socs. We stomped them – chased them outa our territory."
"Useless… fighting's no good…"
I held back my tears from spilling as I listened to their voices. It was hard to imagine a life without Johnny. We did everything together; he was the only person, other than Sodapop, that I could talk to without holding back. I could tell him anything and he would listen, without interrupting. He would just listen… I'm gonna miss him a lot. I don't want him to die. I don't want him to die.
No.
Johnny wasn't dying. He was just hurt badly. It was just burns; just some burns. He was going to get out of the hospital and he'd come and live with them and everything would be just fine. I'll help him with his homework and Two-Bit would be laughing with Steve and Sodapop. Darry'll cook something to eat and we'll all gather 'round the table and we'll all be happy. Life would be great. Everything will be just…
"Ponyboy."
Johnny's croaked out and brought me back into reality. This wasn't his dreams; Johnny was dying. I slowly leaned in closely to listen to what he had to say.
"Stay gold, Ponyboy. Stay gold…"
And with that, he died. It all happened so fast, I couldn't get a grip on myself. I felt my head spinning in confusion and I just stared at Johnny's body. He was gone. He was really gone… No more watching movies together. No more telling him about the country. No more hanging' with him at the lot. No more of his puppy dog eyes. No more of dazed expressions. No more of his quietness. No more Johnny Cade.
Dally seemed real upset. I was too, but Dal, he really looked like he finally broke. After muttering silent cries, he busted out the room. I didn't follow him because anyone with brains knew better than to mess with Dallas when he's in a dangerous mood. I'm a little surprised that I'm able to just stand there calmly while Dal lost it. He sure did love Johnny. He treated him differently than anyone else. He'd let Johnny get away with things that he'd kill us for.
I stood there, watching Johnny for a while, but then decided to go back home and inform Darry and the others. They're probably worried since I left right after the rumble, without telling them either. Before closing the door, I glanced back at my dead best friend one last time, and quietly whispered. "Bye Johnnycakes."
I didn't need to say more; he'd understand.
I walked back home in silence with too much on my mind.
I hope he's safer in heaven. I hope he's happier, without pain, without worries. I hope he's glad to be away from his parents. I hope he misses us, but not too much to bust his bottoms off. I hope he's able to run around there. I hope he's made new friends.
'Don't forget about me, Johnny.' I thought in my mind as I finally reached my house.
I opened the door and allowed the bright light engulf me into the room.
I would never forget Johnny. He was my soul, my savior, my best friend.
